"God created moms to cook most of the time and to water the chickens," says Jed, 8.
Well, Jed, either you have some strange chickens, or your mom needs more farm experience. As for the cooking, let's hope your mom's chicken casserole contains poultry that someone has fed and not just watered.
"God created moms because they could go shopping while me and my dad go hunting," says Jacob, 7.
As a guy who hates to shop, that makes perfect sense to me. And while the guys are hunting, Mom will "teach girls about makeup," says Kristin, 10. "He also created moms for girls to tell about problems we can't tell dads. Thank you, God, for creating moms."
As Kathryn, 12, says, "It's nice to be able to talk about things. I know because I have a mom."
Listening is important, but "moms were made to have fun with their kids," says Alex, 10. "You might think your mom is old, but really inside, she is a kid just like you," adds Kristen, 9.
Yes, you might be amazed that your mom likes to have fun, but even more amazing is that moms will love you even when you're not so much fun. "Moms will love you even if you fight a lot," says Adrienne, 10. "They are probably here so they can take care of their kids. But, that's just my guess."
Good guess, says Mallory, 7: "I think moms were made to hug you. I think that God made moms to kiss you, too. I think moms were made to fix your hair."
Not only are moms good for hugs and hair, but also hassles, says Beth, 9: "God created moms because we need somebody to get onto us and say things like, 'Clean up your room now!'"
Beth, you might consider what your mom does for you. J.T., 7, believes that "God made moms to do stuff without getting mad." In fact, "Moms do most of the dirty work around the house," adds observant Andrew, 10.
All right, let's get down to basics, says Justin, 9: "God created moms to give birth to people so that the earth's population will grow."
Remember, Mom was there in the beginning. You were kicking, screaming and making a mess in your diaper. Part of Mom's job is to remind you of your humble entrance into this world, says Stephen, 10: "God made moms to embarrass you in front of your friends. Moms are made to be there for you always, and you'll always be their baby."
So why do moms put up with us? Erica, 7, has the answer: "The Lord loves me so he made a person of love and faith to tackle the job of me, and that is my mom. She loves me so much. I am her love of love."
Nick, 7, says it another way: "God made moms so they could be like God."
How many times have we seen mothers claim innocence for sons who have committed the most heinous crimes? A mother's unconditional love is based on her capacity to love, not on her children's worthiness.
In the same way, God's love is not based on our worthiness. We have all sinned against God. The irony is that the one who lived perfectly and loved unconditionally was tried, convicted and crucified as a common criminal to pay the penalty for our rebellion against God.
Whether or not you've been blessed by a mother's love, remember that the greatest love of the greatest mother who ever lived is only a reflection of God's perfect, unconditional love.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life" (John 3:16).
Inspire your children by reading this column with them and visiting the Kids Talk About God Web site at www.KidsTalkAboutGod.org. Bible quotations are from the New King James Version.
Copyright 2005 Carey Kinsolving