3 Things Christian Women in College Need to Remember
- MacKenzie Wilson and MacKenzie Baker
- 2019 16 Aug
There’s no doubt that the terrain of college life can be precarious for anyone. The duality of freedom and responsibility seems impossible to manage. But what, do you think, is the biggest issue facing college woman? What is the sole thing that is stunting their spiritual growth the most? Insecurity? Busy schedules? Temptations?
We could all come up with a list of things that women in college battle with daily—weapons the enemy uses to distract and deter. However, we believe there is one root of all these issues: college women have commitment issues: they are simultaneously over committed and under committed.
In college there is an unspoken culture of busyness. The idea that the only worthy schedule is one that is overflowing with social and academic events is ingrained into students from the first week of school. So, they buy into the idea and sign up for clubs, sororities and honors societies. They say yes to weekend trips and weekday parties; they make coffee dates, join a church and start a Bible study. Soon, their calendars have no white space at all and for a second they are satisfied. Then pride creeps in.
“How are you?”
We’ve all said it. We’ve all loved saying it. Women want to feel loved. They want to feel like they matter and for a minute—or maybe for four years, a full schedule fools them into thinking it can give them that rush.
But here’s the issue: though many are over committed, the larger problem is that they are only halfway committed—stuck in a lethal cycle of saying yes and giving 50%. They are selling themselves short by staying on the outskirts in their communities, churches and personal faith walks.
Here are 3 things college women really need to commit to doing:
1. Participate in Genuine Community.
Everyone wants a home team—a group of people to come to on their worst days and to celebrate them on their best. However, there is a pattern of surface level relationships amongst some college women. Distractions are coming at them in lapping waves; they sit across the table from each other, but their heads are down, their fingers scrolling. Social media pulls them away from being present and diving deep into genuine relationships.
Many college women often confuse the idea of “good” community with a big social circle. The two are not synonymous. In fact, spreading themselves too thin relationally will leave them with weaker friendships that can often feel lonely and isolated. If they want a shift in the depth of their relationships, it is vital to value quality of friends over external popularity. By committing to community, they create a safe atmosphere with people they can rely on, people that see all of them, and will love them when they’re having trouble loving themselves.
2. Get Plugged into a Church Family.
As college students, no one is waking them up on Sunday to make it to the 9 a.m. service. So, unless they believe in the power of gathering with other believers, they likely won’t make it to church. More common amongst Christian college students, however, is a no strings attached relationship with a church in their college town. They show up on Sundays when it’s convenient but rarely serve. They go to a Bible study occasionally because they’re invited but usually not enough to form deep relationships or share more than surface level struggles.
Less commitment, less accountability—it’s appealing but it’s also dangerous. By not planting roots in a church, they are missing out on one of the biggest opportunities for positive change in their own hearts and lives. Investing in a church allows them to experience necessary growing pains through a community that is committed to repositioning their hearts to align with their Creator’s.
3. Understand Their Faith and Need for Discipleship.
Much like the option to invest in a church, college students are presented with the likely unfamiliar responsibility of their faith being completely their own and challenged daily by their environment. Women start to believe they have freedom to pick and choose what parts of Scripture they want to follow. They want to live in their Savior’s grace but forget His justice, too afraid to abandon their own life for the sake of the gospel. Repetitive sin without confession or repentance is all too common in Christian college students, which is why discipleship is so important.
Living a life without accountability in discipleship can create a very self-consuming lifestyle. When you are living in sin that is talked about in Scripture, you will have trouble hearing from Him, experiencing the love He has for you, the direction He has for you, and will end up very lost.
College is tough and striking the balance of everything may seem impossible. What’s hindering college women now more than ever is their unhealthy relationship with commitment. So how does one rearrange their priority list?
-Pick a few things and go deep.
-Set boundaries, allow yourself to settle in emotionally and spiritually.
-Practice shifting your mindset from a longing for more to an understanding that less is more.
We believe that college women are called into places where they can be known deeply, places that they love investing in and where they feel challenged.
MacKenzie Wilson (Mac) and MacKenzie Baker (Kenz) are entrepreneurs, podcasters, authors, and the founders of Delight Ministries, an organization that empowers, educates and provides a community for college women across the United States. Delight Ministries is on a mission to invite college women into a Christ- centered community that fosters vulnerability and transforms lives. Driven by the power of stories to move, inspire, and change, Delight’s curriculum and semester-phased book series merge real accounts on relevant topics with scripture and thoughtful questions to inspire conversation, complemented by an app encouraging further engagement. Today Delight Ministries has supported the launch of chapters on 140 college campuses nationwide and in the United Kingdom and Uganda, enriching the lives of thousands of members with deep friendships forged through open, honest, and vulnerable conversations.
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