Editor’s Note: Crosswalk's Singles Advice is an advice column for singles featuring an anonymous question from a Crosswalk.com reader with a thoughtful, biblical reply from one of our single editors.
I am a Christian man and I would like to know: is it possible for God to stop our feelings when a Christian asks Him to in prayer? In my case, I had been engaged with a Christian girl, and after years of engagement, she said to me “I have no more feelings for you...I asked God 'if you don’t want me to stay with my boyfriend, please stop my feelings for him.'" She said that God answered her prayer. I am so sad lately and I've praying to know God’s will, because I still love her.
This is such a tough situation to be in. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is one of those all-consuming feelings that can really shake you up inside. While breakups are never easy, there is good news, it will get better!
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
So, you want to know if God can stop someone from having feelings for someone else. The short answer is that God can do anything, so I suppose, yes, He could have stopped your fiancé from having feelings for you.
But it is important to remember that God does all things for good.
If God truly did stop your fiancé from having feelings for you, then it was not His will for you two to be together; at least for now. The key is to trust in God’s plan for you. I know it can be hard to want something so much and then watch it not work out. I encourage you to sit in prayer with God and ask Him to give you some clarity and comfort in this situation.
“The Lord works out everything to its proper end – even the wicked for a day of disaster.” - Proverbs 16:4
There are a million “what ifs” you could ask yourself in this situation, but the one I would ask myself is, “what if we got married and then she stopped having feelings for me?” It would have been a far more difficult situation to be married to someone who didn’t love you.
The other option you may want to consider is this: Maybe she simply used God as a scapegoat for her feelings or lack thereof. Now, like I said, it really could have been God’s will for her to walk away from her relationship with you. I myself have begrudgingly walked away from relationships because I felt like God was calling me for something else.
But it also could have been that she just knew or felt like it wasn’t right, and it was easier to say “God helped me fall out of love with you.”
Either way that this breakup played out, what I always tell people in regard to breakups is now that you are single, God has given you this great gift of alone time.
Spend this time as a single man to reflect on yourself. Find out what you desire, what you dream, what you aspire to achieve and then spend some time with God reflecting on these things.
Be frank with God, ask Him what His will is for you. Ask Him if your desires align with His. Ask Him for healing and peace in this situation.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” – Matthew 6:33
“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” – Psalm 37:7
I want to leave you with this: sometimes we don’t like the outcome of God’s will, but God knows what we need, and he will never leave you to deal with it alone. Trust God even if it is hard…and even if you are mad, sad or hurt.
God is working in your life not to harm you, but to help you. He wants you to be successful and joy-filled.
Trust that when the right girl comes along, God will open that door for you.
“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” – Deuteronomy 31:8
Kayla Koslosky loves her faith journey as a Christian single and is the News Editor for ChristianHeadlines.com. Kayla has worked as a mentor for college leaders offering them advice and assistance throughout their leadership journeys, led a women's Bible study, and wrote an advice column for her college’s Yellow Jacket Newspaper.
Disclaimer: any single editor replying to reader questions through this advice column is a Christian seeking God's direction through his Word. We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. As we explore issues with you, we will seek God's guidance through prayer and the Bible.
Have a question? If you have a question about anything related to living the single life, please email firstname.lastname@example.org (selected questions will be addressed anonymously). While we cannot answer every question, we hope you'll find encouragement in this column.
Photo Credit: ©Thinkstock/Milkos
Kayla Koslosky has been the Editor of ChristianHeadlines.com since 2018. She has B.A. degrees in English and History and previously wrote for and was the managing editor of the Yellow Jacket newspaper. She has written on her blog kaylamariekoslosky.blogspot.com since 2012 and has also contributed to IBelieve.com and Crosswalk.com.