Principles of Single Motherhood: Loving the One Who Hurt You
- 2004 13 Oct
In an effort to reach out to single mothers in the Body of Christ, Crosswalk is posting a series of articles by Hope & Help for the Single Mom based on their CD set 21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom. For more information visit: www.hope4singlemoms.com.
"Mom, it's your turn to pray for dad tonight." I turned to look at my nine year old son on his knees with his eyes closed and head bowed ready to pray over his father. Every night we take turns praying for and speaking blessings over my ex-husband. We pray for his salvation, for favor over his life and business, for the Lord to protect and prosper him in all that he does.
This was not how it always was in my home after I became a single mom due to divorce. In fact, it was completely the opposite. I remember the days when all I could talk about was how much I hated him for leaving our family. I would spend hours on the phone at night with other people gossiping and slandering my ex-husband.
Another mistake I made was to put my son in the middle of our conversations. I would ask my son to call his dad and see when he was coming over to pick him up or what the plans were for the weekend his dad had him. If there were things that my ex and I had to discuss about our son, I would talk about those things in front of my son. My conversation always led to an argument with his father and my son was right in the middle of it.
Fortunately, the Holy Spirit spoke to me through His word and I came upon the verse, "I will love those who hurt me, bless those who curse me and do good to those who hate me. It was in that verse that I was broken to forgive and get along with my sons father in every way possible. I made up my mind that I would pray for him, speak blessings over him and build him up to my son and anyone else that I spoke to. I was broken to stop playing games with him in regards to his time with our son and work with his schedule in any way possible so my son could see his dad. I also decided that any thing that needed to be talked about between my ex and I would be done in private, not in front of my son. And that I would take my parental responsibility seriously and handle it myself instead of asking my child to do my job.
The end result has been for my son to see that his family can still be in harmony even though we are not all together. The end result for me is a peaceful heart. I don't know what the end result has been for my ex-husband yet. I pray the ultimate end result is that we all spend eternity together.
Lori Little, A Woman By Design ministry's founder, is the former Director of John C. Maxwell's THRiVE!, Becoming A Woman Of Influence. A major focus of Lori's ministry is the Hope and Help for the Single Mom initiative. Watch for Lori's book Hope and Help for the Single Mom, by Waterbrook Press, in 2005.
21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom offers meaningful messages, helpful advice and loving encouragement for every single mom. To inquire about and order the CD packages, call 1-888-430-HOPE, or visit the website at: www.hope4singlemoms.com.
Dr. Charles Stanley says of the 21 Principles:
"If a single mom will follow these 21 Principles, there is no way for her to fail. She will watch herself grow in her own strength and abilities and become more confident as the leader of her home.
The 21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom is a practical asset for single mothers to apply specific, workable, successful guidelines to her life."