Chastity
Chastity
God not only made the body sacred, but God himself has come in person, in bodily flesh. The body of Jesus was not some asexual spiritual shell. Jesus was a red-blooded Jewish male with appetites, drives, hormones, temptations and relationships with women. Being 100-percent human, he had the freedom to make choices about what to do with his body.
The truth is that real freedom always puts us in a place of responsibility. If I want the freedom to play Mozart, I will have to abide by the laws of music. If I want freedom to raise horses, I will have to build some fences. Freedom put Jesus in a place of responsibility. And Jesus never abrogated responsibility for his behavior. He always shouldered his freedom in a way that honored and cherished the bodies of others. He was free to let the sinful woman massage his feet. He was free to hold children and bless them. He had intimate friendships with both men and women. And these relationships were sexually pure. Jesus is a remarkable example of a man who was comfortable in his own skin and totally free to love. He wasn’t emotionally shut down. He was free to go to parties and to hang out with prostitutes. And he was not judgmental or uptight around sexually promiscuous people.
God’s boundaries regarding chastity always bring responsibility. But the responsibility to honor another’s body actually brings freedom to love. Loving behavior always nurtures, encourages, protects, brings freedom, develops intimacy and supports biblical truth. It never leaves another with cause for shame or embarrassment.
Jesus was fully alive and truly pure. He was no innocent. Purity is not the same thing as innocence. Innocence has not yet been tested. Purity is the product of testing. And no matter what your past has been, the possibility of becoming pure is always an option. It is won with every decision you make to honor God with your body and the body of others. When you stumble in the area of sexuality, begin again. Return to the God who made you and confess that you no longer want to deal with your weakness in the power of the self. Seek forgiveness and help from the Holy Spirit to change. Ask him to free you to shoulder the responsibilities of loving as Jesus did. Help may come to you through a friend or a support group that walks with you as you seek to live in freedom to love in Christ’s way.
God’s intention is not to spoil your fun but to help you grow into all he intends for you to be. His commands concerning sexuality always serve your best interests. They are life-giving commands, not life-thwarting regulations. God calls adultery and sexual promiscuity bad because these behaviors are destructive to your life. These behaviors do not serve wholesome, healthy relationships, and they don’t bring true freedom.
Chastity is based on the awareness that God loves bodies. He came in a body—in Jesus. And now he continues to come to this world through our bodies. We are the temple of God on earth. The Holy Spirit inhabits our bodies, and Christ lives in us. Your whole being is made to be filled with God’s trinitarian life.
Reflection Questions
- Who have been your examples of healthy sexuality and relationships?
What have they taught you?
- How have unhealthy models for sexuality influenced or harmed you?
- What impact do movies, magazines and easy access to pornography have on you?
- How has your faith helped or not helped you face issues of your own sexuality?
Spiritual Exercises
- Read through Psalm 139:11-18. What is David’s opinion of his body? • What is God’s view of the body? • What is your own view of your body? Talk to God frankly about how you feel about your body. Listen to what he wants to say to you.
- Plan a quiet time in a safe place, where you can thank God for your body. Stand before a mirror (naked if you can) and thank God for every part of you. • What wounds does this touch? • What is it like for you to do this?
- Make a life confession of the sins of your body to a trusted friend or confessor. Prepare by dividing your life into seven-year periods. Write down what you need to confess in each time period. Make your confession. Receive the words of God’s forgiveness and absolution to you. • When you are plagued with guilt, return to the love and forgiveness offered you in the discipline of life confession.
- Form or join an accountability group that is willing to support and be a companion to you in your desire to live a life of purity. Give them freedom to discuss the personal nature of your relationships and pray for you (see “Accountability Partner”).
- When you see a beautiful man or woman, thank God for him or her. Ask to see men and women through God’s eyes. Even if you don’t know who they are, pray that they will know God and will let their beauty serve him. Lift them to the Father, and thank him for yourself as well.
Resources on Chastity
The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason
Real Sex by Lauren Winner
“We go to church so as not to be alone—alone in our joys, alone in our suffering, alone in the everydayness of our lives, alone in the important passages of our lives. . . . We go to church to tell people we love them, and hopefully, to hear them tell us the same thing.” —Ronald Rolheiser
Community
DESIRE | to express and reflect the self-donating love of the Trinity by investing in and journeying with others |
DEFINITION | Christian community exists when believers connect with each other in authentic and loving ways that encourage growth in Christ. They engage in transparent relationships that cultivate, celebrate and make evident Christ’s love for all the world. |
SCRIPTURE | “I am writing you these instructions so that . . . you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.” (1 Timothy 3:14-15) “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:15-16) |
PRACTICE INCLUDES |
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GOD-GIVEN FRUIT |
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