4. Aim for Unconditional Support
Slide 4 of 4
“Life stinks,” Julie said to her Mom on the phone, “I don’t know how long we can keep going on unemployment. The mortgage is due and I’m losing control.”
Julie joins the “unexpected mess” club. She, her husband and kids face the same struggles, the same stress and worry as millions of young couples.
And in the middle of dark times, parents’ task is to do all possible to keep the relationships clear, strong and thriving. The world is dark with reasons to be anxious. But if a parent and adult children relationship is strong, it becomes a comforting light of peace.
Much like when they were young, a band-aid and a kiss on their boo would send them back to running and playing again. Similarly, when adult children hurt, they need their parents’ support, genuine and unconditional.
Consider Tom’s mom when he carves a few minutes from his hectic family and business life to call and check up on his mother. Before he could say, "how are you?” her comments blurt out with pessimism dotted with complaining.
She has problems. But she compounds them by failing to acknowledge Tom’s gesture to call. Instead, she voices all that’s wrong in her life.
Stress visits Tom. The conversation is covered with tension. And what could be a pleasant interaction, becomes an unwanted task for him.
Although parents face some serious situations that merit attention, they can still offer the gift of support even when they’re in a valley themselves. The effort is vital because often what we speak either bring us closer to our adult children or prompts them to find excuses not to call.
But when all aim to think of the other first, peace flows with each interaction. And in the end, they value each moment. And ultimately, the family bond becomes the oasis in the desert of the world’s gloom.
The gifts we offer our adult children are ones that will eventually adorn the legacy we leave. They will shine with examples they can follow, with illustrations they will embrace as their own and with sound convictions that will echo long after we’re gone.
There is so much hope for your relationship with your adult child. Just wait and see.
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