Small Group
Small Group
Jesus was never a lone ranger. He has always been part of a divine community with the Father and the Holy Spirit. And when he came to earth, he continued to live his life in small groups. He began his ministry by choosing twelve disciples to be with him (Luke 6:13). Then he spent three years pouring himself into this small group. He taught them truth about God and about themselves. He modeled spiritual practices for and with them. He introduced them to experiences of service, witness and healing prayer. And day after relentless day, in the messy, hard-to-control center of community, he gave them the gift of his full presence.
Spiritual transformation is not a solo event. God works in us through others. Dan Meyer suggests that babies should have a tag attached to their toe that reads, “Life is hard. Do it in groups.” We all need a circle of friends to encourage, support and speak the truth to us. Without their authentic voices, we may never see who we are. It is the unconditional love of a small group that can give us the courage to name the good, the bad and the ugly about ourselves. Small groups can help us press into God’s love when it seems beyond us.
Many of us recognize that small groups are a good idea. We can even identify places of loneliness and times when we feel invisible or unknown. But the pace and activity in life overwhelms us. And a longing for meaningful relationships does not necessarily translate into intentionally making room for them in our busy schedules. Still, the discipline of doing the spiritual journey in the company of others remains Jesus’ model for discipleship. As seasons of activity shift, reexamine your priorities. How might life in a small group replace a night in front of the TV or computer?
Small groups are a simple means of connecting people and offering them a place for self-disclosure and meaningful interaction. Within this context each group decides their purpose, duration, number and so on. Purposes range from therapeutic to recreational and from social to instructional. Small groups exist for Bible study, prayer, social action, support, games, meals, hobbies, tasks and projects. Small groups come in a variety of shapes and sizes: study groups, support groups, ministry groups, training groups, covenant groups (included in this book) and triads.
There is no one right way to do small groups. Small groups take on their own particular personalities based on the participants and their goals. Some groups are highly structured and have a designated leader. Other groups share the leadership and have a more laid-back approach. Still, the best small groups tend to include (1) an intentional purpose and agreement to make the group a priority, (2) a structure that supports the purpose and people in the group, and (3) facilitators who help keep the group on track.
Generally, small groups go through definitive stages of development. Not all small groups make it through every stage. During my time as a staff member with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship I remember being taught four stages of small group development.
- Forming—a group begins and decides its purpose, content, structure and covenant.
- Storming—a group runs into conflict, difficulties and personality quirks. Different ideas about what it means to journey together emerge. Control issues surface. Some people dominate while others clam up. Often if a group disintegrates, it is during this stage.
- Norming—the group makes it through the “storming” stage and settles into the gifts and struggles of the journey for the long haul.
- Transforming—the group accomplishes its goal or mission and in the process grows and becomes more of who God created them to be.
Reflection Questions
- How have small group experiences affected your spiritual journey?
- If you have been in a small group that went through the stages mentioned above, what was that like for you?
- What would your dream small group look like?
Spiritual Exercises
- If you have never been part of a small group experience, ask the Lord if now is the time to join one. Consider what kind of small group you would like to be involved in: an outreach group, a Bible study group, a book club, a covenant group, a support group. Ask God to help you start or find a group you can journey with.
- Three people are enough to begin a triad, or small group. So if you are not a group lover, ask two other people to join you in a triad. Meet to discuss your expectations, content and structure you wish to have.
- Many books are available to aid the small group process. Spend some time at a bookstore looking into the variety of tools that could help you in the content or process of forming a small group.
Resources on Small Groups
Discipleship Essentials by Greg Ogden
Small Group Leaders’ Handbook: The Next Generation by Jimmy Long, Ann Beyerlein, Sara Keiper, Patty Pell, Nina Thiel and Doug Whallon
“The Creator arranged things so that we need each other.” —Basil of Caesarea
Spiritual Friendship
DESIRE | to develop a friendship that encourages and challenges me to love God with all my heart, soul, strength and mind |
DEFINITION | Spiritual friendship involves cultivating a covenant friendship where I can naturally share about my life with God. It is grounded in relationship to God and a commitment to support, encourage, and pray for one another. |
SCRIPTURE | “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17) “Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15) “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (Romans 15:7) “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17) |
PRACTICE INCLUDES |
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GOD-GIVEN FRUIT |
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