7 Tiny Efforts Husbands Truly Appreciate

I’ve been paying close attention to the tone of my voice lately and realize how snippy I can sound. I suppose it’s because I’m most comfortable with my husband and have forgotten how important gentle words are.

Most couples I know struggle with how to say things. Like the old phrase goes, “It’s not what you say but how you say it.” It’s easy to get into the bad habit of snapping at one another, letting impatience drive our words, and speaking in condescending tones. However, the Bible says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)

I love the reminder to build others up according to their needs. So often, we are focused on our own desires, we speak words that tear down instead of edify. One thing that has helped me in times of stress is to pause quickly and thank God for my spouse. Then, I try to start the conversation with something positive, such as:

“Thank you for filling up the car. I was relieved to see a full tank.”

“I really appreciate you making dinner. I’ve had a really stressful day.”

“Your patience is much appreciated. I feel like I’ve been on edge lately.”

Even when hard conversations need to be had, our husbands will truly appreciate words of kindness and respect. No matter how high the tension, we can make the tiny effort of remaining calm, kind, and gentle.

Here’s a powerful reminder from Philippians 4:5-7. “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I don’t know about you, but I frown a lot, especially when I’m busy or deep in thought. It’s as if I forget to smile! Making the tiny effort to smile at our husbands gives them a sense of security and well-being. It lets them know we are okay.

The key is to take every thought captive, as Paul said in 2 Corinthians 10:5. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” How often are we having an argument in our mind, causing our countenance to fall? I know I’m guilty of this far too often.

Frequent smiles are easy to give. It just takes a bit of mindfulness to step out of toxic thoughts and focus on holy things. Even saying the fruits of the Spirit aloud can bring a genuine smile to our face. Of course, this doesn’t mean we walk around with fake smiles, but it does mean we bless our husbands with authentic warmth and joy. So, as you go about your day, pay attention to your facial features. Is your brow furrowed? Is your mouth turned downward? Try smiling as you complete your tasks, meditating on the joy of the Lord. What a difference this tiny effort makes!

Praying for our husbands is a daily privilege but doesn’t have to be elaborate. Some of the most impactful prayers are the simplest of prayers. They can be for his health, work, spiritual growth, and overall happiness.

In the post, 12 Powerful Prayers to Pray over Your Husband Daily, Mary Oelerich-Meyer writes, “I believe the ultimate show of respect and love for our husbands is that we would be on our knees each day praying to the Father for all of his various needs. Not only does this cover your husband spiritually, but it strengthens your bond with your husband as the Lord allows you to see his needs.”

Prayer matters. Perhaps more than any other blessing, prayer is appreciated on so many levels. Here are a few quick prayers to pray:

“Lord, please bless my husband’s work, and let everything he sets out to do be glorifying to You, in Jesus’ holy name.”

“Lord, please strengthen my husband mentally, physically, and spiritually. Give him everything he needs for life and godliness, in Jesus’ name.”

“Lord, thank You for my husband and the companionship he brings. I wouldn’t want to do life with anyone else. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Photo credit: ©Pexels/Karolina Kaboompics

When our kids were still living at home, I’d set the timer for 20 minutes to do a quick clean-up before Dad got home. I called it the “zoom-thru method,” and it made all the difference in maintaining a sense of peace and order.

There’s something about coming home to a tidy, decluttered space that helps our husbands look forward to walking in the door. This tiny effort is greatly appreciated, especially after a long, stressful day. Try your own quick clean-up method, even if it’s only for ten minutes. Get the whole family involved and make it a daily habit that will bless your husband in significant ways.

Here are some Scripture motivations to help you incorporate this tiny effort:

Proverbs 24:3 (AMP) “Through [skillful and godly] wisdom a house [a life, a home, a family] is built, and by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation].”

Proverbs 31:27 “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

Colossians 3:23 (ESV) “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”

Our husbands carry a lot of responsibility, and helpful reminders can lighten their load. From quarterly oil changes to dentist appointments, putting reminders on the calendar is a tiny effort that is much appreciated.

In our marriage, we’ve kept a monthly calendar on the breakfast bar with different colors indicating my husband’s commitments and mine. This is an easy way for us to see what’s coming up and be aware of each other’s obligations. You can also share a Google calendar if you prefer digital reminders. Either way, supporting your husband through helpful reminders is a tiny effort that is genuinely appreciated.

Recently, a neighbor stopped by to chat as I was watering the front yard. He mentioned a new community discipleship program he was starting and hinted at my husband becoming a Bible study leader. Intuitively, I mentioned my husband’s current involvement in other projects but promised to pass along the information. Later, as I recounted the conversation with my hubby, he was extremely grateful I hadn’t committed him to anything.

It’s never a good idea to answer “for” our husbands, but instead, be highly intuitive to their physical, mental, and social makeup so as not to obligate them to things outside their comfort zones. Philippians 2:4 (AMP) says, “Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Planning intuitively means we consider our husband’s interests. If he dreads crowded places, it’s not beneficial for us to buy season baseball tickets. We can avoid fancy restaurants and dress-up events if he prefers casual date nights.

Marriage is a partnership full of responsibilities, and it’s easy to overwhelm our spouses with to-do lists, errands, and expectations. But what about offering our husbands the space to just “be”? Imagine their appreciation of having an hour to unwind before engaging with the family at the end of a long workday.

This isn’t always easy, especially when we’re feeling overwhelmed ourselves, but once you develop a healthy rhythm, you can take turns offering personal time and space to unwind. This tiny effort can quickly become a habit of give-and-take as you are both sensitive to each other’s needs.

Remember Jesus’ words in Luke 6:38 (ESV). “Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” Let this be our mindset as we make tiny efforts to bless our husbands. Not that we give to receive, but we give with the assurance that he will truly appreciate our efforts and most likely bless us in return.