6 Ways to Reset Your Singleness

The first step of resetting your singleness is to reflect on what singleness means to you, how you've defined it, and how you've lived in it. Many singles don't understand the blessing and the fullness that is their God-given singleness. This is because they fail to recognize that singleness is a God-given gift, a God-given lifestyle, and a God-given ministry. As you begin resetting your singleness, take some time to reflect on whether you've lived your seasons the way God has led you or if you've simply existed in your singleness according to the world's standards. Set aside time and intentionally think back on any season of your singleness. Reflect on your relationships, your motivations, how you've served others, how you've served God, and how you've regarded yourself. You can journal your thoughts so you can remember where you were, so you won't revert back to who you were in that time of your singleness.

Reestablish your relationship with God, and ask Him to reveal your single purpose in Him to you. Whether you want to believe it or not, your single purpose is not marriage. I realize that this may shock some, but God has not placed you here for marriage. God has designed you for more. He has a place for you to build His kingdom inside and beyond the walls of the church for His glory. He has placed a ministry in you for the saved and unsaved. He has prepared positive relationships for you to forge that will move you toward the life He's designed for you. In order for you to get all that God has for you in your singleness, you have to reestablish your relationship with Him so He can show you just how good the singleness He's designed for you can get! One way to do this is to set aside to communicate with Him through prayer. Another way is to allow Him to communicate with you by reading His Holy Word daily. You can also set aside quiet time for meditation to listen to God speak to you regarding your singleness. However you decide to reestablish your relationship with God is up to you, but make sure you do it as a part of resetting your singleness.

After reflecting and reestablishing your relationship with God, it's time to redefine your singleness. Focus on understanding and redefining your singleness as God created it. This step requires you to clearly define your singleness as you've known it and then redefine it as God has purposed it. Make a physical or mental list of everything you thought singleness was or anything you've been taught about it. Now, look closely at it and ask God to help you change anything about this definition of singleness that is not of Him. As God speaks to you, write down the changes to redefine singleness as He wants it to be. God designed singleness as a gift filled with love, joy, peace and prosperity and it should be defined as such.

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Readjusting is the next step in resetting your singleness. This is probably one of the most difficult steps in this process. Why? Because it forces you to release old thoughts and habits regarding your singleness and embrace new ones that guide your purpose. While this is not an easy thing to do, it's necessary in this process. Additionally, readjusting requires singles to develop fresh, core values. Your core values in singleness should be guided by the Word of God and not societal norms for singles that primarily focus on marriage and having a relationship by any means. However you begin to readjust your singleness, be sure to ask God for His guidance every step of the way.

The next step to resetting singleness is to reconcile with it. Reconciling with your singleness means taking responsibility for failing to value singleness as a gift, recognizing the mistakes you've made along the way, releasing any hurt you've experienced, and forgiving yourself for thinking that your singleness is anything less than the blessing it is. Reconciling with your singleness also requires you to trust God in these seasons. Trust that He will do more than sustain or deliver you from it; He will guide you in these seasons and fill you with peace, love, joy, and understanding that comes along with singleness.

The last step of resetting your singleness is to reconnect with it. One way to begin this step is to invite God into your singleness. Many times, singles often pray for an exit plan rather than asking God to bless them in their seasons of singleness. Pray for blessings in singleness, and watch how your life changes. Another way to reconnect with your singleness is to practice gratitude for your relationship status. So many singles are ungrateful for their single status because they don't understand the blessing that it is. They only focus on what the world and many churchgoers believe about singleness rather than being grateful for these seasons of life. Reconnecting with your singleness requires you to connect with singles who have a healthy, godly perspective on being single. Develop relationships with singles who have discovered the God-given joy that is this time of life.

Singles, as you begin this journey of resetting, ask God to create a clean heart, mind, and spirit in you to do the work He has called you to do in your singleness and to help you see singleness as He sees it. Actively focus on improving your singleness one day at a time, but remain consistent in your efforts. If you noticed, there are six steps. This was designed this way for you to actively spend an entire year working on shifting your single mindset and eventually your single lifestyle. Spend a couple of months on each step so that they become habits for resetting anytime you need to. Be intentional with reconstructing your singleness so that you can live the single life God has created for you to the fullest. It's okay to refocus and restart as often as you need to until you get it right!

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