{The Great Imbalance}
truth about the love/hate of female relationships

There is a great imbalance in many female relationships.

Sometimes, we are too important to each other. Other times, we don't like each other and resist community, altogether.

Female friendships are difficult to maneuver. This we know and have been told. But there's more to it, really. Because of our own baggage...our own grapplings with life and love and trust and needs and fulfillment, we make our friendships either too important or not important enough.

It's an imbalance, and it can lead to some significant things:
~ Distrust of all females, in general.
~ Unhealthy attachment to someone.
~ Giving control of our emotions over to another.

Anytime our friendships determine the way we manage life, weigh our worth, or drive our feelings, we have allowed an imbalance to be created. It is at this point we must be willing to see how we can change so that we can learn to come into relationships from a place of health. Otherwise, the scale stays imbalanced. We will deny the opportunity to feel the companioned presence of another or give too much of ourselves away for their approval.

Friends, it is a beautiful thing to have female friends to walk this journey with us. They are profitable. Valuable. To some degree, even...necessary.

But they are not to be our god. They cannot become the way we measure our worth. If we lose them, we cannot lose ourselves.

On the other side of the scales, we cannot close ourselves up from them because a female that couldn't be trusted broke our heart or once turned us away.

The answer then becomes this: Appreciation for the gift of friendship. Enjoyment of the presence of understanding, love and laughter, found in another. And balance to keep things in perspective.

It is not that friendships aren't important. It's just that they can't be the most important. It's not that females can't be trusted. It's just that they don't deserve a trust that is only reserved for Jesus.

Jesus: the great balancer. Supplier of community. Originator of healthy friendships.

Give your female relationships over to Him. Ask Him to balance the scales. And then trust Him to open up your heart just wide enough to honor the presence of another.

Resources...

Behind Those Eyes by Lisa Whittle

Friendship for Grown-Ups: What I Missed and Learned Along the Way by Lisa Whelchel

Lisa Whittle is huge fan of healthy female companionship and love, including the one she has with her fluffy female dog, Maggie. She is the Type A type, learning to be more of the Jesus type. You can find out more about her community, join her mailing list, and get priority updates on her new book, {w}hole by visiting her website at www.lisawhittle.com

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© 2011 by Lisa Whittle. All rights reserved.

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