Be Who You Desire to Be - Warrior Mom Wisdom - March 8
Be who you desire to be
I was reflecting upon the changes God had orchestrated in my heart, mind, and my soul lately. I was thinking that He was amazing for bringing me to a new place of self-acceptance, healing, hope, and potential in Christ. Directly after this positive thought, I thought, “Oh, but there is so much more to do, so much more that I’m not yet…”
Immediately, I heard, “Be who you desire to be.” It stopped me in my tracks. I was standing by the TV in my bedroom, and I turned to look around – as if I expected to see God standing there since He had just spoken to me. Instead, I saw a reflection of myself in the long mirror upon the wall. I walked up to the mirror and I stared at myself, very intently.
I suddenly understood that I was to face each day – not with an image of my ideal self, as a wife, a mother, a speaker, a writer, nor was I to face each day in hopes of being my ideal size, reaching my ideal level of patience, of kindness, of ounces of amazing-ness. I realized I have spent much of life chasing an ideal self, and I have become exhausted and come up short every time (Romans 3:23). Suddenly, I realized that - every day – I was to wake up and be who I desire to be because in so doing, I will become her.
I will strive to be her in the moment rather than run after her in exhaustion. The chase was over; I would be her every day. As I stood there and looked at myself in the mirror, I felt like I knew myself for the first time. It was as if I had been given the keys to acceptance and peace in regard to myself and my life! Then, I saw it. I caught a glimpse of something new in the corner of my right eye. It sparkled a little bit and I looked closer to see what it was. At that moment, God spoke again and said, “From now on, when you look in the mirror, look until you see Me in your eyes, and then and only then may you walk away.”
I took a deep breath realizing that God had wooed me to stop and He caused me to turn and look in the mirror in order that I might see Him within Me. The glimmer left the corner of my right eye and I felt like I was staring at a new person in the mirror. I almost felt like introducing myself,
“Hello, I’m Kristina … and you are?”
My reflection was a new one. I didn’t really recognize myself, but I was glad. No longer would I be looking for an ideal me, I would be her every day. Instead of praying that I would be more patient, I would be aware of situations and I would be more patient. Instead of hoping to be more kind and generous, I would just be so! I kind of felt like Ebenezer Scrooge from the Christmas Carol – not that I had previously been a miser who refused to let employees enjoy their holidays, but I had been stingy in regard to letting God’s amazing power work within me. You see, I was so preoccupied with chasing after the ideal me, that I lost sight of Him within me. I had lost sight of His power to help me be who I desire to be – which is more like Him every day. When we look in the mirror and only see ourselves, we see all the imperfections, but when we look long enough to see Him, we see amazing beauty and strength, and ability.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
1Co 13:10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
1Co 13:11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
1Co 13:12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
1Co 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
We see the Lion God within victoriously saying, “Now, now you can go forward into your day because it is Me who operates from within you, enabling you to do it.”
When our joy is rooted in the Lord, no longer do we see insecurity, rather, we see the Savior, mighty, strong, and steadfast, unstoppable, and able to do all things.
Yes, every morning, I will approach the mirror expecting to see God’s Love Himself sparking within both eyes before I walk away into the rest of my day – and life. I will be who I desire to be. I pray you are inspired to stare into the mirror until you see Him within you, and then and only then walk away.
For this reason, I kneel before the father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
