6 Ways Husbands Can Love Their Wives as God Instructs

In his writings, Paul often spoke about marriage. He particularly addresses husbands in Ephesians 5:25-33. If husbands want to know the best ways to love their wives as God instructs and expects, they need to study this Bible passage often. They also need to apply these teachings to their daily life. Paul addresses this subject within the Ephesian church because many husbands were not loving their wives as God intended.

Paul brought up specific topics within his letters because they were occurring within the congregation. This tells us the Ephesian believers had struggles in their marriages, just as believers have struggles today. Husbands, you need to be aware of the present times and your actions. Are you ensuring your wife feels loved? Are you following the teachings of the Lord when it comes to loving your wife? If the answer to these questions is “no,” be assured that you can change. Just because you are struggling now and have made mistakes doesn’t mean they must continue.

The best way to love your wife as God instructs is to love her as Jesus loves the church. This is a weighty command, so people should not rush into marriage. Are you willing to die for your wife because you love her this much? This is what Jesus did for the church. Therefore, this is the same type of love husbands should have for their wives. It is a sacrificial and unconditional love that cannot be matched.

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Paul also instructs husbands to love their wives as they love their own body (Ephesians 5:28-30). As Paul points out, nobody ever hated their own body, but rather, they took care of their bodies. Husbands are to do this with their marriage. They should love their wives by caring for them, providing for them, and ensuring they know they are loved. This can be hard for some husbands, especially if it is not something they are used to doing.

American culture has programmed men and women alike to be independent. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, it can be a bad thing if the husband and wife are so independent of each other that they don’t need one another. Husbands won’t be able to love their wives as their bodies if a wife sees she doesn’t need her husband. Sadly, this happens far too often, and it is usually the result of the wife going a long time without receiving love from her husband.

In the same way, if a husband has a negative self-view of himself, he won’t be able to love his wife as God commands. Since he hates his body, he will be more critical of his wife’s body, accomplishments, etc. If a husband finds himself in this situation, he might need to seek therapy to work on this issue and love himself so he can love his wife.

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Closely connected to loving your wife as you love your own body, husbands are also called to love their wives as they love themselves. Yet again, if a husband is struggling with a negative self-view or self-hate, he won’t be able to love his wife in this manner. Instead, he will extend the same hate he has for himself to his wife. Even if he might not know he is doing this, it will be clear to his wife.

For example, if a husband is unhappy with his work, appearance, or success in life, he will reflect these feelings onto his wife and be more judgmental of her work, appearance, and success. As one can see, there is no happy ending in this scenario. Husbands who struggle in this area need to reach out to a trained, professional therapist to work through these feelings and become the supportive, caring, and loving husband his wife needs.

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The Apostle Paul is not the only person who spoke of marriage in the Bible. The apostle Peter discusses the importance of being considerate of your wife (1 Peter 3:7). Wives are not as strong as husbands physically. Therefore, husbands need to understand this and treat their wives with proper respect. As heirs of the Heavenly Kingdom, husbands do not need to think less of their wives because of shortcomings, flaws, or weaknesses.

In truth, both husbands and wives will have their days of weakness and need each other. A husband and wife are supposed to be a team and should be considerate of one another. Maybe this means knowing your wife isn’t up to going on that 6-week mission trip, or she isn’t up to spending a month alone at home while you go on your business trip for work. Be considerate of her, and it will improve your marriage.

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The Apostle Paul teaches husbands within the Colossian church that they don’t need to be harsh with their wives (Colossians 3:19). Instead of being harsh, they need to love their wives. Not being harsh with your wife means being kind, caring, and understanding. Rather than getting upset or being mad at your wife, you will work through issues healthily. This involves talking about problems and solving them together.

Being harsh with your wife will send the message that you don’t love her. Think about when you were a child and your parents were harsh with you. It probably didn’t make you feel very good. This is how your wife feels whenever you are harsh with her. With time, she will be convinced you don’t love her, impairing your marriage. In truth, it might result in a divorce.

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Husbands can love their wives as God instructs and expects by enjoying the time they have with their wife (Ecclesiastes 9:9). All of us only have a limited amount of time on this earth. With the time we have been given, we should make the most of it. If a husband has been blessed with a wife, it is a true gift. As Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” Having a loving, caring wife is a true blessing that should not be overlooked.

The time a husband spends with his wife should be spent well. Husbands need to remember that their wives are the women they chose all those years ago. Sure, she has gotten older, but so have you. Her love for you has not changed, so your love for her shouldn’t change either. Spend your days well and truly take in the favor of the Lord.

Therefore, spend your time with her, not with your buddies after work or with your cell phone. Your wife wants to be with you and create lasting memories. Your bond will grow stronger the more you spend time with her, and in turn, she will know that she is loved. Ultimately, God wants husbands to love their wives as He instructs, cherish them, and always be faithful. By spending more time with your wife and enjoying this time together, all of these things will follow.

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