1 Samuel 25
We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
When other people put us at risk or cause us pain, we may feel like there's nothing we can do. We may feel very comfortable in the role of victim and give in to our feelings of helplessness.
Abigail is a good example of someone who didn't give in to helplessness but had the wisdom to know what she could and couldn't change. Her husband, Nabal (which means "fool"), was "crude and mean in all his dealings" (1 Samuel 25:3). Before David became king, Nabal insulted his troops to the point that David and his men were on their way to kill him and anyone who got in their way. Through some fast thinking and some even faster talking, Abigail protected her family. She convinced David not to take vengeance into his own hands. A few weeks later Nabal was dead of natural, or perhaps supernatural, causes and Abigail became David's wife.
As part of our inventory, we might examine how we deal with other people who endanger us. Do we fall into the victim role and do nothing to protect ourselves from the results of their actions? Do we accept that we can't change them, or just resolve to try harder in our crusade? Acceptance of another's addiction or personality doesn't mean that we have to accept being the victim of their wrongs. We can give up our crusade to change them, without giving up our right to be treated with dignity.
We can improve our circumstances in life without demanding radical changes in the people close to us.