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Discover the Book - Oct. 20, 2009

  • 2009 Oct 20

Grace-Energized Wives Love Their Husbands

Among the Bible-believing women of the first century, there was a big challenge in "loving" their husbands. For various reasons and in various degrees those women found themselves with either minimal or no "feelings of love" for their husbands.  

Those believing wives in the early church, like those today, almost always want to obey the Lord, thus they submit and fulfill their responsibilities to their husbands—but often only dutifully and not lovingly. It's not just that loving your husband is a virtue; Paul says that not loving him in a way that he can feel is a sin

Women were also commanded to obediently submit respectfully to their own husbands (Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18). Peter adds that they were to cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit that was beautiful to God and of immense value in the marriage (I Peter 3:4).  This was the reciprocal relationship of a godly marriage on a behavioral level. The commanded attitudes and behavior of believers in marriage is the foundation and the formula for a Christian marriage. But soon it gets back to dutiful, obedient, often unemotional, and detached relationships. So Paul says that it was imperative to go further. Titus is given the key to flourishing marriages and homes—train the younger women in how to cultivate a loving friendship (phileo) with their husbands. This is emotional love.  

When the younger women saw how the older women loved, respected, admired, and were best friends with their husbands, they were drawn to see that close and intimate friendships with husbands were possible and very profitable for daily life. They learned how to encourage their own husband, how to build him up, how to surprise him with their affections, and how to cultivate a life-long growing and deepening friendship. What was the first lesson Paul asks to be taught to the younger women? 

What are some practical steps a Titus two woman mentoring a younger woman in the faith would teach? Here are some simple habits that a godly older woman actually sat down and taught my own wife when we were newlyweds living in California. 

First, this godly Titus two woman sat Bonnie down and said there are three specific choices that make a wonderful start:

   1. Decide that you will make your own husband your number one most important human relationship of life over all others including your parents, brothers, sisters, and friends.

   2. Start to seek your husband's friendship and love ahead of all other human relationships, including your children.

   3. Begin examining your lifestyle and schedule to see if you are intentionally "spoiling your husband rotten" if you are doing so as a way of life, then you can be sure that you are his best friend and are truly "loving" your husband. 

Copy and paste this URL into your browser bar to continue reading and find out how you can do to maintain such a high calling from God to love your husband:

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