Two years. That’s about the longest amount of time a couple has until the thrill of the new wears off. It’s not that there isn’t any attraction, but a person’s physiology changes, and being “in love” doesn’t feel as good anymore.
Norepinephrine and phenylethylamine is to blame. These hormones cause us to hyper-focus on the person we’re attracted to. We experience a sense of euphoria at the thought of them (via dopamine). It’s a fantastic physical phenomenon—and necessary—as we initially bond with our partners.
Therapists, researchers, and pastors agree—love is blind. Just look at the differences in topics between pre-marital counseling and couples’ therapy! But our bodies can’t sustain the excitement forever. It’s inevitable; the exhilaration wanes.
Couples in the first stages of their relationship look past glaring differences (and potential problems) due to their initial attraction to one another. It’s not a mistake that those who date more than three years before getting married are the most likely to stay together—their eyes become clear as the “love” hormones level out.
Maybe you’re in a new relationship and there are some conversations that you need to have with your partner. Or perhaps you’ve been married a long time, and you’ll be able to relate to some of these key points of marriage contention.
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