4 Ways to Teach Your Children about Gratitude
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- Published Nov 09, 2023
Once upon a time, children anticipated the arrival of the Sears catalog announcing the holiday season. The magazine eventually gave way to Toys R US flyers, which took a back seat to Saturday morning toy commercials, and now, with a simple click, children can pursue endless items to fill their wishlists. Honestly, I wouldn’t be so upset if my children only expressed their intense “I want,” or “I need,” or the “ I have to have” only at Christmas time. But–insert dramatic sigh– these desires are not reserved for birthdays and holidays but a general disposition of greed in my children’s hearts.
After a day of saying “no” more times than I could count, I shared with my husband my irritation and disappointment in our children’s sense of entitlement and ungratefulness. “We want to provide for our children, give them opportunities, and make their lives enjoyable and comfortable. But how do we do that while preventing a sense of entitlement and fostering genuine gratitude?” I asked my husband.
Even among the body of believers who strive to guard their hearts against excess consumerism, the reality is for many, our resources are abundant. There’s nothing wrong with having a career that provides financial stability or providing our families with experiences and resources to make their lives easier and better. But as parents, it's our job to foster a heart of gratitude no matter the circumstances.
Here Are 4 Ways to Teach Your Children Gratitude:
1. Practice Gratitude Yourself
Have you heard the term, “It’s not what’s taught but what’s caught?” Our children are impacted more by how we live our lives than by the mini-sermons, lessons, and general advice we share. We shouldn’t neglect to speak Truth over them, but all will be lost if we don’t “practice what we preach.” Do we grumble when our spouse announces it’s taco night at home, asking why we can’t just go out to dinner?
Do we care for our clothes, furniture, and other household items? Or do we treat them as replaceable? Do we readily give our time and money to help others or complain about where we could have spent our resources?
We must be hyper-aware that our children are always watching us; they are taking it all in. And for a generation that is less churched and openly opposed to religion due to the immense hypocrisy they’ve experienced, as parents, we must not be only hearers of the Word but doers (James 1:22-25).
2. Set the Expectations
Just like setting the example of gratitude for our children, we must also set expectations. If we take our children for ice cream every day after school, it is natural that they would be upset when we bypass the local creamery. When they get a toy every time they go to the store, then it’s understandable they expect bigger and better gifts for special holidays. When we say yes to their every desire, then, of course, they will foster an attitude of expectation.
I heard a parent once comment that for many of our children, every day is a party between church, schools, friends, and our homes; we have made life so comfortable that our children struggle when there’s nothing to keep them entertained. The same is true for gratitude. When our kids constantly have their needs and wants fulfilled, it is difficult for them to see how they are truly blessed. There is a healthy tension between providing opportunities for our children and giving them everything they desire.
As parents, we must work to cultivate gratitude by not giving our children everything they want, holding back even when we can, and helping them learn to make choices around their wants and desires.
3. Give Back
Engaging in service opportunities is a great way to foster gratitude in our children. Teach your children what it means to foster your resources well and that God desires those who have an abundance to help others. Help our children understand that there are needs around us; we can serve our families, community, city, and even country!
- Create a list of things that need to be done around the house. Encourage your children to pick 2 or 3 tasks on the list and complete them without complaining.
- Pack up the family and take an afternoon doing yard work for a shut-in at your church.
- Volunteer at the local soup kitchen, animal shelter, or Salvation Army. There are numerous tasks your children can participate in, depending on their age.
The opportunities are numerous to serve others. Ask your children about their interests, and develop a plan for serving others consistently.
4. Make a List
In November, my social media feed is filled with gratitude lists, which are only quickly abandoned as we move into the New Year. Why not keep a running list of all you must be grateful for?
- Grab a dry-erase marker and keep a list on the mirror.
- Paint a wall with chalkboard paint and write something new each day.
- Snag a pack of sticky notes and write something you are thankful for each day, creating a collage of all your blessings.
- Place change in the jar each morning, naming something you are thankful for. At the end of the year, donate the money to your favorite charity.
- Make a “thankful” tree. Turn your Christmas Tree into a year-round reminder to be grateful. Make ornaments of paper tags and write down everything you are thankful for.
Teaching our children gratitude doesn’t have to be all lectures; bullying them into thankfulness won't have lasting effects. The goal is for a mind shift and a heart change. We desire to see everything we have as a gift from our Heavenly Father. Gratitude is not just a few pleasantries, a quip of thank you, or even a thoughtful note. True thankfulness is a lifestyle; it is a way of being.
If you find that your children, or perhaps even yourself, struggle with gratitude, take inventory and create a plan to foster thankfulness. We have much to be thankful for; sometimes, we just need some help remembering.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/sarahwolfephotography
