10 Things Singles Can Focus on Other Than a Relationship
Focus is defined as the center of interest or an activity. It requires intentionally focusing on a single task, point, or goal without distractions. It means adjusting one's vision, habits, and state of mind to create a shift or achieve clarity and purpose in one's life. For singles, the primary focus in life for many is dating relationships with the end goal of marriage. For centuries, this has been the focus of single believers because church culture and societal expectations have placed marriage on a pedestal. This taught singles to value marriage over singleness, leading them to focus primarily on relationships. We also all have a natural desire for companionship as humans. While this is normal, it should not be the primary focus of one’s existence.
So then, what should single believers focus on? As you’ve previously read, focus requires concentration on a single task to create specific change one step at a time. So, for the single Christians who primarily focus on relationships, it’s time to shift that focus to live, love, thrive, and grow in singleness, discipleship, and the purpose-driven life God has called them to. A single Christian's focus should be on discovering singleness the way God designed it: filled with seasons of growth, discovery, and understanding. If you’re an unmarried believer who has been laser-focused on relationships and marriage, take a look at the list below to find out how to live your single seasons to the fullest.
1. Their Relationship with God
1. Their Relationship with God
Singles, if you’re going to focus on any relationship, it should be the one you have with God. Your relationship with God is the most important one you’ll have. He is the source and supplier of everything you need. He sees your heart, knows and understands your longings, and will meet you right where you are in your singleness. God designed every season of singleness for your good and His glory, so it’s important that you nurture your partnership with Him. As you focus on your relationship with God, take some time to identify what area of the relationship needs growth. For instance, you can focus on strengthening your faith in God, meditating on His Word, or listening for His voice when He speaks to your heart. Whatever you decide, be sure it brings you closer to God than ever before.
2. Their Relationship with Singleness
Many singles struggle with singleness because they don’t have a relationship with it. Having a relationship with singleness means focusing on what it is, the truth of what it means, and appreciating every season of it. It means shifting your mindset towards the purpose of singleness and defining it for yourself. Focusing on fostering a relationship with singleness will change the way you view and value it. It will also change your drive for marriage and the way you view romantic relationships.
3. Focus on Redefining Singleness
3. Focus on Redefining Singleness
For decades, singleness has been defined in many misleading ways. It’s often said, or implied, that singleness is a holding room for marriage. It is considered a linear season of loneliness that should be filled with dating and seeking marriage. These definitions have skewed the perception of the gift of singleness to the point that many unmarried believers have fallen prey to these assumptions. Singleness carries such a negative connotation because it is seen as a problem to be solved; thus, it is often defined as such.
So, singles, I challenge you to redefine singleness for yourself based on biblical principles and standards, with God’s perspective. Take some time to identify and reflect on what God says about singleness and why He created this gift. Rebuild your definition of singleness based on biblical truths, not relational circumstances.
4. Their God-Given Purpose
God has gifted every believer with a purpose. Singles, as you continue on your path of discipleship, focus on the things, ministry work, God has placed in your heart and physically before you. Many singles believe that their sole purpose in life is to be married. It is not. You have specific work to do that God created for you, so it’s time to focus on that and move as you are led.
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5. Focus on Your Mental Health
5. Focus on Your Mental Health
The mental health of singles in the church is often overlooked. From feelings of internal and external loneliness, grieving lost loves, or social isolation from fellow congregants, singles silently struggle with mental and emotional stability in the church. These silent struggles often lead to anxiety, depression, and a shift in their faith. Singles, take some to focus on your mental health, in and out of your varying houses of worship. Foster strong relationships with people who understand your gift of singleness and know how to support it, and guard your heart against comparison of your single journey with someone else’s. Pray and ask God to capture your thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:5 reminds us to recognize thoughts that are ungodly or anxious regarding singleness, refuse to entertain those thoughts, and replace them with Scriptures that affirm your singleness and God’s promises.
6. Focus on Your Spiritual Health
Spiritual health is important for all believers. It encompasses a healthy relationship with God, spiritual transformation, love for others, and obedience to God’s will for your life. It involves guarding your heart, relying on God constantly, and nurturing your soul with God’s Word. Singles, take some time each day to feed your spirit with God’s Word so your heart and spirit are filled with His love and promises for you.
7. Learn Biblical Intimacy and Theological Truths about Singleness
7. Learn Biblical Intimacy and Theological Truths about Singleness
Biblical truths about singleness are often overlooked in churches. While many church leaders and congregations may not realize this, it is true. Take time to learn biblical truths about singleness and develop an intimate relationship with it. This can be done by identifying Scriptures that speak to your mind, body, and spirit about singleness. Immerse yourself in biblical teachings that discuss God’s plan for singleness rather than listening to others about it. Doing this will help you further understand the blessing of this time in your life.
8. Focus on Understanding Your Sexual Desires
Sexual desires are built inside every believer. They are natural feelings that require attention and guidance in managing them according to God’s purpose for them. More often than not, singles are simply told to remain abstinent until marriage or while dating, but never taught how to acknowledge and accept their sexual desires. Singles. I challenge you to begin taking steps towards understanding your sexual desires as God created them and how you can live wholly and holily with them. One way to do this is to acknowledge that your desires are God-given and that they are a blessing.
9. Re-Examine Loneliness
9. Re-Examine Loneliness
Loneliness is often synonymous with singleness simply because of the absence of a partner. It is often seen as a bitter part of life where depression can sink in and take over. However, loneliness can be an amazing time of life if it is reexamined. Singles, take some time to reframe your thoughts on loneliness. Shift them to viewing it as a period in life where you can hear God’s voice clearly, and cultivate an intimate relationship with God and yourself. Take time to embrace self-discovery, practice mindfulness, and watch how loneliness soon becomes a state of peaceful solitude.
10. Focus on the Season of Singleness They Are In
Singleness is filled with many seasons. It is a multifaceted time of life where God fills each season with blessings and purpose. Singles, take some time to focus on the season of singleness you’re in and what God wants you to learn from it. Sit in silence and ask God what season of singleness He has you in. Take some time to listen to His voice, and ask Him for directions on how He wants you to live out this season before He transitions you to the next one.
Singles, as you continue your journey through life and discipleship, understand that there is more to focus on in your single life than a relationship. While desiring marriage and romantic relationships cannot be ignored, they should not constantly fill your mind. Make a list of things you will focus on during this season of singleness and work on one thing at a time. God did not place you on earth to seek marriage, but He placed you here for His glory, to build His kingdom, and to focus on what He has ordained for you to do. It is my sincere prayer that your focus shifts to things above concerning your singleness so that you can live fully and on purpose.
Related:
Is it a Sin to Explore Your Body?
5 Inspiring Bible Verses and Prayers for the Single Christian
7 Ways for Singles to Discover Their Purpose
Originally published March 11, 2026.
