Jennifer Maggio

Christmas is my favorite holiday of the year. Those who know me will attest to that fact.  I begin my holiday planning in October. I'm singing Christmas carols at the first hint of a fallen leaf! I start thinking about Christmas décor and holiday gatherings mid-year. I make lists of friends and neighbors that I'd like to bake some goodies for. I relish the day it turns cold, so I can bring out a scarf or sweater. (We Southerners don't get much cold weather here, so we take every advantage of being able to pull out our boots and sweaters when it crests below 60 degrees!) I love hot cocoa and apple cider and the smell of cinnamon and pumpkin pie and apple pie and... well...you get the point! 

But I also fully recognize that the holiday season can conjure feelings of regret or disappointment. Maybe the holidays serve as a reminder of a different time in your life or the hope of something that once was, but is no more. The Christmas season can bring both joy and pain. The laughter of children wrestling in the bedroom during their school break can also be peppered with tears of anger, as you reflect on a dad that isn't there to hear it. I get it. I really do.  I have had those same tears of joy and sorrow, anger, and laughter.  I have sat in the bedroom alone on Christmas day, hoping someone would invite me to lunch. I've also sat in the home of someone who did invite me, fighting back the tears because I felt so sorry for myself and my children that their family wasn't my family.   

This time of year can also make me mad and sad, too. I'm sad that commercialism surrounding the Christmas season brings even more pressure to an already tight budget and a single mom who's doing all she can to make ends meet. I'm sad that children will be without their fathers on this day due to death or a relationship that failed. I'm angry that some will choose to ignore their children on this special day. I'm sad that I can't physically hug every single one of you who feels this way.  But you and I have some choices to make this season.  

Will we allow the joy of the Christmas season (or Easter or Mother's Day or Valentine's Day or any other holiday for that matter) to be dictated by a past that didn't shape up the way we planned? Will we allow Satan to lie to us and tell us no one cares or sees that we are forgotten and abandoned? Will we rehash the holidays of yesteryear, or will we determine to make new traditions with our family? Will we focus on lack or love? Will we choose to make today about the Savior of the world or the brokenness of the world?  

This season is the season to end all seasons. It is THE season! Christ was born that we may be set free. Christ was born that we may celebrate eternity with the Lord. Christ was born that we – those who would otherwise have no hope – may have hope. His birth is our fortress, our reason for living. Christmas isn't about the number of presents under the tree, or whether you even have a tree. It isn't even about sharing the day with a house full of guests. It's about choosing to focus on the sacrifice our Heavenly Father made and the immense love He has for each one of us that compelled him to send Jesus. Make today a celebration.   

That celebration could come in a thousand different ways. If you are spending the day away from your children, make it a point to reach out to a friend to visit with. Choose to go to the nursing home or homeless shelter to visit with those who may be lonely. Spend the day in bed watching old movies. Journal 10 things that God has done for you this year.  List all your hopes and dreams for your children's future. Go outside and get some fresh air! Bake some holiday goodies. Sing Christmas Carols with the kids. Be creative. You have the choice to make this Christmas season the most memorable one you've ever experienced.  

Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others. 

Have you ever wondered if you are in alignment with God’s instruction? Have you wondered if that little voice in your head was the devil or God? Have you heard something in your spirit man, then second-guessed whether or not it was God? Or maybe you’ve wondered whether or not you were in God’s will?  

Some of us have even cried out to God in our journey with questions, like, “Where are you? Do you hear me? Do you even care?” 

 Today, I want to give you 9 principles of learning to truly hear the voice of God in your life.  

1. Don’t be double minded // James 1:5-8 says “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.”  Your faith cannot be in your job, relationship status, parents, grandparents, the pastor, or your church, and then expect to be able to sit and hear the voice of God. Your faith must stand in God alone. He knows your heart. He knows when you really desire to please him and really do want wisdom about a matter. God will not withhold good gifts from his children. He wants you to seek him and trust him. He wants to talk to you, so do not be double-minded. Do not be a fair-weather Christian. Do not simply seek God’s voice and attempt to honor him, when it’s convenient or easy. Seek to honor him and obey him, even when you are having to stand against the crowd or even when it means you are going to have to walk out an increased measure of faith. This is especially true, when God is asking obedience of you, when it seems to make no sense in the natural.  

2. Practice obedience // There are two components of practicing obedience. 
   
   The first component is in laying down sin. This is going to be obeying what God has said to do in His written word, what he has already laid out long ago. The Bible gives us instruction of what is pleasing to the Lord and what dishonors him. If we don’t lay down sin, it clouds our view. It muddles what we can actually hear. In order to hear clearly, we must remove any barriers of sin in our lives.
   
   The second component of obedience is in obeying new instruction by the Holy Spirit. This means not only practicing what the Word has told us, but also following the prompting of the Holy Spirit through your own life, when we are asked to do something.   
   
   There is instruction from the written word of God (known as Logos), e.g. do not commit adultery. Likewise, there is instruction through the Spirit of God (known as a Rhema word), e.g. don't go to Sarah’s house tonight. Both logos and rhema are the Word of God, but the former is God's Word recorded in the Bible, while the latter is the Word of God spoken to us at a specific occasion. It gives us specific instruction through the Holy Spirt. We must practice obedience. God knows our heart, so don’t worry about getting it wrong, as long as you are trying. We must follow what both the written word of God and the spoken work of God prompt. 

3. Practice listening // John 10:27 says, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”  The more you hear someone’s voice, the more you begin to recognize them. The more time you spend with them, the more you get to know them. Develop space in your life to simply listen. God speaks to those who are willing to listen. Listening is done, when you are not talking. You cannot talk and listen at the same time. In the same way, you cannot hear the voice of God while you are talking. Prayer time should consist of you praying to the Lord – honoring, worshiping, adoring - AND you being quiet and hearing what He drops in your spirit.  

4. Practice Spiritual disciplines // Prayer. Fasting. Praise. Worship. Tithes and offerings. Church attendance. Read Mark 9:14-29. We are able to hear more clearly from the Lord, as we engage with our spiritual disciplines.  

5. Test the voice against the Scriptures // God speaks the way He writes. If what you are hearing does not line up with God’s Word, then it is likely a lying spirit, which is a tactic of the enemy to keep you confused. For example, a woman is living with her nonbelieving boyfriend. She says, “Well God told me that I was put into his life to minister to him, to help get him saved.” Yet, we know God’s Word says for us not to be unequally yoked, as well as to not live in sexual sin. This could be an example of her hearing what she wants to hear, instead of truly seeking the Lord.  

6. Humble yourself // Live a fully surrendered life to the Lord. Live in child-like faith. Do not operate with a religious spirit. Do not think you know everything. Do not think you have arrived on your Christian journey. Do not think you have heard it all. We are all growing. The ways of God are mysterious. God is always moving in new ways. We must humble ourselves before the Lord and lay down all pride, self-righteousness, and piety.  

7. Pray for increase of the spiritual gifts // Ask the Lord to increase in you a discerning of spirits and wisdom. This will allow you to you to know when a lying spirit or a spirit of fear is present. This will allow you to operate in wisdom, beyond your years, education, or knowledge. This will allow you to know things you couldn’t have known otherwise, but through the gifts of the spirit. The more we use our gifts and sharpen them, the more clearly we’ll discern God’s voice. 

8. Follow peace // God is a God of order, not chaos. Now, let me be clear. God will speak to you to do things that are uncomfortable. I did not say follow comfort. Peace is in the knowing that even though you don’t understand the instruction or how it will work out or why you’ve been asked to do a certain thing, there is an unexplainable peace in your spirit man.  

9. Where the Spirit is, the fruits are // Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” This lets us know that when God is speaking, His fruits will flow. There will be peace. There will be kindness. There will be patience.  
    

If you want some practice with listening to the voice of God, try these simple steps: 

1. Wait and be still, removing all distractions. 

2. Listen.  

3. Be specific about any sin that the Lord reveals. 

4. Ask for forgiveness. 

5. Write down what the Lord says.   

Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others. 

By the time I was 21 years old, I had suffered a lifetime of disappointments. Both of my parents were dead, as well as all my grandparents and most of my aunts and uncles. I had seen more death than most do in a lifetime. I was pregnant multiple times outside of marriage, which carries its own shame and embarrassment. I had been homeless, lived on government assistance, and struggled to put food on the table as a single mom. I had already parented alone for several years and had no way of knowing that I would go on to parent even more years alone. And all of those things shaped me and molded me with fear.  

But the journey I embarked upon a few years back was far worse than I could have even imagined. Ten years ago, I decided to walk away from my comfy job in Corporate America and accept this call on my life to minister to single moms nationally. I was scared and felt ill-equipped, but I did it anyway. Three single moms showed up in my living room. I didn't know what to say to them. They looked at me. I looked at them. It was hard. 

3 moms, turned into 75 single moms, then 75 single moms, turned into 500 single moms. And the ministry quickly grew. Before long, our ministry was ministering to multiple thousands around the globe, but for every success, I experienced in ministry, there was an even bigger attack personally.  

First, there seemed to always be more debt than dollars. Then, my children were plagued with countless unforeseen surgeries, and there was even less money. And then there were the difficult teen years that I was parenting through, where I failed miserably, many days. And the times I secretly wanted to quit ministry altogether, because I didn't feel I measured up.  

And then there was that time, in August of 2016, when I lost everything I owned in the historic flooding that happened in Louisiana that you likely didn't even hear about. Standing in soiled clothes, crying, as you work 18 hours a day to drag every piece of furniture you've ever owned to the street, is hard. Looking at baby pictures of your children that you know you will never own again is hard. And if I'm being honest, fear swept over me. In all those instances, fear suffocated me.  

Fear had beaten me down and strangled the life from me. It was gradual, and I usually masked it well. But most days, I spent my time crying uncontrollably. That's what fear does. It strangles, immobilizes, subtracts, withers, crushes, and shatters. It grips our soul and snatches every dream. What once was the joy of the Lord somehow becomes replaced with anger and hopelessness. Fear encourages us to give up and accept the misery of existence versus the excitement of a God-led pursuit. 

Many single moms are struggling with fear and allowing it to take your voice and strangle you today. Yet, your Father in Heaven paid for you to have an abundant life, free from fear and worry and anxiety. There are three things that we can do that will allows us to master fear and move into the freedom Christ paid for us to have. 

1. Acknowledge what fear is // If fear didn't come from the Lord, then who gave it to us? As Christians, we must understand that fear was given to us by Satan as a mere tactic to keep us distracted and, of course, for the plans the Lord has for us. We must understand it for what is, then realize we have the authority to dispel fear with the power of Christ's shed blood.  
   
   "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and sound mind.” (1 Timothy 1:7) 

2. Seek God until he takes away our fears // Keep pursuing freedom from fear, even when everything around you seems scary and hopeless and endless. Keep asking God to deliver you from the fear that is being forced upon you.  
   
   “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will open.” (Matthew 7:7-8)

3. Speak the truth. Speak truth over your fear, even when you don't feel like, even when it seems impossible, and even when it's the hardest thing you've ever done. When Moses died, I am sure that Joshua was afraid of what God was now calling him to do in the book of Joshua. I am sure he had no idea of how he would lead the Israelites. He never expected to be in that situation. Do you find yourself in an unexpected situation today? Are you fearful of your future? Your kid's choices? Your finances? Your marriage? Your singleness? God's word promises you victory, authority, and strength.
   
   “No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.” (Joshua 1:5)  

Don't clamor in a corner like one with no hope. You are a daughter of the King of Kings. You are more than a conqueror in Christ. That challenge, that thing you are facing, is not bigger than your God. He will never leave you. When fear comes for you, don't retreat and allow it to strangle you. Get ready for war. Wage war against the evil one who has attempted to lie to you and steal the joy God has paid for you to have. Take authority and stand against it.  

 

First seen on iBelieve. 

Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others.