7 Hindrances to Intimacy for Women

We all experience stressful situations such as traffic jams, work deadlines, and toddler meltdowns. But when we allow stress to build, it can be difficult to calm our nervous system enough to enjoy intimacy with our spouse.

Here are a few ways to manage stress for greater intimacy:

-Incorporate an evening wind-down routine by turning off social media, playing soft music, and taking a bath.

-Spend 20 minutes journaling prayers for your husband, thanking God for the gift he is to you.

-Go for a peaceful drive with the windows down.

-Diffuse calming oils such as lavender or frankincense.

-Step outside and take a few deep breaths.

Bible Verses to Help with Stress:

"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" (Matthew 6:26-27)

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

A Prayer to Relieve Stress:

Gracious God, I need Your help in this stressful situation. I feel tense and anxious, and I ask Your Spirit to calm my emotions. Please lower my cortisol levels and help me relax enough to enjoy intimacy with my husband. In Jesus' holy name, amen.

Fatigue is probably the most common hindrance and affects most women I know. By the time dinner dishes are done, the kids are tucked in, and we finally sink our heads into the pillow, the motivation for intimacy is next to none.

Here are a few ways to increase motivation when fatigued:

-Apply pressure to the inside of your arm, three fingers in length from your wrist. Hold for a few seconds and repeat as needed.

-Squeeze the outer edge of your ear, holding for about 10 seconds. Repeat several times.

-Splash cold water on your face, wrists, and feet for instant energy.

-Open a window for fresh air.

-Run in place or do jumping jacks for 20-30 seconds.

Motivating Bible Verses:

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." (Isaiah 40:29)

"But Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" (Matthew 19:26)

A Prayer for More Motivation:

Lord, I need Your strength and motivation as I wind down the day. Please give me an extra dose of energy as I connect with my husband meaningfully. You know how tired I am, so I'm asking You to make a way when there seems to be no way. In Jesus' name, amen.

Disconnection in marriage can happen without either person realizing it. Varying work schedules, outside pressures, and differing beliefs can cause small, consistent rifts that eventually affect intimacy. However, by recognizing the disconnect, couples can take steps to bridge the divide and draw close once again.

Here are a few ideas for deeper connection:

-Go for leisurely walks after dinner.

-Play cards or board games instead of watching TV.

-Do a couple's devotion every morning over coffee.

-Implement conversation starters such as these, and enjoy lighthearted discussions.

Bible Verses for Closer Connection:

"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" (Genesis 2:18)

"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave." (Song of Solomon 8:6)

"'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." (Mark 10:7-9)

A Prayer to Connect with Your Husband:

Lord, please help me connect with my husband in meaningful ways. Prompt me to set my agenda aside in favor of spending quality time with him. Increase my desire for intimacy as we make efforts to connect on a daily basis. In Jesus' name, amen.

Photo Courtesy: ©Getty Images/Capuski

Frustration happens at the slightest offense, and it's easy for wives to keep a running list. This hinders intimacy much more than we realize, especially when we allow our frustrations to turn into bitterness or resentment.

Here are a few healthy ways to prevent frustration from hindering intimacy:

-Ask God to help you remove any walls you've built between you and your husband.

-Forgive your spouse seventy times seven.

-Let the petty stuff go.

-Communicate your frustrations in a calm, clear manner, well before times of intimacy.

A Powerful Passage to Minimize Frustration:

"Therefore, if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." (Philippians 2:1-4)

A Prayer to Let Go of Frustration:

Holy God, please settle my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Help me release all frustrations to You and discern between what is important and what is not. Open the lines of communication with my husband so that we can deal with our problems without letting them interfere with intimacy. In Jesus' mighty name, amen.

Social media is a real problem for married couples. Over the last decade, it's grown into an all-consuming habit that hinders the desire for intimacy. Through endless scrolling, we are terribly distracted by what we see on our screens.

Here are a few ways to minimize social media for deeper intimacy:

-Set specific times when phones are turned off or left in another room each day.

-Start a new hobby or side hustle with your spouse.

-Consider a 10-day (or 21-day) social media fast.

-Avoid comparing your marriage to couples on social media. More often than not, it's a false representation of reality.

Bible Verses to Help You Release Social Media:

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." (Isaiah 26:3)

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2)

"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." (Colossians 3:2)

A Prayer for Breaking Free from Social Media:

Heavenly Father, please open my eyes to the distraction of social media and give me the strength to set it aside. Renew my perspective to see things as You see them. Help me prioritize my marriage and choose intimacy over scrolling. In Jesus' name, amen.

Body image is one of the top hindrances to intimacy, and so often, women want to hide from their husbands. There's a funny episode in the sitcom The Middle where the husband and wife go on a romantic date. However, when they get home, the wife announces she feels fat and bloated and isn't in the mood. This is a pretty accurate example of how we feel from time to time. Body image plays a crucial role in the level of intimacy we offer our husbands.

Here are a few ways to overcome poor body image:

-Write 10 things you're grateful for concerning your health and wellbeing.

-Focus on serving others with your God-given gifts and talents.

-When self-condemning thoughts cycle through your mind, replace them with God's truth.

Bible Verses to Help with Body Image:

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27)

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:14)

A Prayer to Help with Body Image:

Awesome God, thank You for creating me in Your image. I bear Your name with confidence and grace. Help me overcome the negative dialogue that runs through my mind. Replace it with my true identity found in Christ. In His name, amen.

Genesis 3:16 has always stood out to me. The latter part of the verse says, "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." This was part of the curse Eve received in the garden, and I've often wondered how it affects women's intimacy today. But remember, the enemy's plan is always to steal, kill, and destroy. If he can steal the joy of intimacy in marriage, he'll do it.

Here are a few ways to resist him:

-Put on the whole armor of God, piece by piece, taking a bold stand against his schemes.

-Rebuke Him in the mighty name of Jesus, refusing to let him influence your marriage.

-Pray the blood of Jesus over every room in your house, especially your bedroom.

-Thank God openly for your marriage and resist grumbling about your spouse.

Bible Verses to Stand Against the Enemy:

"'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty." (Zechariah 4:6)

"I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." (Luke 10:19)

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." (1 Corinthians 15:57)

A Prayer to Rebuke the Enemy:

Lord God, in the mighty name of Jesus, I rebuke Satan and his demons. I cast them far from my household today. I pray for Your peace and protection to cover my marriage, and I ask for renewed intimacy in the days to come. Amen.