5 Powerful Changes to Make in Your Marriage Next Year

Research now suggests that couples who pray together stay together - the decision to commit to praying as a couple is a powerful one. This rhythm allows more space for daily communication between you and your spouse, helping you to remain close as a couple. Another benefit of regular shared prayer time is that bringing your concerns to Jesus together takes the blame away from your partner. It allows you a chance to address problems that you face with a mutual understanding, and you can lay them down before the Lord, instead of pinning the cause of your worries onto your spouse.

I love that God is so faithful to honor this simple act. Through him, we have all we need to remain loyal to our marriage vows. Find a time of day that works for you and commit to praying together. Invite Jesus to be at the center of your relationship this year.

Numerous things must be managed in our homes, and often we are so busy that we fail to ensure we are on the same page. Weekly, intentional, and more structured check-ins can help mitigate miscommunication that can lead to hurt and conflict.

Pick a day and time to sit down together each week to share your calendar, discuss upcoming expenses, and address concerns about children and work. This may be a good opportunity to clear up any miscommunications you have experienced over the course of the week, and to share any unaddressed hurts or concerns. This clinical check-in is designed to clear the air and to stay on the same page as a couple. It’s amazing how just 20 to 30 minutes a week of uninterrupted and intentional communication can transform your marriage!

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Regular fun together could be a regular date night. Still, it could also be sharing a family adventure, scheduling an evening movie night, an afternoon coffee meet-up during the week, or even a shared gym session. You could make dinner together, clean the house with your favorite soundtrack in the background, or bake something enjoyable for the family to savor. Fun doesn’t always have to be elaborate, but usually it does require a commitment to entering an activity with a light heart and setting aside the stressors that cause us to be tense.

Shared fun benefits us in many ways. Fun reinforces our social bonds, which leads to greater closeness and intimacy. Fun reminds us, as we age, that we are more than just our to-do list. Adult life is so busy, and we can get bogged down in our responsibilities that we forget just to be together. Fun reminds us that we are enjoyable people with interests, personalities, and who were made to take delight in life.

Maybe my husband and I are just slow learners, but we’ve found ourselves back in couples counseling on numerous occasions throughout our marriage. What I suspect is that we are not the only ones who would benefit from intermittent seasons of intentionality and accountability in marriage.

First life offers us a variety of challenges that we don’t always have the skills to overcome on our own. A neutral third party can be a powerful agent for change when we are stuck in a rut, forgiveness is required, unity can’t be achieved, when trust has been broken, or skills are lacking. When a new issue arises, inviting wise counsel into your relationship can prevent small issues from escalating into massive problems that can threaten to consume your marriage over time.

Some cycles are hard to break, and over time, it’s so easy to fall back into the same ruts that lead to aggravation, hurt, and conflict. Going back to a counselor to address the issues or to break the negative cycle that has resurfaced again is a worthwhile effort. There is no limit to the amount of time and effort you can continue to invest in your relationship, but as broken people, there is also no limit to the ways we can hurt each other.

Don’t give up, get busy finding the advice, support, and accountability you need. As long as you both stay willing to do the hard work of loving each other over the course of a lifetime, there is still hope for your marriage. Maybe this is the year you go to counseling for the first time or return to counseling again to find freedom from the negative patterns that are holding your marriage back from being the blessing it is supposed to be in each of your lives.

Life is not meant to be done alone. Marriage requires the support of others! Put effort into finding your Christian village to rely on. Find those who also value marriage, will keep you accountable, and encourage you in your faith and relationship.

Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

There have been many seasons in our marriage when we have relied on our small group to remind us of the value of our marriage. They have encouraged us to persevere, to forgive, to find wise counsel, and not to give up when things felt overwhelming. You need people around you who will pray for you, fight alongside you for the breakthrough you need in your home, and who will remind you that God put you with your spouse on purpose with a purpose.

Perhaps you meet these people through church, a Bible study, or you have neighbors who also love Jesus with whom you can be accountable, or friends with whom you are close enough to share your struggles. Pray and ask God to bring other couples around you that you can do life with in this new year.