People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness. - Proverbs 14:29 NLT
Thoughts for Today
Disagreements are normal and even inevitable in marriage, but you and your spouse can learn to use anger constructively.
Purpose in your heart that when you are feeling angry about a conflict with your spouse, you will not overreact, threaten, hit, curse, shout at or name call.
Find a mutually agreeable set of techniques that you will use to help diffuse the intensity of your heated moments of dialogue—and then support each other in being faithful to use these techniques when they are needed.
Begin developing these techniques by asking each other what is needed to control angry feelings. For example, ask "When you are losing control of your anger, do you want me to say nothing, leave the room, not interrupt, hold you, hear you out … " It is important that both spouses are involved in this process and help each other make it work.
Some couples use "time out" to get control of their impulses or feelings of anger. Others count to ten. Some change the scene or subject to allow calmness to return so the issue can be addressed at a later time in an atmosphere more conducive to loving communication. Commit to whatever works best for you and your spouse.
Father, help me control my anger. Please teach me to respond wisely when my spouse is feeling angry. And help my spouse and me to develop a plan together that will work for us. In Jesus' name...
These thoughts were drawn from …Anger: Our Master or Our Servant by Larry Heath. This study offers a clear explanation of anger, what causes it, and how to recognize when you are sinning with anger. It not only ministers to church members, but serves as a powerful evangelistic tool. Note: This curriculum was written especially for small groups and we encourage people to use it that way. However, it can also be used effectively as a personal study for individuals or couples.
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