Wanting to Die
When we fall, we may wish we could just die. We may feel like the struggle is just too much for us. We've tried but failed again; now we're exhausted! When we feel this way we may withdraw from those who could help us. Our shame over the failure makes us want to hide. We feel like the journey is over. The last thing we want to do is start back on the steps of recovery.
Elijah, the great prophet, had similar feelings. Almost immediately after winning one of his greatest victories for God, he became overwhelmed by a threat from wicked Queen Jezebel. "Elijah . . . fled for his life. . . . He went on alone into the wilderness . . . and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord,' he said. ‘Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.' Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree. But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, ‘Get up and eat!' He looked around and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water! So he ate and drank and lay down again. Then the angel of the Lord came again and touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you' " (1 Kings 19:3-7).
After this dark moment, Elijah lived to experience many more great victories. We will too! We probably are exhausted. Right now we need to give ourselves some rest and nourishment. We need someone by our side who will encourage us to get up and get going again. There's still a long journey ahead of us.
When we want to quit we need to look for loving people who will encourage and nourish us.
Taken from The Life Recovery Devotional: Thirty Meditations from Scripture for Each Step in Recovery by Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop. Copyright © 1991 by Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.