8 Bad Marriage Habits to Leave in 2025

Passive-aggressive behavior is subtle, sneaky, and so destructive, and odds are, you’ve used this tactic a time or two. It looks a lot like pretending the argument is over, that forgiveness has truly been exchanged, and then continuing to give your partner the cold shoulder while promising, “I’m fine.”

What I’ve learned about passive-aggressive behavior is that it often comes about when one party still wants to punish the other; they want the upper hand until they are no longer angry. In other words, passive-aggressive behavior is selfishness mixed with anger, and when it’s the tactic you choose to employ, there is no room for self-evaluation. It keeps the focus on the other person and what they may or may not have done, and it never asks you to consider where you might be at fault.

Couples navigating the digital age have a unique set of challenges. Sure, technology has allowed us to call each other more easily, and even FaceTime one another when time and distance keep us apart. However, it allows us to compromise key aspects of communication, like the power of body language and facial expressions. Many things are truly said without words, and when we allow serious, heated conversations to take place behind screens, away from one another, too many things can be missed or, worse, misunderstood.

I’m married to a man who is away for work for half the year, so I understand that not all conversations can wait for days on end. But one thing that has kept us from turning many disagreements into full-blown arguments is saying, “I’m not sharing this to start an argument, but I feel (insert current emotion) because of (insert situation), and I would like to talk about this when you get home.”

(I’ve also found that so many issues I wanted to talk about once he got home weren’t truly even issues. I was simply tired, overstimulated, and on edge from several hard days of him being away.)

My hubby has gone over and beyond with gifts and surprises for me over the years, but it’s the little things that always feel more special. It’s him bringing me my favorite drink when he’s out running errands or leaving a handwritten note for our little family when he’s going to be gone for long trips. It’s heating my car in the winter or making breakfast just so I don’t have to.

The little things are the ways we let each other know that we still care, no matter how many years have gone by. They are the daily sacrifices, no matter how seemingly small, that keep us steady and grounded amid the routine.

As the new year approaches, don’t forget the little things. Each week, find several small ways to let your spouse know they are seen and valued.

Feel free to disagree, but I am a firm believer that marriage is not a 50/50 deal. Some days, you get more sleep, have more personal time, more quiet time, more time to invest in things that bring you joy and renewal. Other days, it’s your spouse’s turn for a calm, peaceful day. Some days, everything that could go wrong for you does, and on other days, your spouse is in that same sinking ship.

Often, these days are more like seasons, days and weeks on end that are hard, and it’s important that you take note of your spouse’s well-being. Are they exhausted from constantly carpooling the kids everywhere? Is your spouse the one who always cooks, cleans, and keeps the house tidy? Do they get up with the babies every night? Are they the ones clocking 40+ hours at the office week after week?

It’s easy to make a mental list of all the ways you are running on empty, but it’s likely your spouse feels the same. Check in with each other, and don’t ignore one another’s burnout. You guys are a team. Some days, you’re carrying the burden, and on other days, they are. Be each other’s support on those burdensome, heavy days.

Photo Courtesy: ©Getty Images/Capuski

My husband thanks me for washing dishes. I thank him for putting in long hours at work. He thanks me when I’m at home watching our toddler day after day. I thank him for always taking out the trash and ensuring our old farmhouse stays in warm, working condition.

It’s easy for us to expect each other to continue with the day-to-day chores, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get old, that they aren’t hard, or that we don’t want to know our efforts are appreciated. When the routine busyness of life is at its peak, it’s all too easy to forget to slow down and appreciate what your spouse does for you.

Would you have clean clothes if they weren’t doing the laundry? Would you have plenty of firewood to keep everyone warm if they weren’t outside chopping down trees?

Take some time to consider just how much your spouse does every day, and this year, be more conscientious of sharing your gratitude with them.

I had a hard time typing this one out because it’s like preaching to the choir, but it’s easy to prioritize your children over your marriage. However, I’ve learned that outside of the relationship between Christ and His Church, there isn’t a more honored bond than a God-ordained marriage between a man and a woman. It’s a holy covenant that’s so special that Christ calls us His Bride, and He our Bridegroom (see Matthew 25).

Folks, if your marriage is placed on the back burner, your children will pay the price. When you and your spouse aren’t showing each other sacrificial love, finding joy and cultivating hope in life’s highs and lows, what example will your kids have to mimic? How we treat one another will shape how they believe they should treat others, and how they should be treated by others.

Marriage is powerful, so don’t neglect its beauty and worth by placing your children above your spouse.

Nothing has been more attractive than watching my husband lead a life group, show up on a random Tuesday to fix a toilet at our church, or stop what he’s doing to let strangers feel seen and loved. Serving others is powerful, which means it’s a powerful bond when couples serve together. Even more powerful is going to God in prayer, especially together. As the well-known Scripture says, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20, NIV).

This new year, find special ways that you and your spouse can serve the community together. Set aside designated time for routine prayer together as well. Perhaps it’s each night right before you go to bed, or whenever the two of you have quiet time in the car.

Don’t let another year go by when you don’t access the beautiful power of serving and praying together. Let God unlock special blessings through this unique spiritual experience you get to share.

There are seasons when date nights and quality time with your spouse seem impossible, whether it’s the newborn season or a time in life when careers are demanding. Trust me, I get it. I can count on one hand the number of dates my husband and I have been on this year.

This understanding means that I recognize how crucial one-on-one time is. It allows you to connect with each other concerning things that aren’t centered on the kids, finances, to-do lists, etc. It’s simply time for the two of you to share food, laughs, and unique experiences, reminding you that marriage is fun and that you are truly blessed to do life with your best friend.

You don’t have to spend loads of money or dress up fancy. Find special ways for the two of you to enjoy each other’s company. Meanwhile, commit to making these date nights a bi-monthly or monthly part of your routine, or else you’ll too easily make excuses to skip.

New Year, Same Spouse

It’s a new year, but you still get to do life with your best friend with whom you’ve entered a forever covenant. Don’t take this relationship lightly, but don’t forget to have fun!