Is it Unfair to Bring New Life Into a Broken World?
- Amanda Idleman Contributing Writer
- Updated Oct 27, 2022
I became a mother to the most perfect baby boy at the young age of 25. I remember feeling so much joy, but in the months to follow, I became acutely aware of how scary, evil, and dangerous the world he lives in can be. For a long time, I wondered how God could be so good and our world so utterly evil. I wondered if I had been unwise to tether my heart to such a vulnerable little one. It all felt so terrifyingly risky, as I am not the one that numbers my son's days, nor can I forever shield him from all the brokenness that torments our world.
I think my experience as a new mom, wondering if there was wisdom in adding more people to this chaotic reality, is what many more thoughtful adults face as they contemplate pursuing parenthood. Ultimately, my grappling led me to a fuller and truer understanding of the gospel. As a young adult, I had not faced the kinds of trials or loved anyone enough to really see how desperately I needed God's promise of redemption to be true. Motherhood made me face some of my mortality, and even more terrifyingly, I had to accept the mortality and vulnerability of my children.
God Is Trustworthy
Fear of following God's encouragement to "be fruitful and multiply" comes from a place of hopelessness (Genesis 1:28). We aren't seeing that those we are entrusted with are born for such a time as this with a mission to be God's light in this world. While their lives may not be without grief, we are bringing eternal beings into the world. The glory of their "forever home" of Heaven is the hope that makes life worth living.
I remember one dark season of my mind as a young Mom; I was wrestling with God, asking if he loves us, why do we die? Why do we face this terrifyingly final end of existing here on Earth? How could I live knowing that it's possible that the ones my soul loves can be ripped away from me at a moment's notice? Really, I wanted to know if I could trust this God who was asking me to follow and love him wholeheartedly. Honestly, I often need his reassurance on this journey.
The simple answer I heard whispered into my heart as I stood in my foyer, unpacking bags and children, was a gentle reminder that he came to Earth to overcome death. He loved us so much that he came in the form of a man, a state we could relate to and understand, and gave himself, so death no longer had the last word. I could trust him with my children because death, while always sad, is not the end. I can live at peace because of his promise of Eternal life.
Really what I needed to hear is I get it; you're right. Death sucks so much. That's why I came down from Heaven to take its power away. He empathizes. He sees our fear and addresses it. He is our hope. When fear of evil, loss, and ultimately death grip my Momma's heart, I return to this simple whispered truth that never resonated quite as soundly as it had on that ordinary day.
God Promises Hope for the Generations to Come
Another anchor to my often anxious Momma's heart is God's many promises for future generations. God's timeline is so different from ours because he sees the future, and he loves them. Psalm 27:13-14 says, "I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."
God promises goodness in this life. It's not all broken; God's grace is also redeeming it. Sometimes we have to be patient to see God's miracles unfold, but God is working on our behalf even when we cannot recognize the work of his hand. God also promises us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Psalm 78:4-6 tells us to share God's miracles with the next generation so they will know him. God sees a big beautiful picture, and every child we bring into this world has a place in his grand story.
Be Open to Allowing God to Expand Your Idea of Parenthood
For those of us who do not feel called to carry a new life into this world, you, too, can be a part of stewarding the next generation. Not all of us are called to be what many would consider "traditional" biological parents. Some of us are unable to conceive, maybe have not found a spouse but desire to parent, or are uncomfortable "bringing a new life into this broken world." There is still a call on your life to raise up the next generation. Each generation desperately needs those with more life experience, wisdom, and faith to invest in them.
Mentorship, foster care, adoption, kinship care, step-parenting, carrying a frozen embryo, or other ways of parenting all have tremendous significance and value. Maybe the lack of desire to be a biological parent is a tiny nudge from the Holy Spirit to take a step of faith and stand in the gap for vulnerable children or parents in a less traditional fashion.
Psalm 127: 3-5 tells us, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Meaning that parenting is a blessing and filling your "quiver" does not have to look like bringing children into the world that all share your same DNA. It can be a quiver full of children you foster, a mentor, a struggling young family member who needs an adult's loving support, and more!
God designed the family. After all, he sent his only son to show us his love for us. Children are a good gift from the Lord. I know firsthand how overwhelming it can be to step up and parent in this crazy world, but parenthood is a holy privilege that I am so very thankful for. May God direct you and give you peace about what stewarding the next generation could look like for you!
