7 Ways to Keep Kindness in Your Marriage This Holiday Season

As the holidays draw close, it is a good time to sit with your spouse and openly discuss your expectations and traditions you would like to carry out as a family. When you aren’t on the same page, it can easily cause stress and lead to tension and friction. However, sharing what you envision for this year’s festivities and actively listening to the heart of your spouse will allow lots of room to honor one another’s needs and grace to welcome forgiveness rather than harbor resentment. In turn, kindness will not be an option, but a sweet gift you exchange with love and purpose.

Planning and preparing for the holiday season can bring on numerous stressors. Knowing what causes those anxious thoughts or emotional flusters to appear ahead of time will equip you to better serve and show gentle kindness to your spouse. If your wife gets frustrated with all the dietary needs of family and out-of-town guests, offer to do the specialized grocery shopping. If your hubby grows annoyed with putting up lights outside with little help, allow the kiddos to step in and offer encouragement. A little planning and prepping for the holiday stressors that tend to steal our joy goes a long way to embracing kindness this time of year.

Between all the shopping, decorating, and meal planning, it’s easy to forget about date nights, much less feel like you have a “budget” for one. After all, this time of year comes with a lengthy list of expenses, and going out for a romantic dinner for two may be out of the question. But there is hope! There are so many unique and fun ways to spice up your marriage while extending kindness to one another. Try a few of these budget-friendly ideas:

-Enjoy a picnic lunch at a park. Many local parks offer fun holiday events for free. Take in the winter sights, just the two of you.

-Put the kids to bed early and cozy up next to the fire with a nice glass of wine or delicious hot cocoa.

-Go shopping for the kids together and hit up your favorite local spot for lunch.

-Read a Christmas devotional together to strengthen your marriage.

-Get creative and attend an art or cooking class together to relieve stress and welcome fun.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Vesnaandjic

Friend, it’s so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season. Many times, this rush to get things done and the urge to host the perfect party can leave us running on empty with little left for the ones we are called to love the most. So, start building up your reserve now by taking a deep breath and realizing that not every day needs to be grand or elaborate. Sure, some days will require more of our energy than others, but be sure to soak in the simple, quiet moments too.

Grace wrapped in humility is a gift we can give and receive year-round. However, when we generously grant grace during a time when emotions naturally run high, nostalgic memories consume our hearts, and there is this undue pressure to make meaningful memories, the gift of grace can be the best form of kindness. That’s because Christmas grace says to our spouse, “I may not fully understand, but I am here and I love you.” It extends warmth through compassion and forgiveness. It meets our spouse in a time of need with an act of love and service. What a sweet gift to give your spouse this year!

Honest question: How often do you show gratitude toward your spouse? Sounds like a simple enough question, yet, if I am being honest, in my own marriage, it isn’t enough. The truth is that a simple “thank you” can really go a long way. Start with sincere words and then build upon them. You can also show your gratitude with little acts of kindness, such as making your wife coffee in the morning or helping your husband finish the Christmas lights outside in the yard.

Last, but surely not least, is the power of our prayers. As we get closer to the holidays, lift up your sweet spouse to our heavenly Father and cover him/her in intentional devotion. Be mindful of her heart’s desires and his needs. Ask for God’s protection over your sacred union and for Him to strengthen your relationship. Seek wisdom and discernment on how to prioritize your marriage and share kindness through intentional words and humble actions.

A Prayer for Your Wife

Father, thank you for the gift of my wife and the love, devotion, and beauty she brings to our family. As we celebrate the holidays with family and friends, please put a hedge of protection around our union and foster a healthy relationship that will allow us to grow deeper in our faith—together. Help me show my wife kindness by being attentive to her heart’s desires and bestowing grace through thoughtful words and gentle actions. Allow me the time to savor the simple moments and just be present with her. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

A Prayer for Your Husband

Father, thank you for the gift of my husband and the love, devotion, and protection he provides. As we celebrate the holidays with family and friends, please surround our union with a hedge of protection and safeguard it from the busyness this season often brings. Help me show my husband kindness by being attentive to his needs and bestowing grace through thoughtful words and heartfelt actions. Allow me the time to savor the simple moments and just be present with him. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Have a kind-hearted Christmas, sweet friend!

Related:

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