What Is the One Spiritual Discipline We All Avoid?
If you’ve been involved in a local church, you’ve heard the sermons or teachings on spiritual disciplines. We should read the Bible, pray, serve in fellowship, give money, and more. Messages encourage us to invest our time and money into these activities.
Yet we struggle to do them. Our lives get too busy (we think) or we don’t see the point. We might gravitate to a few because of our personality, but to engage in such a long list of disciplines can overwhelm us.
One spiritual discipline stands out as something most people avoid. All of them prove counter-cultural to some degree, but modern Americans avoid one more than all the others.
Silence and solitude.
Some might not even know this is a spiritual discipline. And if we do, it becomes difficult to practice. Or we feel it’s only for the uber spiritual – someone like a monk. But it’s for everyone.
First, we should discuss the general purpose for all the spiritual disciplines.
What Is the Purpose of Spiritual Disciplines?
Spiritual disciplines don’t work as an end in and of themselves. They act as a bridge to intentionally grow in our relationship with God. These disciplines provide space and attention to focus on God, listen to his voice, and engage with his truth.
Spiritual growth doesn’t happen automatically. The Bible tells us to pursue godliness (1 Timothy 4:7). Spiritual disciplines give us proven means to act like the unseen is real, directing our attention toward God and to build our faith.
Throughout church history, Christians have practiced key spiritual disciplines. The major ones are:
- Prayer
- Meditation on Scripture and truth
- Bible study
- Fasting
- Praise
- Silence and solitude
- Confession
- Service
- Generosity or giving
- Fellowship with other believers
- Simplicity and self-denial
Each discipline helps us act and think like the unseen is more real than what we see. Prayer engages with God in conversation and admits only he has the power to change things, not anything of this world. We treat Scripture as authoritative because it was “God-breathed,” inspired by him. Fasting says we get sustenance from God’s Word, not food alone. Fellowshipping with other believers declares we all have the same Father, and we gather like a heavenly family.
The disciplines themselves aren’t the goal. They aren’t spiritual obligations to make us more righteous. We don’t practice them to prove our devotion or earn anything.
Their real purpose is to help us engage with the Spirit of God. Through these practices, we choose to slow down, listen, and find awareness of God’s presence. Spiritual disciplines train our hearts to understand that the unseen reality of God is more real and permanent than the world we see around us (2 Corinthians 4:18).
It’s essential to practice the disciplines in this way. When we do, the Holy Spirit reshapes our inner lives and transforms our minds, desires, attitudes, and motivations. Consistent practice over time produces Christlike character in us, the fruit of the Spirit flowing out of us. God’s character in and through us is the goal.
Therefore, spiritual disciplines are the tools to create space for God to work. For this reason, we should take each one seriously, since they each have their place. And we may avoid some for our own reasons, yet one seems to get dismissed more than the rest.
Why Do We Avoid Silence and Solitude?
Many of us in the Western cultures struggle to practice the discipline of silence and solitude. Prayer, Bible study, and service often get highlighted and outright included in worship gatherings. Have you ever been in a worship service where you practiced silence and solitude? I’ve been around the church for a long time, and it’s only happened once or twice. Usually it was initiated by God in a move of his Spirit.
Modern culture trains us to avoid stillness. Instead, the digital age fills every quiet moment with noise, activity, and constant entertainment and stimulation.
Silence and solitude make us stop. Stop doing. Stop producing or consuming or entertaining ourselves. Our society encourages constant engagement — scrolling through our phones, streaming entertainment, or filling schedules with activities. Even in our rest, we surround ourselves with distraction, mostly peppered with ads.
It shouldn’t be a wonder that people today experience a record amount of anxiety and depression. We don’t ever have true quiet.
Interestingly, some might see solitude as a punishment. We give kids “timeout” when they misbehave. In prison, we put the worst ones in solitude. But God doesn’t call us to solitude and quiet to punish us. On the contrary, it’s because he loves us deeply. He’s calling us to be with him, alone.
In silence and solitude, we’re left with only ourselves and God. It unnerves us. But that’s what a good discipline will do, challenge our hearts and minds to go against the world and lean into the unseen.
Consumer culture further teaches us to measure value by what we do or what we’ve produced. We feel pressure to be busy and accomplish tasks. Silence and solitude feels like we’re doing nothing, appearing unproductive, like sitting quietly before God is wasted time compared to a completed task.
Technology allows us to fill every moment, never processing our feelings or thoughts. Influencers and algorithms tell us what to feel and think. Waiting in line or sitting in a car, we don’t get bored anymore.
When silence and solitude happen, we feel restless and exposed. Our own thoughts surface, and we realize the conflict within us. Removing distractions, we have to face our fears and anxieties. No one likes to do this, but it’s exactly why we need it. Silence and solitude create space for God to speak to our hearts.
Tragically, while we avoid silence and solitude the most, in our current culture, we need this discipline more than ever.
What Does the Bible Say about Silence and Solitude?
The most famous passage about the discipline of silence and solitude says, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). In context, the writer addresses the threat of other nations, their violence, the enemies of Israel. His solution? Quit striving and recognize God’s authority and peace, his promise that he will be proven God.
Psalm 62:1 shows this position of quiet trust. “Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.” Ecclesiastes 5:2 encourages us to not be so quick to talk to God, making sure we wait and listen. “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.”
The Bible also gives us narratives showing the power of solitude. With Elijah, after a time of fear, the prophet runs to Mount Horeb. There he experiences wind, an earthquake, and fire, but even though God sent those things, the Lord doesn’t speak through them. Instead, God truly reveals himself through a still, small voice, like a whisper (1 Kings 19). Elijah must be quiet and listen to hear God’s voice.
For our ultimate example, Jesus often withdrew from the large crowds into lonely places to pray (Luke 5:16). Before choosing the twelve disciples, Jesus spent an entire night alone in prayer (Luke 6:12). Further, Christ taught us to do the same, seeking private places when we pray. In Matthew 6:6, he instructs us to go into a room, close the door, and pray to the Father in secret.
What Are the Benefits of Silence and Solitude?
When we intentionally pull away to be silent and still before God, silence and solitude aren’t emptiness or waste, but a key way to become like Christ. And in our modern culture, silence and solitude acts as rebellion for heaven.
To begin with, stepping away from the noise and activity helps slow down the pace of life and help align our hearts and minds to God’s truth. The busyness of life lies to us, telling us what we do or earn or what we are is never enough. Achievement and constant activity create stress, not peace or rest. Stress makes us sick.
The first day Adam and Eve knew was rest. God didn’t need rest; these new humans needed to understand the work belonged to God, and they joined him in it. They started from rest. They worked from rest, not to attain it. The curse flipped this, having them work to get rest. Intentional silence and solitude reminds us of God’s original design for us, restored in Christ, the curse broken.
In Christ, peace passes our understanding. Rest happens more than just taking a day off. God wants us to act from being, as he does. He loves because he is love. The Father wants to teach us to fight from a finished, eternal reality. We fight from a victory he’s already won. We live from his presence.
Silence and solitude forces us to be humble and acknowledge the simple worth of his presence. His intimacy, sitting at his feet, is enough. Stillness helps us shift our focus away from constant activity to the character and power of God.
Our fears, anxieties, weaknesses, and more will be exposed in the process, brought to light as we allow our hearts and minds to process. The Bible tells us to have God search our hearts honestly. “Search me, God, and know my heart … see if there is any offensive way in me” (Psalm 139:23-24). In the quiet, God’s voice addresses each fear with his truth and love, his hope and peace.
Finally, when we step away from constant activity, sitting at Jesus’ feet alone and listening, we realize our value doesn’t come from what we do. He died for us even before we knew him. He already loves us. He is for us.
What Are Some Practical Ways We Can Begin Participating in Silence and Solitude?
The first suggestion is to start small, especially if you’ve never done it before. Trying to do an hour of stillness in solitude can discourage you.
Start with five or ten minutes of intentional silence. Turn off phones, music, everything. Sit quietly before God, acknowledge his presence in your heart, and simply listen. Perhaps you can set a timer for five minutes. A brief time will train your heart and mind to slow down and acknowledge God is near and in control.
Make sure to find a quiet place, as Jesus withdrew to a solitary location. Find a quiet room, a porch, a park, or somewhere with minimal interruptions. A consistent place might help train the mind to associate being still and alone with an environment.
Combine solitude and silence with other disciplines. Spend the five minutes in silence before reading the Bible, praying, or meditating on a verse or idea about God. Remember, part of silence and solitude is intentionally focusing on God and listening to him. We don’t just sit and let any thoughts happen. That’s how the enemy gets involved. Purposefully engage with the Father.
You can practice intentional pauses throughout the day, too. Take a minute every hour to be alone and silent, turning attention toward God. You’ll be surprised how long the minute can feel, yet also surprised at how much more peace you’ll feel throughout the day.
Placing boundaries on technology can make a big difference. Turn off notifications or set aside certain times without any screens. This makes it easier to sit and listen to the Spirit.
Finally, if you fail a few times, don’t quiet. In the beginning, it might be difficult to block out all distractions, but this experience is normal. Don’t let it discourage you. Like any discipline, physical or spiritual, you won’t start an expert. But over time, the heart becomes more comfortable with stillness.
And you know what? Eventually, you’ll long for those times to be reminded of your value, of a Father who loves you enough to sit with you and calm your fears.
Peace.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Klaus Vedfelt
Originally published June 17, 2026.
