5 Practical Ways to Love Your Postpartum Friend

One thing I wish I had accepted after having my babies is help from people who offered it. I didn't want to be a burden by admitting that I needed help. Whether or not your friend will accept it, make a point to be available for them if they need it. The fact that they feel cared for will mean so much, even if they don't take you up on your offer.

It doesn't need to be obnoxious, but call or text them a couple of times and ask if they need anything. If you are running errands for yourself, offer to pick up something they need. If you have free time, offer to come over and clean for them, or you could offer to watch the baby while they take a nap or get time to themselves. There are so many things that you can do for your friend, and you will be such a blessing by just being available.

Another thing we can do for our friend is intentionally remember to care for them. This can be done in a couple of ways. One way is checking in and asking how they are doing. They will appreciate someone going out of their way to see how they are adjusting.

You can ask your friend how you can be praying for them, and then actually do it. It is so comforting to know that someone is taking time to pray for you. Maybe it is as simple as asking your friend if they want company and coming over to hang out with them. There doesn't have to be anything exciting happening; sometimes it is nice to have someone else around so we aren't alone as a new mom. Many times, people have sat with me for no reason other than to keep me company. Our presence can be such a gift to others; it doesn't have to be complicated to let a friend know they are supported and cared about.

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A great way to love on your friend is to provide them with things they need so they don't have to worry about getting them themselves. As a new mom, I can remember how overwhelmed I was when I had my first baby. There wasn't much time to go to the store and pick up things needed for everyday life.

Organize a meal schedule for your friend so people can cook for them or order food to be delivered. That is such a blessing for a new mom, not worrying about feeding the family. Buy some baby items you know they will need, like diapers and wipes, and drop them off. Hire a cleaner so they can relax in a clean house while caring for their baby. You can even have them give you a list of items they need, and you can run to the store for them. Little things like this mean the world when you are busy with a newborn.

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This is an area I wish I had known more about. After I had my first kid, my emotions were all over the place, and I struggled with postpartum depression. I didn't want anything to do with my baby for the first couple of weeks, and I felt crazy. If I only knew what I know now, I would have done a better job taking care of myself. This is something that I would want all of my friends to know when they have a baby.

Sometimes we need to be encouraged by someone else to care for ourselves. If your friend feels like they are crazy, let them know that it is normal to feel like this after having a baby, and that they can do something about it if they need to. I was so scared to reach out to my doctor for help because I didn't want to admit that I needed it. I wish someone had told me it was okay to ask for help; I think things would have gone a lot differently after having my first child. I needed someone to encourage me to take those steps. Be the one who does this for someone else. It is such a great way to show your friend that you care.

You can also listen to your friend to provide support. Sometimes to feel better, all we need is to feel like we are heard. Things don't always need to be fixed. It is very life-giving when someone just listens and doesn't always offer an opinion.

A great gift you can give a new mom is the gift of rest. Babies do not stick to our schedule, so nighttime can be a hard time. Offer to come over and take care of the baby so your friend can sleep. They will be so grateful for the help.

You could also watch their other kids if your friend has multiple. When I became a mom of 2, getting used to parenting more than one was overwhelming. Then, when I had my third, I was a mom of 3 kids under the age of 5. A family member came and picked up my older two kids and took them overnight for me. It was such a blessing to be able to focus on my newest addition without having to worry about my older ones. If overnight is not an option, you could go to your friend's house for a few hours or take the kids out for a fun activity. The kids will probably love the extra attention they get from you, especially as so much is being given to the new baby.

The time after having a baby is wonderful and overwhelming all at once. I don't know what I would have done without the help of people around me. Women go through a life-altering experience when they have a baby—help is almost always needed. It can be absolutely exhausting trying to manage all of it on your own, and some might not want to ask for help. That's why we need to understand how much of a blessing we can be to our friends experiencing the miracle of having a child.

Don't be afraid to reach out to your friend who just brought their new addition into the world. It might mean so much to them that you tried to be helpful. If we are followers of Jesus, we are called to care for each other, especially those in need. You can take care of another person in many ways, but I think it is especially important to take care of new moms. I have such a soft heart toward other women who have recently become moms. They can use all the help that we can give them. It's just about being willing to reach out and taking the initiative. Most won't ask for the help that they need. It doesn't have to be grand gestures; it can be very simple things we offer to help with. I promise you will not regret helping out a new mom, and I know they will be forever grateful that you took the time to think of them.