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Is Getting What You Want Leaving You Empty?

Is Getting What You Want Leaving You Empty?
  • Updated Sep 25, 2024

Some friends wanted a house in an up-and-coming neighborhood in our city. It had amazing schools, great shopping areas, and was super safe.

So they searched and worked, and they finally got a place there. But once they got there, they started to realize some downsides. Everyone wanted to live there.

So traffic was a nightmare. The cost of living had surged. It was super expensive.

The shopping areas were so good that they were constantly crowded. So, as they were talking about the challenges of living there, it kind of reminded me of my life. How many times I've gotten what I wanted, but it wasn't all I thought it would be.

I'm guessing you can relate. Many of us are living the life we dreamed of having years ago, but now that we have it, it's way more stressful than we thought it would be.

I hear from lots of people who accomplished their major life goals that took them years. But when they finally got the thing they wanted, the house, the job, or the car, it wasn't anything like they thought it would be. But they spent years with that thing as their primary goal, and now they feel a bit empty.

Sometimes, people even tell me I don't know if I want this anymore. Thomas Merton once said that people may spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find once they reach the top that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall. King Solomon makes that exact point in Ecclesiastes 2 10 through 11 when he says; I denied myself nothing my eyes desired.

I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart was delighted by all my labor, which was the reward for all my toil. Yet everything was meaningless when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve.

A chasing after the wind. Nothing was gained under the sun. There is nothing wrong with having nice things.

There's nothing wrong with working hard to improve your life and pursue goals. But King Solomon says we have to keep all those things in perspective. When it comes down to it, life here under the sun isn't all there is.

There are eternal issues, and there are heavenly issues at play here that are what's most important. And if we spend our entire lives going after all the physical things we want but don't pay attention to the higher things, to God's priorities, we may get everything we wanted, but we'll still find we feel empty. Jesus even said in Mark 4 that if we aren't careful, the cares of the world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things can enter and choke the word, which proves unfruitful.

Part 1: Wisdom for When You Want to Check Out
Part 2: Finding Contentment in a World Full of Achievement
Part 3: Is Getting What You Want Leaving You Empty?
Part 4: How to Protect Yourself from Foolish People
Part 5: Do You Feel Like Life Is Moving on without You?

Photo Credit: SWN Design


headshot of author Joel MalmJoël Malm is the founder of Summit Leaders where he uses outdoor adventure and leadership coaching to help people find their calling and pursue a vision for their lives. His expeditions have taken him around the world to places like Mt. Kilimanjaro, Grand Canyon, and Machu Picchu. He has traveled in over seventy countries on six continents and speaks three languages. He holds a B.A. in Political Science and an M.S. in Counseling.
He speaks at churches, conferences, and corporate events around the country and is the author of seven books, including Vision Map (Moody Press), Connecting the Dots, and Keep It Light. (Salem/Regnery) He and his wife Emily and daughter Elise live in Texas.
Find out more at: http://joelmalm.com