Self-Care
Self-Care
God inhabits our bodies, delighting in every inch of us. Every eccentricity and peculiarity is received. Every longing and self-destructive habit is known. God knows us through and through and still wants to make his home inside of us. The fact that the Holy Spirit wants to abide in us is one way we know how infinitely precious and beloved we are. We are God’s own prized possessions. Prized possessions are something you take care of.
Yet for some of us, taking care of our bodies seems sub-biblical. Somewhere or other we learned an acronym for joy that went like this: J esus first, O thers second, Y ourself last. There is truth in this adage, but it can also morph into a twisted theology about human worthlessness. Human beings are never worthless. God gave his dearest and only Son to love human beings—beings he treasures and adores. One of the greatest gifts we have next to Jesus is our own selves. We are gifts of God. His Spirit lives in us. And we are to receive the divine love that takes residence in our bodies. We are to take it in and let it form us into a place of prayer.
God’s love within us gives birth to more love: love of God, of others and of ourselves. Love is not a quantity we use up. It is a quality of God that grows within us, enlarging our hearts and our capacity to give and receive. Self-love is not about self-centeredness. It’s about caring for the body the Holy Spirit inhabits. Self-care can be a spiritual act of worship. In Romans 12:1-2 Paul says that spiritual act of worship happens in our bodies. Spirituality doesn’t happen somewhere in your head, outside the concreteness of your own body life. The spiritual life shows up in bodies that love God and our neighbor as ourselves. Parker Palmer writes in Let Your Life Speak, “Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others.”
When we pay attention to our bodies, they tell us truth about ourselves. By listening to them we can detect lethargy, escape strategies, energy levels, dependence on caffeine, addictions to food, compulsions to work, signs of burnout and so on. These messages are meant to be taken seriously. Self-care need not be a selfish act. Exercise, rest and nourishing food aren’t meant to be luxuries but the staples of good self-care. Regular checkups, eating healthy food, spending time with friend: these habits honor the way God made us. Respecting our bodies (including their limitations) is a way God communicates his council and will to us. Our tiredness reveals that we are not infinite beings. We need boundaries. We need rest. We need to say no as well as yes. We need to know that what we can do sometimes, we cannot do all the time.
I have found in my own journey that my body lets me know how compulsive I can be about work. My neck aches when I sit at the computer for hours on end without a break. My eyes blur as I stare at the screen. And my propensity to try to improve everything and do my best keeps me working far past sane and healthy limits. I’ve come to realize I can’t do everything my best. I have to pick and choose what gets done best and what just gets done—so I can rest. At times I have to say “Good enough is good enough.” There is nothing wrong with excellence and doing my best. But when the quest for excellence drives my body beyond its limits I have left the realm of appropriate self-care and am trying to prove something to someone—even if it’s me.
The Trinity doesn’t call us to overload our bodies and ignore physical symptoms of disease and distress. Rather we are called to recognize body information that can help us make good choices about how to spend our time, grow relationships and nurture our souls. (For more information on body stages and seasons see appendix 10.)
As we practice self-care we intentionally receive ourselves as God’s own beloved. Receiving this love into our bodies births the ability to give love and forgiveness to ourselves and others.
Reflection Questions
- God created you “very good.” Thank God for making you you.
If you have a hard time thanking God for yourself, what does this reveal about how you value being made in his image?
- Talk to God about what it is like to receive yourself as he receives you.
- How have you neglected caring for your health, your body, your relationships?
How might Jesus be inviting you more deeply into some area of self-care?
- What is experiencing burnout like for you?
What do you do to recover?
How has it changed the way you live?
- How might receiving yourself as a gift from God affect your life?
- How do you protect yourself from receiving love from God and others?
Spiritual Exercises
- Make a list of things you like about yourself. Thank God you for making you you.
- Stand in front of a mirror and take a good look at your body. What does your body tell you about where you came from? What you have done in life? Your choices? • Tell God how you react to what you see. • What places of your past still need to be received and integrated into who you are?
- Care for yourself by planning a day you would enjoy. Choose where you want to be and who you want to be with. Celebrate the gift of the day and yourself.
- Where in your body life do you need a new beginning? What practices and patterns that tie into food, sex, rest, work or relationships would you like to change? • How can you cooperate with God in an effort to honor your body as his temple? Who can help you in this? • When you come down hard on yourself, remember that you can begin again. Confess your harsh self-treatment and ask God for grace to receive who you are. The Christian message is about new beginnings.
- Sit quietly in a comfortable position. Breathe slowly and notice any tightness in your body. What is your body saying to you right now? Listen to it. Don’t scold it. • How would Jesus want you to care for yourself right now?
- Keep a record of how much you sleep. Are you respecting your God-given need for rest and recreation? • As a discipline, ask God how long he wants you to sleep. Is it more or less? • Readjust your sleeping or resting patterns for a week. What is it like for you?
- Cultivate ways of nurturing and caring for your body: bubble baths, massages, exercise, soft sheets or pillows, buying some flowers or reading an engrossing book. Spend time with your hobbies and people who bring you life. Pick up an interest you left behind. It’s okay to settle into down time. Watch your favorite TV program, rent a movie, cheer on Monday night football. If you like sports, join a league, gather some friends for ultimate Frisbee, go to a road rally or the driving range.
- If you are recovering from a divorce, the death of a loved one or a deep grief, attend a support group or a divorce recovery workshop.
- If you suffer from seasonal affect disorder (SAD), get a UV lamp or visit a tanning salon. You will feel the warmth nurture you.
Resources on Self-Care
Alcoholics Anonymous, ALANON, divorce recovery workshops and so on.
“’Tis a gift to be simple. ’Tis a gift to be free.” —Shaker song
Simplicity
DESIRE | to uncomplicate and untangle my life so I can focus on what really matters |
DEFINITION | Simplicity cultivates the great art of letting go. Simplicity aims at loosening inordinate attachment to owning and having. Simplicity brings freedom and with it generosity. |
SCRIPTURE | “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ ” (Matthew 5:37) “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven. . . . For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21) “ ‘One thing you lack,’ [Jesus] said. ‘Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’ ” (Mark 10:21) “Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little.” (Philippians 4:11-12 The Message) |
PRACTICE INCLUDES |
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GOD-GIVEN FRUIT |
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