4 Green Flags of Godly Friendships

Do not be fooled; the company you keep matters for your future. Proverbs 13:20 says, "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." What this is getting at is fools do foolish things while the wise operate from a place of wisdom. If you make your community one of those who seek true wisdom, the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 9:10), it is likely that you will find yourself propelled to do the same. On the other side of the coin, if you surround yourself with those who foolishly squander time and money or make choices from a place of selfish desires, you will likely find yourself justifying bad ideas. Either side of choice will bring about a consequence, but only one has the likelihood of long-term goodness.

Paul conveys in 1 Corinthians 15:33 a similar sentiment in reminding: "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character." The company you keep will determine the mindset you keep and the choices you make, so choose wisely.

A Godly friendship is one where a sharpening occurs. Proverbs 27:17 offers the metaphor, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." A good sign of a Godly friendship is one that incites a sharpening of practice, pursuit, and position of heart towards the Lord. This person will not only know Scripture but will faithfully walk it out in their life. Such friendships, at times, will be challenging because sharpening is a fierce maneuver, but when done so with grace, truth, and love, it can pay off greatly.

Similar to iron sharpening iron, a green flag of a Godly friendship is holy rebuke. Proverbs 27:5-6 explains, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy." This means that a friend can speak from a position that others often cannot, for they have a close ear. Even if the word given is painful to hear, offering truth can, at times, be the way to love someone best. Consider The Prophet Nathan rebuking David for committing sins he thought were hidden away. The rebuke resulted in David coming to conviction and restoration before the Lord, seeking Him to be purified of heart. Galatians 6:1 outlines how to go about a godly rebuke, "Brothers and sisters, if someone is overtaken in a fault, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to yourself, lest you also be tempted." Remember that these rebukes should be handled with God on both sides to convict all toward seeking the Lord to be in alignment before Him.

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Just as Godly rebuke is a green flag in a friendship, so is the gift of encouragement towards one another. 1 Thessalonians 5:11-14 instructs us: "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all."

Encouragement is a way that we can build one another up when it is so very needed. Take notice of those who offer a kind word when you are feeling hopeless or who remind you of your true identity when Satan's lies become so loud. Remember that you can do this for others as well; simply ask the Lord who needs encouragement today and how you can be a conduit of the Holy Spirit toward them.

Teamwork makes the dream work, and a healthy team is a force to be reckoned with in this world. Ecclesiastes. 4:9-12 speaks to it: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

The third cord here is the one of the Holy Spirit of the Lord to entwine these two souls. In practical terms, this can look like working towards a goal together, teaming up for a mission or work, or doing life together. The early Church in Acts functioned in this way. Many came together:

"All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day, they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." (Acts 2:44-47).

These common threads of faith, integrity, character, and mission were pivotal for the Church as a whole and for the individuals. Common threads help to entwine us, not entangle us.

One of the best examples of a friendship filled with green flags in the Bible is that of David and Jonathan. David and Jonathan loved each other selflessly and purely, as shown in 1 Samuel 18:1, "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul." Their friendship was beyond enjoying one another's company; it was rooted in the Lord and in the desire to see His will accomplished. This meant Jonathan supported David, even when Jonathan's own father, Saul, was against him. These two men remind us that godly friendship is something to pray for and pursue.

Godly friendships will yield a harvest of great fruit and a garden of green flags. They often result from seeking who God desires to walk alongside you in this season and are friendships only He could take credit for bringing about. Ask the Lord to reveal what He wants for you, specifically in friendships, and to highlight the green flags to be aware of and dearly esteem.