The Sound of Fear
I went to an emergency dentist appointment because I had a growth in my mouth. Fearful that it might be mouth cancer, I called immediately. My dentist determined that a major tooth in the lower jaw (don’t ask me what number) cracked deep within my gum, and it was infected. It had apparently infected the roots to the bordering tooth. After his assessment the lady from the front office came in. I knew it was going to be expensive; she had her clipboard. “Well, she said you need that tooth pulled out and a little root-canal work on the tooth next to it. Here’s the price before insurance $2,500 and here’s the price after insurance, $1,300. You can make a few payments if you need to; do you want to start today?”
I teared up thinking how in two days, I went from having $2,000 (from taxes) to only about $500. High school sports, the ministry, and new brakes for the Honda. I was broke, again. “Okay, I said, “trying not to tear up. Can I make at least three payments?” “Yes, that’s fine,” she said. “The doctor will be right in to take that tooth out.”
Immediately, I got up and texted a fellow Warriors who had been praying for me before I came. “Pray; they are taking a big tooth out.” I sat back down, waited for the doctor, and prayed myself.
I’ll try not to get too graphic. I’ll just say that there was a lot of pain, the next day. I also got sick from my medicines and couldn’t eat. I was on the couch for about three days, in pain, on pain medication, unable to eat much. When I slept the throbbing pain woke me up. I prayed a lot. I couldn’t exercise because when I walked or ran, the throbbing took over. I was upset that our money was gone, again. I was upset that I was in pain and I had work to do. I talked to God, a lot. He graciously kept me company. We discussed many interesting things. I took notes so I could write about them when I recovered.
When I went back to the doctor for a bridge fitting/molding, I almost came out of the chair when the room temperature molding stuff landed on my sensitive gum area. My left leg came up like I was doing an old cheerleading routine. Tears came out of my eyes. The dentist looked at his assistant and said, “Can you get Suzy and Jenny in room 2?”
I raised my hand to respond. “How many people are you getting?” I asked.
“What?” he asked. He looked at me like he didn’t know that I just heard him.
“Just how many people are you getting to come in here?!” I said again, my voice full of fear and irritation.
He didn’t know what I was talking about.
To help him spill the beans and confess what he was up to, I asked, “What did you just say?”
“I asked Suzy to check on Jenny in room 2?”
“Oh,” I said, a little embarrassed. “I thought you were getting two more ladies to come in here and hold me down.”
He and his assistant laughed; I laughed a little, but it was a fake laugh. I didn’t want them to think I was actually nuts.
“Yes, Ms. Seymour, You are trouble, we are getting a few people to come in here and sit on you to hold you down.”
Everyone laughed louder then, me included. I felt kind of silly, but I realized that fear had overtaken me. When fear invades, you hear what your fear wants you to hear. It’s amazing how the words get muffled together and changed around. It’s like when you are a kid and you see a monster in the dark, but it ends up being your sweatshirt hanging on the back of a chair. When you are fearful, you also see what
your fear wants you to see.
I decided right then and there that if I was going to survive this dentist trip, i.e. dentist “season” of my life, I better sit here in the power of my faith in God, rather than listen to the fear of my pain.
And we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.
Have you had an experience lately where you interpreted a situation incorrectly because thoughts deceived you? Did you hear a lie about someone and run with it until it landed on your head or came and kicked you in the rear, causing problems in a relationship? Is there a circumstance that you can’t control and fear is keeping you in bondage, frozen?
Have you had an experience that created so much fear in you that you now shrink back, rather than press forward in faith? Today, I challenge you to reassess the relationship and/or the circumstance in faith. May you and I both persevere in faith.
My righteous one will life by faith and if he shrinks back, I will not be well pleased.
Kristina Seymour loves to encourage and equip women through the Word and through community. She is the author of The Warrior Mom Handbook, The Warrior Mom Leadership Manual, and The Warrior Wife Handbook; they are available at Amazon.com. Kristina's Bible studies are for women who desire to live by faith in the midst of their everyday lives. She has learned that women can't survive on caffeine and animal crackers alone; women in the Word and in community are united and able to stand firm. To learn more about Kristina, please visit her website, https://kristinaseymour.com/. God loves to share His story of love and grace through us all, and Kristina believes that everyone has a story to tell.