10 Ways to Embrace your Singleness
Ten Ways to Embrace the Benefits of Your Singleness
The Apostle Paul writes in I Corinthians 7:8, “So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows – it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.” Why did he say that, and why does it sometimes seem that it is harder to embrace singleness than it is to celebrate being married or in a relationship?! If we are not careful, we can treat singleness as some sort of death sentence or plague that has been forced upon us, rather than looking at it as a unique time of celebration. There is a season for everything under the sun. Ecclesiastes 3:1. Singleness is a season. It is a time to experience some real benefits that you can no longer experience once you are married. What are the benefits of singleness, and how can you enjoy each and every one? Read on….
1. Self-evaluation is now. Who are you? What do you want from life? What are the things that are most important to you? What are some great choices you have made in life? Poor choices? Your singleness is a time to reflect on who you are and what matters to you.
2. Grow. Not only is this a time of self-evaluation, but it is also a time for growth. What can you do to grow you? Do you need to start that new exercise class? How about taking a financial education class to better understand the financial and credit system to repair your finances? Have you considered taking some additional classes towards your degree or self-care classes? Now is the time to do it!
3. Serve others. You can be the favorite aunt to children in your life. You can offer to babysit for friends who have children. Look for creative ways to serve others during your single season that you may not otherwise have a chance to do. You can impact a life during this time.
4. Celebrate independent decision-making. Apart from guidance from the Holy Spirit, you are your own decision-maker. There is no challenge that you face in regards to having to compromise with others concerning your decisions. Compromise can be a real challenge in marriages. Just ask a married friend!
5. Get busy doing Kingdom work. You can grow the Kingdom more now than ever as you focus on what the Lord designed specifically for you to do. Now is the perfect time to start that singles’ ministry at your church or launch a new book club that can enhance someone’s walk with the Lord. There is always work to be done to help build the Kingdom.
6. Embrace flexibility. You do not have the challenge of coordinating your spouse’s schedule with yours. You can jump on a plane tomorrow visit a girlfriend in another state if you want. You can take an impromptu vacation if you desire. This is so much harder with a family.
7. Develop confidence. Now is not only the time to find out who you are, but to celebrate it. Grow your confidence. Understand you are uniquely and wonderfully made. There are skills, talents, and abilities that you have been given to make a difference here on earth. Celebrate who God has made you to be. Relinquish old insecurities and rejoice in who you are. In all our similarities, God still makes us uniquely different —each one.
8. Explore things that make you happy. What interests do you have? What are somethings you have just been dying to do? Sky-diving? Rollerblading? Pottery? There are hundreds and hundreds of hobbies that many people say they would love to explore but never take the time. Take some time to explore the things that make you happy and bring you joy. Then, stick with them.
9. Prepare for the next season. One of the biggest challenges that newly-married couples have is thinking that their spouse “completes” them. We have all heard a friend say, “He completes me.” The truth is, no one was created to complete anyone. Sadly, this misnomer creates a huge strain on relationships. Your singleness is the time to ensure you are healthy in all areas, adequately prepared for the next season. Are you managing your money well, or are you looking for someone to complete you? Are you managing your health well or looking for someone to motivate you? Are you parenting your children well or looking for someone to do it for you?
10. Celebrate friendships. The biggest joy the Lord gives us is often our friends. I have been blessed with childhood friends that are still some of my best friends thirty years later. Sadly, we have not nurtured our relationships as much as we once could have. Singles have the wonderful opportunity to nurture friendships more so now than in a potential future marriage season when different responsibilities limit our time. This is a time to go kayaking with friends or have unscheduled movie nights. This is the time to nurture old friendships and create new ones.
Jennifer Maggio is a national voice for single mothers and hurting women. Her personal story has been featured in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Daystar Television, The 700 Club, and many others. She is CEO/Founder of The Life of a Single Mom Ministries, a national nonprofit that works with churches to develop single mom’s programs and currently serves more than 1,500 churches.
The Life of a Single Mom has served 406,000 single mothers over the last decade and counting. Maggio is an author of several books, including The Church and the Single Mom. For more information, visit www.jennifermaggio.com.
Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others.