ADMITTING WHO I WAS
Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Psalm 127:1
It took me 47 years to discover some things about my rich spiritual history and birthright. Until I embraced it as mine, my life’s ‘house’ was constructed with some destitute building materials. Because I had not seized the meaning of my spiritual adoption and understood the full ramifications of God’s radical love for me, I worked for His approval. I labored too long in a travail that took its toll. It was self-abusive. I learned about my Father’s level of grief over the ways I suffered needlessly. I did not know much of anything about grace. Living the ‘victorious Christian life’ meant impeccable performance. God had to teach me that it really means ‘living life loved’.
The kindest thing my Father did was to give me the choice to cooperate with Him in the dismantling of my impressive looking, but diseased internal world. It was painful to examine it all in the dis-assembly. It took three years. I discovered what was missing. I did not know that I could build my life on the Father’s foundation of love, security, and the joy of obedience. Instead, my life’s foundation was built on sheer grit, framed with impossible expectations, and nailed together with anger and loneliness.
Know this! He cheers us on as we grow in stature as His children of promise. He delights to see us discover the truths He knows will bring freedom. I imagine Him rubbing His hands in anticipation when it looks like we are about to discover another secret of His heart. I am moved by the thought of us giving our Father joy as we discover all He has for us. He must be beside Himself when we finally learn that we can live resiliently in His kingdom. The secret? Knowing how to go home and heal, daily, from the ravages of life in a world where God is not yet acknowledged as King.
Your heart is my home. I’m so glad I can be myself, take my shoes off and curl up in my favorite chair. Your stories and teaching have changed the way I live life, forever. Amen.
For more from Christine Wyrtzen and Jaime Wyrtzen Lauze, please visit www.daughtersofpromise.org