5 Ways to Care for Yourself When a Loved One Has Alzheimer's
My grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimer's when I was six years old. I didn't understand much about Alzheimer's except that my grandpa didn't seem to be himself anymore. He used to always play with my sisters and me, go scootering, ride our bikes, and paint with us, but soon he became quiet and not responsive to anyone or anything around him. As a kid, I didn't have the words to describe what was happening; however, it made me feel as though I was losing one of my best friends.
My mom showed up at school one day to pick me up with my sister, and she was in a frenzy. Grandpa had wandered off again, and the police couldn't find him. My mom said we were going to get in the car and search until we could find him. On that day, I saw my mom afraid like I had never seen in my life. In hindsight, it is probably because she knew her dad was facing Alzheimer's and he would never be the same again.
Soon after, my mom had to place my grandpa in a memory care facility, which is where he stayed for the rest of his life. My mom and dad brought us to this memory care unit every weekend, and we would visit with my grandpa. It was sorrowful, depressing, and painful. My grandpa forgot who we were, but was pleased that somebody had come to sit with him and talk.
When a loved one has Alzheimer's, it can be hard to disclose our own needs. After all, our loved one is the one who is suffering, and we need to do all we can to help. While this is true, we also need to understand that our own needs are important. This is why we also need to take care of ourselves in order to better help our loved one who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
Here are five ways to care for yourself when a loved one has Alzheimer's:
1. Spend Time with Friends
When my grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, my mom tried to keep our home life as normal as possible. My dad took us to school and we were to focus on our studies. My mom also encouraged us to spend time with friends and to enjoy our days rather than fearing what might happen. This is something that adults need to do as well. It does us no good to think we can carry so much, only to crumble underneath the weight.
We have to take time to care for ourselves and spend time with those who care about us. They can be people of support or people who can help us take a break from the anxieties of life. Think about a person in your life who fits this description and reach out to them today.
If a loved one has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's in your own life, you understand the mental and physical toll it can take on you. It is terrible to see your loved one degrading rapidly. Talk with a friend and spend a weekend with them if you can. Allow them to help you escape for a little bit in order for you to be the best form of support to your loved one when you return.
2. Do a Fun Activity to Get Your Mind Off Things
Sometimes we will feel guilty for having fun when our loved one is struggling with a health problem, such as Alzheimer's, but we have to remember that our loved one doesn't want us to be downtrodden and miserable all the time. They would want us to be happy and to have fun. This is why we should take time to do a fun activity in order to get our minds off things. Maybe a quick 30-minute walk with your favorite songs or reading a few chapters in your book is what you need today.
Engaging in a fun activity will help calm your stress levels and make you feel more prepared when you have to face the more challenging aspects of the day, such as going to doctor appointments or talking with insurance companies. Take time to do something that brings you joy, and it will help enhance your well-being. If you keep going without any self-care, you will eventually burn out, and it will be even harder to care for your loved one with Alzheimer's.
By taking care of yourself, you will be taking care of them. Don't beat yourself into the ground or endlessly research things on the Internet—it will not do any good. Trust God with what is happening and know that He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). Life might get harder before it gets better, but God is still in control, and He will right all wrongs one day.
3. Ensure You Are Eating Healthy and Getting Enough Exercise
Caring for yourself after a loved one has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's can be a challenge all in itself. However, we don't need to bog ourselves down with unhealthy habits. Yes, it can be easy to get a drive-thru meal when we are returning from the memory care unit, but it is more beneficial to cook a healthy meal and spend meal times around friends and family. Rather than trying to isolate yourself, try to show up and it will help you in the long run.
Prepare healthy meals at the start of the week, and you will be ready for the week ahead. Instead of grabbing something out of convenience, you will be reheating a healthy meal that will help your own mental and physical well-being. This alone can help you feel better and more able to face the stressors of taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer's. By helping yourself in this way, you will be investing in your own health as well as ensuring you will be around to help your loved one for a long time.
Exercise often gets a bad rep, but it is very important. Going for a 30-minute run or bike ride can be a great addition to your daily routine. This will help you unwind and feel more in control of your life. Getting some endorphins going will calm your nerves and ensure you are being the best support possible for your loved one who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Never underestimate how much exercise can benefit you in your daily life, both mentally and physically.
4. Seek Out Therapy
Therapy is often a taboo word in modern day, but it shouldn't be. It should be a word that is lifted up in society and encouraged within Christian communities. When a loved one has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, it is important to seek out therapy and get the support that you need. Through therapy, the therapist will be able to help you work through any sorrows, pains, or troubles.
Rather than allowing you to sink into your worries or fears, your therapist will give you the skills to face them and overcome them. It is important to note that when you choose a therapist, it can either be a Christian therapist or a secular therapist. Both have their pros and both have their cons. Unfortunately, finding a Christian therapist is like finding a needle in a haystack; therefore, it might be more beneficial to seek out a therapist in your area who specializes in trauma, grief, or depression.
Therapy has the ability to change your life, and even if your therapist isn't Christian, you can still include God in your sessions. Talk about Him and how much He has helped you through this journey. Most therapists are open to listening and will allow you to work through matters in the way you would like, such as praying before and after sessions, including God in your sessions, and talking about Him openly. Consider seeking out therapy, and it will help you tremendously to face whatever is still to come.
5. Include God in Every Aspect of This Painful Time
Throughout this difficult time, we need to keep our eyes focused on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). If we are going to get through this difficult time and continue to foster a heart of hope, we are going to have to turn to God. God is not burdened by our troubles, nor is He bothered when we cry out to Him day and night. God wants us to talk with Him, to lean on Him, and to find shelter in His wings (Psalm 91:4-6).
Don't push God away at this time. Instead, we need to keep our eyes focused on Him and continue to push forward. Sadly, times might keep getting harder, but we know God is with us, and this is the greatest blessing of all. Even though it might feel like we can't handle the weight of everything, God will hold us up every time. Trust in Him and give this painful time over to Him.
Be honest with your struggles to God and cast your anxieties on Him (1 Peter 5:7). God cares about every worry you have, and He desires to fill your heart with comfort. By talking with God and keeping Him at the center of your life, you will be given strength. Trust your loved one in the arms of the Creator and know that He has everything under control.
Related Resource: HeroGeneration: A New Ally for Families Facing Alzheimer’s and Aging Transitions
In this episode of Alzheimer's Speaks, Lori La Bey talks with Nicole àBeckett, the founder and CEO of HeroGeneration, which is a platform that empowers caregivers navigating life’s toughest transitions. Drawing from her personal caregiving journey, Nicole's mission is to support the sandwich generation with practical tools, guidance, and community. Listen to their conversation by clicking the play button below! If your loved one is struggling with Alzheimer's, listen to all of our episodes here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/alzheimers-speaks/id986940432
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/dragana991
Originally published August 07, 2025.
