Grieving on Labor Day? Why Holidays Can Make Loss Feel Harder
Labor Day is usually associated with cookouts, family gatherings, and a welcome day away from work. But when you’re grieving the loss of someone you love, Labor Day can feel surprisingly painful. A holiday that once meant relaxation or time together can instead make an empty chair, a missing voice, or a changed family tradition impossible to ignore.
Why Labor Day Can Be Difficult When You’re Grieving
Grief does not follow the calendar, and difficult holidays are not limited to Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even a three-day weekend can disrupt the routines that help us get through ordinary days. When work, school, errands, and other responsibilities pause, we may suddenly have more time to feel the absence of someone who was once part of those familiar moments.
If Labor Day is difficult while you’re grieving, you do not have to force yourself to celebrate as though nothing has changed. Understanding why holidays can intensify grief, recognizing healthy ways to process your emotions, and reaching out for support can help you walk through the weekend with greater care. Here are some practical ways to cope with grief this Labor Day and resources that may help along the way.
How Holidays Disrupt Rhythm and Routine
When most people think of holidays that are difficult for those who are grieving, they think of major holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's. However, any holiday that changes the general rhythm and routine of a typical week can make it more challenging for a person to distract himself or herself from the loss of a loved one.
The Labor Day Holiday tends to interrupt a person's routine, though under normal circumstances, it's likely a welcome interruption for those who get paid time off of work. But for those who have lost a loved one, Labor Day can actually be a difficult holiday. Family gets together for a barbecue or other traditions, and the absence of a loved one at the gathering can be a painful reminder of the change that has taken place.
About 2.5 million people in the United States pass away every year, according to Psychiatric Times. On the average, there are five bereaved people for each loss. Over half of American women will experience the loss of their husband by the time they reach the age of 65, and 10 percent of American men will be widowed by that same age.
Responses to the Pain of Grief
There are both healthy and unhealthy ways people react to the loss of a loved one. Some of the unhealthy ways in which people may act out could include alcoholic binges or other drug binges, overeating (or not eating at all to the point of becoming anorexic), grief shopping, self-harm (such as cutting, burning, or scratching), promiscuity, and more. The assistance of a counselor should definitely be sought out to overcome unhealthy reactions and find healthy ways to process grief, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
Healthy Ways to Cope with Grief
Some healthy ways that grief can be processed include exercise such as walking, hiking, cycling, dancing, or some form of exercise a person finds enjoyable. Other helpful choices include:
- Journaling
- Watching or reading humorous material
- Making healthy dietary choices
- Getting adequate sleep
- Joining a support group and/or seeing a counselor
Because grief is a response to an injury that's emotional in nature rather than a physical injury (such as a broken arm), the healing process is different, and the amount of time it takes to walk through it varies from person to person. There's a fairly consistent amount of measurable time for when a broken bone heals. A person going through the grieving process could begin to experience healing in as little as a few months, but it can also take a year or more, according to WebMD. There are many variables that can impact the process, such as how close a person was to the loved one who passed away, age, the nature of how a loved one passes away, and more.
Grief Support and Resources That Can Help
Some resources that may be helpful in processing grief include Healing is a Choice, by Steve Arterburn, connecting with a support group through GriefShare.org, Overcoming Grief and Loneliness audio download by Joyce Meyer, and Focus on the Family grief resources.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/silverkblack
Originally published August 27, 2024.
