Christian Singles & Dating

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10 Reasons You Don't Need a ‘Ring by Spring’

10 Reasons You Don't Need a ‘Ring by Spring’

At Taylor University, an institution from which I recently graduated, a certain phenomenon overtakes the campus known as “ring by spring.”

In essence, the seniors about to graduate who do not yet have a significant other scramble to try and meet the man or woman God has for them through last-minute coffee dates, defining-the-relationship talks, and very strong dropping of hints that they want someone to tie the knot.

Maybe you don’t attend a Christian college or haven’t for years or decades, but this phenomenon can take over the single Christian world in any season of life.

We see yet another friend post an engagement announcement on Facebook or see someone’s wedding photos on Instagram, and sometimes feel as though we’re missing out.

Those feelings can naturally propel us into our own version of a college senior scrambling to find their “ring by spring.”

The following 10 points might give you some reasons to take your time and be content with your season of singleness instead of rushing to tie the knot.

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  • 1. God Says to Avoid Unequal Yoking

    1. God Says to Avoid Unequal Yoking

    In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul warns against being unequally yoked. In essence, the encouragement is to avoid relationships with unbelievers.

    Sometimes, waiting for the man or woman God intends for our lives can take a lot longer than we expected. We might feel a strong temptation to take on a first-come first-serve mindset, diving for the first relationship opportunity that comes along.

    Impatience can lead to painful relationships. If God is not at the center of a marriage, there might be a lot of hurt, conflict, and possibly divorce down the road.

    Photo Credit: Pexels

  • 2. Marriage Won’t Fix Your Problems

    2. Marriage Won’t Fix Your Problems

    As someone who has not said, “I do,” I do not pretend to know what being in a marriage is like.

    I do know, from the advice of several mature, married Christians, that marriage comes with its own hardships.

    Movies and even some Christian media can portray marriage as the fix-all to the troubles each person brings into the relationship.

    Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. In some ways, marriage can amplify those flaws or reopen those wounds.

    Paul mentions that those who marry do face many troubles (1 Corinthians 7:28). This should not discourage you from pursuing a marriage if you feel God calling you to do so. However, we should enter these relationships knowing that problems won’t simply vanish.

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  • 3. You Have Room to Plan and Choose

    3. You Have Room to Plan and Choose

    I love my sister. She and her husband have a great relationship.

    But I’ve noticed they have to check in with each other for any decision. From purchasing small furniture for decoration pieces to scheduling times to work out at the gym—they have to inform the other about their plans and ensure that the other approves.

    Singleness comes with a bit more wiggle room to operate on one’s own schedule. For instance, if you feel called to help with a local ministry on Wednesday nights, you won’t have to worry about another person’s schedule hindering that.

    4. You Have More Time for Ministry

    Paul even takes notice that those who have the gift of singleness have more time to dedicate themselves to ministry (1 Corinthians 7:32-33).

    Although, yes, a married couple can do great work for the kingdom of God (as we see in the cases of pastors and their spouses), they will have to invest time in their relationship that won’t be free for ministry.

    A single person has fewer restrictions on pursuing the kingdom work.

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  • 5. You Have Opportunities to Minister to Other Singles

    5. You Have Opportunities to Minister to Other Singles

    If you look at any book of the Bible, each has a specific audience in mind. Luke, a Gentile, wrote to the Gentiles. Paul, a Roman citizen, wrote to the Romans.

    We tend to listen to those who share our life experiences rather than those who have moved on to a different season in life or who have never undergone our particular season.

    When my parents divorced, I didn’t really want to hear the advice of my friends who had parents who were still together. But I yearned to speak with those who had divorced parents.

    The same works for those in your season. Married couples seek advice from other married couples. Singles should seek advice from singles who are mature in their faith.

    You have a chance to share the gospel with single seekers or those who struggle with singleness.

    Photo Credit: Pexels/Rawpixel

  • 6. Marriage Can Become an Idol

    6. Marriage Can Become an Idol

    One might think of idolatry as the stone or golden images different cultures worshipped, especially in the Old Testament.

    But idolatry of marriage can also attempt to take the throne in the hearts of single Christians. Idolatry simply means anything that attempts to usurp the kingdom of your heart.

    Hollywood can make romantic relationships seem vital. In movies, a hero or heroine seems almost incomplete without a significant other.

    When we place marriage and relationships on a pedestal, we forget their original intent (to mirror the relationship of God with his people) and run the risk of using them to fill the God-shaped hole in our lives. In the end, like all idols, they will disappoint us.

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  • 7. You Have Hope for Eternal Marriage with God

    7. You Have Hope for Eternal Marriage with God

    I think we often forget that earthly marriage does not last forever. That marital vows include the words, “till death do us part.”

    Even if God’s plan for our lives does not include an earthly marriage, we do get to participate in a heavenly one. John describes this marriage between ourselves (the church) and God in Revelation 19:6-9. This marriage does not end in divorce, it does not amplify past hurts (as we are made perfect in Jesus in heaven), and it does not disappoint.

    Photo Credit: GettyImages/hsiangwentung

  • 8. You Are Growing in Patience

    8. You Are Growing in Patience

    I struggle with patience—a lot. As someone with a great deal of ambitions and dreams, I see the finish line and want it to be far closer than it appears.

    I think I can approach the yearning for a marriage with the same mindset. I often forget the first part of the love passage in 1 Corinthians 13:4: “Love is patient.”

    I forget that often, some of the greatest moments of life involve a great deal of waiting. And even if a relationship with a significant other does not await me as I run toward that finish line, I know God still has incredible things in store.

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  • 9. Singleness Is a Gift

    9. Singleness Is a Gift

    One of my biggest frustrations at Taylor University came from the fact that most of my peers, sometimes myself included, viewed singleness as a curse instead of a gift. Even Jesus indicated benefits of singleness over marriage (Matthew 19:8-12).

    We need to perceive singleness as a gift, not a state of limbo before we reach completeness with a partner. Not only does it come with benefits of freedom and time, but it does not contain the same hardships that marriage brings.

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  • 10. You Have a Connection with Biblical Singles and Saints

    10. You Have a Connection with Biblical Singles and Saints

    By saints, in this context, I mean patriarchs in the Bible who lived a life of singleness.

    I have included a brief list of single saints, and some highlights:

    Daniel: attained high positions in the Babylonian and Persian kingdoms and was beloved by kings.

    Paul: wrote a significant portion of the New Testament and traveled throughout the world preaching the gospel.

    John the Baptist: Jesus’ cousin who received incredibly high praise from Jesus in Matthew 11:11.

    Jesus: never married, which gave him time to devote His life to ministry and His redeeming work on the cross.

    Scripture contains several other examples, but this short list can remind us that although a ring may not come this spring, or the next, or 10 years from now, God can still move through us in incredible ways.

    Hope Bolinger is a literary agent at C.Y.L.E. and a recent graduate of Taylor University's professional writing program. More than 300 of her works have been featured in various publications ranging from Writer's Digest to Keys for Kids. She has worked for various publishing companies, magazines, newspapers, and literary agencies and has edited the work of authors such as Jerry B. Jenkins and Michelle Medlock Adams. Her column "Hope's Hacks," tips and tricks to avoid writer's block, reaches 2,700+ readers weekly and is featured monthly on Cyle Young's blog, which receives 63,000+ monthly hits. Her modern-day-Daniel story, Blaze, (Illuminate YA) comes out June 3, and is up for preorder now. Find out more about her here

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