Christian Singles & Dating

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5 Questions to Ask Before You Start Dating

5 Questions to Ask Before You Start Dating

Getting into the dating world can be exciting.  For most of us, finding the right person to spend our lives with can’t come soon enough.  But in order to do that successfully, you need a lot more than just the will to get out there. You need to be sure you’re prepared for what’s coming and how you will handle it responsibly. How do you know if you’re ready? As yourself these five questions:

1. Do you know what you are looking for?

Knowing what you are looking for isn’t really about finding your “type.” It’s about knowing why you are dating in the first place. Ideally, you wouldn’t be out there unless you were looking for a long-lasting committed relationship. Otherwise, you may mislead others into believing you are looking for something you’re not.  Make sure you’ve answered the real reason you’re venturing into dating so that you can come to the table with an open and honest heart.

2. Have you fully grieved your last relationship?

There’s no point in moving on until you’re ready to move on. But, you have to be honest with yourself. Do you want to start dating to fill a void left by your last relationship? Or, are you honestly ready to spend the time and effort needed to get to know someone new? Moving on before you are really ready isn’t fair to anyone. If you still have issues to work through, make sure you do so. Give yourself a strong start when you do get to that starting line.

3. Have you learned to live on your own?

The strongest relationships exist between two people who are just as strong on their own as they are together. The weakest ones exist between two people when one relies too heavily on the other. This can happen for lots of reasons: loneliness, financial issues, emotional support, etc.  The best reason to want a relationship is so that you can enhance your life by sharing it with someone you care about. If you aren’t fulfilled as your own person, you aren’t offering your best self to another.

4. Do you have time and space?

Is there space in your life for someone else and the time commitment it takes to get to know them? If you are at a point in your education, career, single parenting, or any other life-consuming task that doesn’t allow you the proper time and room for another person, you should seriously consider that before venturing out. Finding someone amazing and then discovering you aren’t available enough for them can cause a relationship with a lot of potential to end way before it’s time.

5. Have you prepared your heart?

Dating can go one of two ways: You can spend a lot of time looking for the right person without much success, or you can find exactly what you are looking for.  Both take a lot out of us emotionally and we must be ready for either before we start. Prepare your heart ahead of time, deciding how you will handle yourself if things don’t work out, how you will treat others, and strategies to guard your heart and emotions so that you don’t get hurt or hurt others in the process.

It seems pretty easy, just getting back out there, doesn’t it? But, if you want to really find what you are looking for a little preparation and thought goes a long way to reaching that. Make sure you are covering these key questions in your life, and you are sure to start off strong. Here’s wishing you the best in your search!


Laura Polk is a writer, speaker, and textile designer residing in North Carolina with her three children. Since becoming a single mom, her passion to minister to this group has led her to encourage successful single mom living through The Christian Single Mom on Facebook. Follow her journey through her blog or get a glimpse into her quirky thoughts and inspirations for design and writing on Pinterest.

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Publication date: February 3, 2017