Seven The Generous Community

“He sounds pretty desperate,” she said, her face looking very concerned.

I told her I would take it.

“Can I help you?” I asked the person on the other end of the phone.

“Yes, please. Pastor, I need your help. I have not eaten in three days. Can you please give me some money to eat?”

“No, I cannot give you money,” I said, “but I can take you to a place and pay for some food for you.”

He seemed truly grateful. I asked where he was and told him I would be there in ten minutes. He was not in a safe part of town, but it was still light outside, a little after six in the evening. I must be honest: I was dreading going to help this man. I was scared about going to that part of town by myself, picking up a stranger and possibly being exploited. It had been a long day, and I just wanted to go home, take off my shoes and watch television. Something in me pulled me along, though, and I decided not to let him down, whoever he was.

Seeing a destitute/homeless person panhandling isn’t unusual for most of us, sadly, but journal about a time you especially recall. What stood out to you? What thoughts were you weighing as you decided whether to give?

As I drove, I thought about all of the times I had been ripped off by people who called or came to the church saying they needed money, all with sad and sympathy-inducing stories. After being exploited a few times by people who took my money and used it for something other than what they said they needed, I became jaded. That is why I told the young man on the phone that I would take him to dinner and not just hand him money.

When I picked him up he was scruffy and skinny, and he looked a little sick. He did not smell very good, either. We went to a buffet restaurant, and he ate enough to feed a small army. I noticed he had a slight German accent, though he did not speak much. He was practically inhaling his food. On the drive back he told me he had been in America for a couple of months staying with some friends, but he had worn out his welcome and had hitchhiked, ending up in Wichita.

After dinner I drove him back to the discount hotel where he was staying. When he got out, he thanked me for the meal. He asked me for my name and the church’s name, wrote them down, and after a handshake got out of the car with a very full belly. I drove home with mixed feelings. On one hand I was feeling good, but on the other hand I was still wondering if I had done the right thing. Was I part of some scam? Surely taking a very hungry person to dinner can only be a good thing. But what if he had a bag of money inside of his room and was just using me? Or what if he had money and used it to buy drugs? I felt very unsettled about the matter. I decided to let it go and trust God. Still, I went to bed that night confused about the right and the wrong in these situations.

Three False Narratives:
Judgment, Scarcity and Entitlement

Truth be told, I did not want to help this young man because of my prejudice. He was from another country, he was dirty and smelly, and he had been staying in a bad part of town, all of which meant I could stereotype him, giving me a clear excuse not to be generous. Yes, I did help this young man, but many other times I refused to help someone in need. I have since discovered that I refused to help because I held three narratives that, when combined, allowed me to turn from those in need without guilt: a judgmental narrative, an entitlement narrative and a scarcity narrative. When they are all adopted (and they usually are), the person living by these narratives will almost never become a generous person.

God helps those who help themselves. The first narrative is well known: “God helps those who help themselves.” Many people actually believe this is from the Bible. It is not. It is from an edition of Poor Richard’s Almanac, written by Ben Franklin in 1757. Franklin was not a Christian, but a deist. He said a lot of really brilliant things, but this was not one of them. This judgmental narrative is a bulwark against generosity, a sturdy protection against the need to help those who are in need. God, it appears, only helps those who pull themselves up, get their act together and put in hard work. If God will not help these lazy people, then I am also off the hook. Instead of feeling guilty, I can look at those who are in need and judge them. Judging makes our guilt go away.

But we can also use our well-being as a means of thinking that we have done something to deserve it. If things are going well, we can assume that somehow we have done something to deserve it. This is the flip side of our false narrative about justice—somehow our condition must be tied to our good works. While it is true that engaging in sin leads to the destruction of our souls, it may not lead to immediate catastrophe in the rest of our lives. The Scriptures remind us repeatedly not to envy those who are sinful and yet prosper. And we ought not judge those who are in dire straights. Though it may be due to sin, laziness and bad decisions, those who are in a bad situation may not always be directly responsible for it.

Which of the three narratives that prevent generosity do you find yourself falling captive to? Why do you think this is so?

If I give it away, I have less. There is a second narrative that prevents generosity: If I give it away I will have less. This scarcity narrative is built on the idea that whatever I give away is now lost, whatever I share is gone and whatever I provide for another contributes to my own lack. In one sense this is true. If I give you some of my cookie, for example, there will be less of it for me. It is simple math: take away any amount and the original amount is reduced. It couples well with the next false antigenerosity narrative, the one of entitlement.

What I have is mine to use for my own pleasure. The most significant narrative that prevents generosity is, What I have is mine to use for my own pleasure. This entitlement narrative teaches us that the things that we possess, whether money, time or abilities, are ours to use as we see fit, which often means using them for our own gain and not the benefit of others. If I start with the notion that what I have is mine, that I somehow earned it or deserve it, then I am entitled to use it any way I want. It falls under my discretion; I get to choose when, how and how much I give.

All three of these narratives come together to form a mighty fortress against generosity. In order to discover the truth, we need to examine the Bible’s narratives. Here, we discover that these narratives are not only wrong, they are also the opposite of the truth and do not lead to the good life or the good community we are seeking.

True Narratives:
Helplessness, Provision and Stewardship

God helps those who cannot help themselves. Like all false narratives, the “God helps those who help themselves” contains some truth; God does help those who are able to help themselves, but God also helps those who cannot help themselves. The Gospels are a Who’s Who of helpless, broken, despised people, yet God helps them: the woman caught in adultery, dead Lazarus, Peter making promises he cannot keep. In fact, it would be easier to make the case that God helps the needy more than those who have plenty. Perhaps that is because those who are in need have open hands, and only open hands can receive. The prejudice narrative must be overcome if we are to become generous.

Reflect on the irony that God uses other humans to function as his hands, feet and heart toward one another. When have you experienced this for yourself, either as a giver or as a recipient?

The Bible repeatedly reminds us that we are sinful and broken. The psalms consistently teach that humans are fallen, broken and wayward. If we are honest, we will admit our utter helplessness. Yes, we may have worked hard to earn a living, buy a home and put food on our table. But in truth we are contingent beings who rely on the mercy of God every single moment. Were it not for the air I breathe and the sun that produces life, I would not last a minute. None of us, in truth, can help ourselves. We are all in need. We are all helpless, and God graciously helps us. Ironically, he uses other humans to do this work.

If we all share, we all have enough. When the children of Israel wandered toward the Promised Land, they had no food. God provided food for them in the form of manna. They did not know what it was, and neither do we (the word manna literally means, “What is it?”). They soon discovered it was food that kept them alive. But they were not supposed to store it up. If they tried to store some for the next day, it rotted, thus teaching them to rely on God’s provision each day. Another rule about manna-gathering is seldom taught but contains a deep truth about generosity. God commanded them to take only enough for their own sustenance, and no more. That way, there would be enough for everyone. They were told to measure how much to eat by using a measuring device, called an omer, which held about two quarts of manna (see Exodus 16:16-18).

Humans have a tendency to hoard, to take more than we need. Unfortunately, some people took more, and as a result some had to take less. But when they used the omer, everyone had all they needed, and there was no lack.

Why do we try to consume more than we need? Because we believe there will not be enough for everyone, so we need to take all that we can. This is a narrative of scarcity. The scarcity narrative, however, can be replaced by the sharing narrative once we realize the economy of the kingdom. The Omer Principle shows that there is enough for everyone—but only when we take our fair share. Hunger experts tell us that there is enough food on the planet to end world hunger, but some (mostly in the Western, developed world) consume more than they need, which leaves less for others. One night I was up late and watched an infomercial for a weight-loss program. For only $150 a month, I was told, I could lose a pound a day—only $5 a day. I switched channels and saw a relief organization commercial showing children with bloated stomachs, and was told that for $3 a day I could prevent a child from dying of hunger. The irony was not lost on me.

Of course, the Omer Principle is not meant to be mandatory or forced (as in communism). It then becomes not something good but evil. But when people arrive at omer-like decisions (Gee, maybe if I didn’t buy this I could give more to that) by the leading of the Spirit, much good comes. God designed a world where there is enough for everyone, as long as we take only what we need.

In chapter six we saw how kingdom economics work differently than world economics. How would living under the idea of God’s abundance versus our scarcity make a difference in your life?

What I have is God’s, to use for his glory. In contrast to the narrative “What is mine is mine,” the true narrative is “What appears to be mine is really God’s.” Nothing I have is mine—it is all a gift from God. We easily get duped into thinking that the things in our possession are ours, and that we therefore get to choose how to use them. In truth, God has designed human life in such a way that makes this illusion quite easy to believe. God has given each of us a little kingdom over which to say what happens. This is God’s plan. He wants us to be stewards. So he gives us bodies, talents and money so we can produce good things.

But our little kingdoms are not our own. We are stewards of God’s gifts; everything belongs to God. That changes everything. No longer can I say, “What is mine is mine to do with what I please.” Instead, “What is mine is not really mine, but God’s,” and therefore I must ask, “How shall I use the gifts you have given me?” This fundamental shift affects all of our daily decisions.

Generosity is an attitude, an inward disposition, that spawns acts of self-sacrifice, which is how God acts toward us. My colleague Matt Johnson put it well:

Generosity is “other-centered,” whereas greed is self-centered, which obviously is a different way of stating the third true narrative. When I’m thinking of myself first and myself alone, then I struggle to give anything to anyone. But on those kingdom-focused days when I’m thinking of God and God’s provision and resources, it is simply a matter of connecting the resources I have been given with the needs and I get to be a conduit for this process.

A Theology of Enough

People go to extremes with money and possessions. Some preach a gospel of prosperity, based on the idea that the good life is about using money and possessions for our own happiness, which God will provide when we do the right things (for example, give to a certain ministry or say a special prayer for thirty days). On the other hand, some preach a gospel of poverty, teaching that the way to be truly spiritual is to be poor. Both extremes are dangerous. The prosperity gospel is simply greed covered in the veneer of religion. The poverty gospel is also dangerous. There is nothing spiritual about poverty, and no one is actually better for having become poor. Dallas Willard notes:

The idealization of poverty is one of the most dangerous illusions of Christians in the contemporary world. Stewardship—which requires possessions and includes giving—is the true spiritual discipline in relation to wealth. . . .

[I]n general, being poor is one of the poorest ways to help the poor.

Prosperity and poverty are not the only choices we have. Author and practitioner Shane Claiborne offers a third option: “We need a third way, neither the prosperity gospel nor the poverty gospel, but the Gospel of abundance rooted in a theology of enough.”

A gospel of abundance is found only in the kingdom of God, where somehow we have what we need when we need it. The kingdom of God is not like an ATM where we can get an endless supply of resources to spend however we like. It is a dispenser of resources offered to those who understand the ways of the kingdom. Where there is a need and a person who can meet that need, the supply will never run out.

One of the great dangers in America, however, is complacency. We live in an affluent society whose values are skewed. A great question is, Where is the Spirit leading me as an individual and us as a community? This requires individual and corporate discernment. Most Western Christians are not pursuing either the gospel of poverty or the gospel of prosperity. The majority of Western Christians must wrestle with what a “theology of enough” means in a culture of excess. How will we discern what is enough? Who will make that decision? If we let our culture make the decision, I am afraid we will become like those who use buckets instead of omers.

For example, Forbes online magazine quantified how much money a person would need to “live well.” Living well, they estimated by their standard, meant living in a four-thousand-square-foot home, owning a second home in a beautiful place (beach, mountain), three luxury automobiles, dinner once a week at an upscale restaurant, three vacations a year, private school for your children, upscale colleges when they graduate and a 1 percent savings rate. The bare minimum amount needed to finance this kind of life is two hundred thousand dollars annually, but in many cities that number goes up. If this is the standard of the good life, then it might make we who live on much less feel as if we are exempt from giving because we are not truly living—at least living well.

Discernment will mean asking, How is God leading me in the use of my financial resources? In light of the great need in our world, what is God calling me and my fellow apprentices to in terms of standard of living and material possessions? It will not necessarily mean that we will be asked to sell everything and live among the poor. But it does mean that we will look at our income and assets in a new light—one illuminated by the light of the kingdom of God.

Primary Areas of Stewardship

Money and possessions are but one way we learn generosity. God has endowed us with several other capacities. The call to stewardship can be expressed by using five resources that are ours to share, if we are willing.

Soul. God has given us a soul, which has several capacities. By our soul we can think, reason, imagine, feel and remember. The mind and the emotions are essential aspects of the soul and incredible gifts to us. Through our souls we write poems and symphonies, design ways to improve life, solve problems that plague us, envision a better tomorrow, mourn the loss of others and grieve for our sin, and create memories that shape our lives and give them meaning. Our souls are magnificent gifts, to be used to bless others.

Body. God has also given us bodies, and these amazing organisms possess incredible capacities, such as sight, smell, hearing, touch and taste. Our bodies have hands to hold and grasp and hammer and write, and feet to take us to wonderful places. If you have ever lost some physical ability for any amount of time, you know well how precious these abilities are. Our bodies are given to us by God to be used to bring hope and healing to others.

Talent. Merely having a soul and a body is enough for us to live in gratitude to God, but he offers us more. We have also been given a measure of strength, health and physical attributes that are uniquely ours. Strength, health, beauty and influence are gifts from God. God has created us with unique talents and abilities, and they too are to be used to advance the cause of God.

Time. We have also been given the gift of time, even though in our day we complain about the lack of it. In truth, most of us have a lot of time in which to invest our energy and attention. Time, they say, is money. While that may be true, making money is not always the best use of our time. Very few will reach the end of their lives and wish they had made more money; rather, most of us will wish we had spent more time being present to those we love. My daughter Hope said to me one day recently, “Dad, will you play a game with me?” I was under a deadline to finish several projects, so the thought of playing an hour or two of Monopoly did not seem like a good use of my time. However, the Spirit whispered to me that I could not have spent that Saturday afternoon in a better way. So I stopped what I was doing and we played. She sparkled for that hour, and I repented. Time is a gift God gives to us to use well, mainly to spend on the things that are most important.

As with money, kingdom economics work differently in relation to time when we are Spirit led. How have you experienced this with your time?

Treasure. We are stewards of our financial and material resources. Though we may have much or little, these monies are given to us to use for the good of others. Certainly we can and should take care of our basic costs, but that which we have beyond these costs should be used to bless others. Money is not evil, nor is it the root of evil. The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil (1 Timothy 6:10). Money can be a great source of blessing. By it the naked are clothed, the hungry are fed, the needy are cared for, the sick are made well. The money we are able to generate can be used to make our communities better places.

A lot has been made of the extraordinary generosity of the early church found in Acts 2: “All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need” (Acts 2:44-45).

Apprentices of Jesus need to carefully consider these verses because there are several common mistakes we can easily make. One is to take this summary statement as a model for all Christian communities and insist on it as the standard way of life. This is a mistake, I believe. First, the church did not continue this practice indefinitely. Second, enforcing it as the rule for all groups tends toward legalism. Third, while the ideal seems inviting, the actual practice of communal living is fraught with much frustration, as we see only a few chapters later: “Now during those days, when the disciples were increasing in number, the Hellenists complained against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution of food” (Acts 6:1). The problem of unequal distribution caused the disciples to have to step in and set up a new order to make sure people were treated fairly, which they did (see Acts 6:2-7). They decided to appoint people (called “deacons”) to watch over the use of funds, allowing the disciples to focus on preaching and teaching.

But the other common mistake is to neglect the Acts 2 model entirely, dismissing it as a quaint practice that does not work for us today. Something similar may in fact work today, and some who live in intentional communities practice a variation of it with great success. While I am not called to this practice personally, I would rather err on the side of trying to make my goods available to others and giving all I can to those who are in need. In many of the great movements in the history of the church we see something similar to the Acts 2 model. I find these verses challenging for me personally.

I offer this practice, which I know works well: give all you can to organizations that are designed to distribute food, clothing and monies to those in need. In my city there are several organizations that do an excellent job of this. They are like the deacons in Acts 6. Their doors are open each day, and they know how to help people get what they need. More than that, they help people find jobs and offer other services that many local churches are not equipped to do.

A Generous Community

Giving is not simply an individual activity or one to be left to specialized organizations. Local church communities need to participate in the joy of giving. My own local church has taught me much about generosity. Chapel Hill United Methodist Church in Wichita has been a generous community from its inception, thanks to apprentices of Jesus who understand kingdom economics. From our earliest days we decided to give 10 percent of our income to be used directly for those in need, regardless of where they attend church (it is called the “First Fruits Fund”). A few years ago the sister of our youth pastor died, leaving the family unable to pay for her funeral and four children practically destitute. Our church not only paid for her funeral (even though she did not attend the church), we also set up a fund to help pay for clothing and schooling for the children.

Not long ago we had a visiting pastor come to our city for a sabbatical. He and his wife arrived in Wichita only to find that their promised room and board had been taken away, due to unforeseen circumstances. When the people in our church heard about their situation, they quickly decided to use monies from the First Fruits Fund to pay for their rent. Then, the people of the church held a meeting to see what they could give by way of furniture. In less than a day they had a fully furnished apartment, all because of the generosity of the people in a church community who had learned the blessing of giving. Of course, countless churches do this, which is good news. The community of Christ-followers are natural givers because they understand the economics of the kingdom.

The Many Ways of Being Generous

Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). For many of us, it is much more comfortable giving than receiving. Richard Foster once pointed out to me how difficult it is to allow ourselves to be served, which he calls “the service of being served.” This requires an act of submission on our part. When others are generous, we feel a need to repay their acts of generosity. I have learned to let others share their gifts with me, and as I reflect on their generosity I have discovered that I am deeply blessed. Let me offer some examples.

My wife, Meghan, constantly blesses me with her joy, enthusiasm for life and belief in me. My son, Jacob, is quiet, but he offers me the gift of wonder each time I see him smile. My daughter Hope is a wellspring of hope. I once told her that I write better when she is in my study, doing one of her puzzles. She selflessly sits quietly by my side doing her puzzles and stops to give me hugs every hour or so. Our daughter Madeline, though not with us in body, is present to me in the spirit, reminding me of the faithfulness of God and the power made perfect in weakness.

My friend Patrick is my ruthless protector who watches over me and my time and energy with care, and never fails to remind me who I am in Christ. My friend C. J. gives me constant encouragement and daily reminders that we live in the kingdom that is strong. My friend Matt offers me gentle wisdom and an ongoing example of Christlikeness. My friend Jimmy generously shares the strength that comes through struggle, and gently reminds me to look at what I have done, not what I have not. My friend Trevor is a true and trusted friend who allows me to be human; he gives me the gift of nonjudgmental friendship.

My friend Andrew offers his deep wisdom just when I need it, and always offers it in humility. My pastor, Jeff Gannon, delivers messages that inspire me. Though he is preaching to our congregation as a whole, I often feel as if he has been given a word just for me. My friends Bob and Arlo have given generously of their own money to support the ministry I am involved in. Their generosity astounds me, but when I try to share my appreciation, they simply tell me that God has given to them, so they want to give back to God. All of these people, and so many more I do not have space to mention, give generously of their gifts. It is not easy to do, but I am learning how to be thankful without feeling a need to repay them.

Sometimes the generosity of anonymous people is a blessing to us. Much of our daughter Madeline’s short life on earth was spent in hospitals. I remember one time being profoundly exhausted from sitting on cold, vinyl chairs with nothing to eat or drink. A nurse told me about the Ronald McDonald Room down the hall. I walked into a room that looked like a room in someone’s home. It had comfortable chairs, couches, a television, coffee and snacks. It became a welcome haven of rest for my wife and me to visit. I never knew the person or persons who gave of their time and money to create this space, but I am grateful that they used their resources to bless our family and many others.

A Plan for Becoming a Generous Community

Learn the joy of giving. I visited a church when they were having their annual Stewardship Sunday. I overheard a man after the service saying to a friend, “I hate it when the church talks so much about money. It makes me feel like all they want me for is my checkbook.” I was so saddened to hear this. The pastor did not present his message in such a way as to make people feel like this. In fact, he repeatedly backed away from coming across this way. This man clearly did not understand the joy of giving. Somehow the narrative of the blessing of giving did not break through. I believe we need to teach and preach about the blessing of giving.

One of the best sermons on stewardship I ever heard was from my mentor and friend Reverend Jerry Vogt. He stood in the pulpit without any reservations and told about the many blessings he and his wife received through the years by their giving. It was not prideful
in any way. He and his wife were simply being stewards of their resources. He never once used guilt, but by the time he finished
my desire to give all I could was increased. This is true not only of
money but of all our resources. We need to be reminded over and over of the joys of giving, and it is best delivered by those who speak
from experience.

Learn the way to margin. In order to be generous, we must create margin. In order to give, we must first have something to give. “Margin” means taking in more than what goes out, thus allowing us to give. Most Americans have no margin, financial or otherwise. To say to them, “You need to give more time and money to those in need” when they are in this condition is unfair. They first have to create margin. The best way to create margin is frugality. I know that is a negative word for many, but we need to redeem it. It refers to responsible living, setting appropriate boundaries.

Do you agree that the narratives in the chapter enable you to practice frugality? Why or why not?

Frugality involves being very careful about our time and resources. Frugality is not the same as being stingy. It also does not mean being cheap. Those who practice frugality are not required to buy the cheapest version. Frugality means buying what we need, but not necessarily what we want. As Dallas Willard notes, “Practicing frugality means we stay within the bounds of what general good judgment would designate as necessary for the kind of life to which God has led us.” Frugal spending decreases debt and moves us toward financial margin. Frugality with our time means learning to say no to some things so we can say yes to others. Until we have financial margin, generosity will be impossible.

Learn ways to give. Many people have no idea where, when and how to give. We need to let people know of the many ways people can give. One church I know consistently lets people know about opportunities to serve with their time. For example, twice a month they have a “Parents’ Day Out” for parents of handicapped children. And every Saturday they sponsor meals for the homeless. They also invest time and money in a depressed area of town. During the worship service, they inform people about the need and how they can participate.

Dives and Lazarus: Only One Chance

We can only be stewards of these great capacities in our lifetime on earth. The moment we die, there will be no chance of offering our gifts of time, talents, abilities or possessions. One of the most haunting parables of Jesus is the story of a rich man (legend has named him Dives) and a poor man named Lazarus (not the Lazarus who was raised from the dead). Though the parable is lengthy, it is worth reading carefully:

There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who longed to satisfy his hunger with what fell from the rich man’s table; even the dogs would come and lick his sores. The poor man died and was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was being tormented, he looked up and saw Abraham far away with Lazarus by his side. He called out, “Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am in agony in these flames.” But Abraham said, “Child, remember that during your lifetime you received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner evil things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in agony. Besides all this, between you and us a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who might want to pass from here to you cannot do so, and no one can cross from there to us.” (Luke 16:19-26)

One thing we can learn from this parable is that we cannot give from beyond the grave. Dives stepped over Lazarus each day and apparently did not even notice him. He became aware of his lack of generosity in the next life, but by then it was too late.

Jesus teaches the same thing in the parable of the sheep and the goats (Matthew 25:32-46). When Jesus comes back in glory he will separate people into two groups, one comprising people who cared for those in need, and one comprising those who did not. Then
the time for caring is over, and we will reap what we sowed. These parables must not be read as a call to works righteousness. Good works cannot save us. But our faith must find expression in our actions, and grace should inspire us to serve. If we live doxologically, with gratitude and thanksgiving for what we have been given, we will naturally give of our time, talents and treasures to those in need. Perhaps the reality that our time to be generous is limited will prevent us from delay.

An Unexpected Phone Call

About a year after I helped the hungry young man in the opening story of this chapter, I received a call. “Pastor Smith?” a voice said. It was the young man I had helped. He went on to tell me that since the day I paid for his dinner, his life began to turn around. He found a job at a car wash and saved enough for an apartment. Then he found an even better job. His longtime girlfriend was able to come to the United States from Germany, and they were engaged. He offered to repay me for the meal, but I refused. He said, “All right, but please know that when I was in need, you helped me out. And I will always be grateful.”

Though this story ended well, generosity does not always lead to this kind of result. Paul famously wrote, “Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7). I want to be clear: I did not give cheerfully when I bought this man his dinner. While God loves giving with a glad heart, even our reluctant giving can be a blessing. I learned from this young man that even a small gift, given begrudgingly, can make a difference. In the end, the person who was helped the most that evening was me.

Soul Training

Stewardship of Resources

One of the principles of this chapter is that frugality creates margin which enables generosity. This is true in the five areas of stewardship (soul, body, time, talent, treasure). When we are frugal—not stingy but wise—we can then free up more resources in order to be generous. Since it is more difficult to find ways to be frugal or generous with soul and body (though they are important in the spiritual life), this week I would like you to experiment with being frugal, then generous, with your time, talent and treasure. Try to do all three exercises. (There is an additional fourth exercise that may be helpful to you where you are.) As always, though, pray about which and how many exercises you should do this week. And remember, a good rule of thumb is to ask, What is the most loving thing I can do in my situation?

Being Frugal, Then Generous, with Your Time

Being frugal. This week find ways to trim some of the activities in your life. This may be challenging: your schedule may be filled with work, family time and caring for others. But it may be possible to find ways to cut out or cut back a few activities. For example, the average American watches twenty-eight hours of television each week, and spends a few hours a day on the Internet. If this is true for you, perhaps you could try limiting your time in these activities by an hour or two a day, freeing up time to invest in some activities you have been neglecting.

Being generous. If you have created some time margin, think of ways you can use that time to bless others. Maybe you could spend a little more time with a friend or family member you wish you had more time to be with. Offer to go for a walk or for coffee, or just hang out in your home, being present to them. You could also offer one of these hours to a shelter or soup kitchen, or any number of activities your church is sponsoring.

Being Frugal, Then Generous,
with Your Talent

Being frugal. Many of us are overextended when it comes to our talents. I know people who are close to exhaustion because they have trouble saying no. As a consequence, they have little to give and feel put upon because they lack margin. This week try saying, “No, I am not able to do that right now.” That will feel like a sin if you have been living with the narrative “Never say no to any request.” But in truth you must find margin or you cannot be generous. You cannot help every friend, be on every committee or sing in every praise group. Find ways to get margin with your gifts so you can give freely when and where you are being led. This, of course, assumes that you will spend time in discernment.

Being generous. If you have found margin with your talents, then you are in a position to wait for God to use your gifts in a more balanced way. Take the posture of listening and discernment, and be open to letting God deploy your gifts in new ways.

Being Frugal, Then Generous,
with Your Treasures

Being frugal. There are many ways to be more frugal with your financial resources, but perhaps the easiest is to not spend as much, or even any, on things that are not completely necessary. For example, for an extended time a friend of mine chose not to buy anything nonperishable (e.g., clothes, CDs, electronic gadgets, etc.). He still had to eat, of course, but he chose to forgo any new purchases for a while, and in so doing increased the money he had to give. Another way is to evaluate your purchases for a week and buy only that which is necessary. Small steps in frugality can create the financial margin needed in order to be generous.

Being generous. The same friend who stopped buying nonperishables was able to give money to two people who unexpectedly shared a financial need. They did not ask him for money, but after being made aware of their need he prayed about it and then gave money to help them out. Had he not been frugal, he could not have been generous.

There are many other ways you will discover to be frugal with your time, talents and treasures. As a result, God will give you opportunities to be generous that you might not have been able to respond to before.

Your Generous Community

In this chapter I wrote about the service of being served and mentioned people in my life who are generous with their love, support, protection, wisdom and encouragement. A helpful exercise may be for you to write a paragraph or two like the one I wrote, naming specific people in your life and the way they bless you. This could be used to deepen your gratitude to God. It may also create a desire in you to write a note, a card or an email to the people mentioned in your paragraph, thanking them for the blessing they are in your life.