4 Ways to Set Limits on Your Teen’s Screen Time
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- Updated Jun 07, 2023
Summer is here, and with that comes lazy days, and for many of us, that looks like extra screen time for the family. It can be easy to rely on screens as our babysitter and entertainer for our kids once they are back home full-time over the summer months. As parents, we cannot grow weary in doing the good work of parenting (Galatians 6:9), and a vital job we have as parents, especially of older children, is setting limits on screen usage.
There is a huge body of research showing us that smartphones with internet access and social media have serious negative effects on young users, especially teenage girls. At the end of Mary, Surgeon General Vivek Murphy put out a formal warning reporting the effects of social media on children and teen mental health. The bottom line is that the dangers of limitless screen usage for our children are real. There is so much evil lurking just one click away for kids to encounter at any age. The internet is not a respecter of persons.
As parents, it is vital that we don’t take phone and internet access lightly. We have to be diligent in setting parameters that protect our kids from the negative impacts of technology usage. It’s on us to help them learn moderation and set proper boundaries for their lives.
As a parent, knowing the consequences of an activity such as driving without a seatbelt, we make sure that our children do not enter a vehicle without being properly buckled in. Similarly, Christ-following parents also have a responsibility to be informed about the dangers of smartphones and beyond and set limits that will protect our kids.
1. Delay Providing Your Teen a Cell Phone
One solution is to be mindful of when and how you give your child access to devices. More people are pushing back on the idea that kids need smartphones, and more alternatives to stay in touch without using social media or an iPhone are being created. In our home, we recently hooked up a good old house phone using voice-over-internet protocol.
Our kids can call us or friends using an old-school cordless phone that is connected to our modem. If we leave them home alone, they have key phone numbers programmed into the phone, allowing them to get in touch with trusted adults quickly. Since they are not yet driving, there is nowhere else that they can go alone in which there wouldn’t be adults with cell phones around that they could borrow if they need to contact us. Once they have a license to drive, we will provide them with a cell phone, which will still be monitored and limited until they leave our home.
2. Monitor Social Media Usage
Social Media is, whether we like it or not, an integral part of how many of us interact with the world around us. Teens connect with their peers through these platforms, and sometimes the decision to completely ban our kids from using them is not entirely practical. If we are allowing them access to social media platforms, all of their activity must be monitored. All it takes is one inappropriate photo, search, jab from a friend, or more to send your teen down a really negative path. You have to set clear rules for these platforms and be vigilant in enforcing them at all times.
Another great option is convincing your teen’s friends' parents to choose to opt out of social media usage for their children. The reason why it's so hard to completely ban social media from our teens' lives is because everyone is using it. If you can make a pact with your church community, families, and close friends to not let their children on social media, then your child will not suffer from feeling left out when interacting with their peers. We have to start working together to change the norm when it comes to internet usage. With knowledge comes responsibility and as we see how detrimental these apps are to our teens, we have to work together to end the control they have over their lives.
3. Own Fewer Devices
An easy way to help you stay on top of media usage is to limit the number of devices that exist in your home. Recently I gave away all of our children’s tablets because I realized I did not have the bandwidth to monitor all the possible ways my kids could be using them. We were shocked to find that some of our kiddos were searching inappropriate things when we were not paying attention. For me, rather than creating another parental control that would be hard to enforce, I just gave them away.
In our home we have one family computer, one family TV, a switch that is used on the TV, and my husband and I have smartphones. Even just owning those devices feels like a full-time job to manage with our kids. For us simplifying and centralizing technology use helped us be more aware of what our kids were doing online. No devices are allowed in bedrooms, limits are put on how long they can have screen time, and apps like YouTube are only used when another adult is in the room. These rules are not too extreme for your teen! Our teens need us to help monitor their behavior as they work to figure out what kind of person they hope to become.
4. Engage Them in Real Life
One way to keep screens from eating away our joy and time is to keep our teens engaged in real-life activities. It can take effort, research, and sometimes a lot of pushing on our end as parents but keeping our kids active and engaged in our family and community is a huge way to guard them against excessive screen time. Figure out what your teen loves and get them involved!
Help them find jobs to do, enlist them as the neighborhood babysitter, sign them up for sports, ban screen time in their bedrooms so they aren’t tempted to retreat from time spent as a family, go on hikes, trips, adventures, make them go grocery shopping with you, allow them to tutor, lifeguard, volunteer at church, and the list goes on!
Teens are suffering from anxiety and depression at alarming rates because they lack a safe community to connect with. Our teens need people that are invested in them to help them grow into people of character, and that can walk with them when life gets tough. Our kids are lonely because technology has made it too easy to stay indoors, on our devices, where temptation lurks around every corner. Get them outside, in the community, growing their skills, and learning about the beautiful world God has created!
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Tim Robberts
