7 Wrong Ideas Dating Shows Give Singles about Dating

The nature of dating shows is anything but natural when it comes to introductions. Typically, the program will include men and women who have never met coming together under one roof, seen or unseen, for a fishbowl-type approach. This is not counter to real-life mixers, speed dating programs, or even parties, but it differs in that you do not leave the event to go back to your own home at the end of the night. All the participants stay in a house or facility with others after forfeiting the space and time to reflect or ponder things in their own space. It is important to mention that in real life, everything is not as cinematic as it appears.

The camera keeps rolling for the duration of the program and sometimes beyond with social media. Outside considerations, issues, or hiccups are not introduced in these early days of the relationship. The couples do not experience a demanding work schedule, family or friend interference or encouragement, or financial factors. Instead, they are in an ideal situation because many of the factors that play a vital role in early development are missing. Although the ideal environment is nice in many ways for the couple, it is not sustainable for long-term factors that play a pivotal role in an enduring relationship.

Part of the most alluring aspect of a reality dating show is the cinematic effect. From the audacious, theatrical reactions from jealous, competitive pot stirrers to the shining American sweethearts, it is all captivating to watch. Singles should keep the perspective that although these are real people, their actions or reactions are typically the result of encouragement from directors and not how they would handle situations in real life. Dating in real life can sometimes feel like a movie, but it is not the "most dramatic season yet" that many of these shows convey.

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Women, and men at times will find joy in the concept of dressing to the nines for a date to be picture perfect. Although this can be so in real life, it is not typical of dating in real life. Dating shows often present something that is picture-perfect, from high-end outfits to destination date locations. Most couples cannot afford to fly to Italy for handmade pizzas for a Thursday night date, but it is not questioned when it comes to TV. As harmless as it can appear, it is important to remember that comparison can be a thief of joy and a place where the Enemy can seek to bring you down. Don't allow him to convince you that you are less than if you do not meet the standards produced by Hollywood make-up artists. Remember that the heart matters more than the veneers.

True motives are something to contemplate when watching dating shows. Most of the contestants will appear as if they're there to find true love and develop a real, authentic relationship, but it can be hard to know for certain. A tempting level of fame and glamour comes with the show's circumstances. This is not to say that knowing another person's true heart and motives in any dating circumstance is clear, but there are factors to consider when watching "love" on the big screen. In any dating scenario, it is perspective-changing to invite the Lord to reveal the true heart of the other person. 1 Samuel 16:7 shares, "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'" (NIV). Ask the Lord to show you the other person's true heart posture; it may save you heartache or bring you abundant peace.

There is no specific timeline that is a "one-size-fits-all" when it comes to dating, but couples do not usually go from first interaction to engaged in six weeks, as many dating shows offer. Some dating shows completely bypass dating and go straight into marriage, which, unless the couple is married under an arranged marriage format, is incredibly rare. Watching a couple with such an abbreviated timeline can skew what it means to take the time to get to know someone, to experience life with them to know their character, and beyond. The unfortunate result of such quickened timelines is that many of these engagements are called off, marriages ending in divorce, or impractical circumstances are the bedrock of the bond between the two. God can move quickly on His timeline for a couple to come together, but it must be Him setting the pace, not ratings to become the driving force.

Dating shows cultivate high levels of competition that are seldom present in real life. In real life, there can be competition to get someone to notice you or a rival to begin a relationship, but within dating shows, many are competing for one prize. This can alter the understanding of dating in real life, making dating a game and not an invitation to get to know someone for who they truly are. If the goal is a ring, the entire point is being missed; the real goal is finding the mate. God must experience and understand just what Christ meant when comparing the Church to a bride.

Reality dating shows are entertaining, can build friendships amongst those who watch together, and are thought-provoking—but they are not real life. Singles need to keep a healthy awareness that what is conveyed on the screen is not real life—it's fictionalized. Keeping this at the forefront of one's mind can then allow them to not feel discouraged in their own lives or to compare their dating life to one captured behind a camera. Singles, you have a truly one-of-a-kind life, hold this near and dear and watch the lives of others, on television or not, knowing your story is no less wondrous when you entrust your story with Him.