Don't put your children first
- 2001 9 Nov
If your desire is to raise a child who is well adjusted - with the proper amount of self-esteem and humility - you need to take your primary focus off your child.
- Keep your priorities straight. God never intended for parents to make idols of money, careers, or their children. Too many families revolve around the children and their activities. Parents who wait to have children seem to dote on the child more than other couples.
- Make God your greatest priority. Put God first.
- Do your children know that your relationship with God is the most important relationship in your life?
- Let them see you in worship, prayer, and Bible study.
- Do your children comprehend that your relationship with your spouse is the second most important thing in your life?
- Do you and your spouse take time to be alone together on a regular basis?
- Do you prefer being with your children to being with your spouse? If so, what are you going to do to change that desire?
- When you and your spouse are together, do you always talk about the children or do you have other areas of discussion and interest?
- Note: If the husband or wife is not available due to death, divorce, or separation, then the children are the second priority, but never the first.
- Are your children routinely allowed to interrupt and control conversations that you and your spouse - or another person - are trying to have?
- Are your children trustworthy? Do they follow instructions?
- Do your children accept rules or punishment? Do they learn from them?
From 9 Myths That Damage a Child's Confidence by Pat Holt, copyright (c) 1999. Used by permission of Harold Shaw Publishers, Wheaton, Ill., 1-800-742-9782.
Pat Holt, a former teacher and curriculum consultant, is administrator of West Valley Christian Academy in California. She is the mother of two children, the author of Ten Myths that Damage a Woman's Confidence and co-author of Don't Give In, Give Choices; Your Kids Have a Plan, Do You?, and When You Feel Like Screaming: Help for Frustrated Mothers.