5 Ways Older Believers Can Mentor the Next Generation in a Loud World

Our culture trains young people to be busy, to perform, and to measure their worth by their productivity and their social media metrics. What they need to see is the power of the quiet freedom that comes from centering their lives around their relationships with God. You can show them how to grow closer to God by practicing spiritual disciplines, such as prayer and meditation.

In 1 Kings 19:12, the Bible describes God’s voice as “a still small voice.” God speaks quietly in this loud world to encourage us to seek him more, and an important part of seeking God is being still. In Psalm 46:10, God says: “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Explain to young people that God deserves their full attention, and that he wants them to know him better by communicating with him regularly. Help them think of prayer as talking to God and meditation as listening to God. Encourage them to plan a regular time in their schedule every day for focused prayer and meditation time (even for 5 minutes), and to check in with God throughout their day, as well. Be sure to encourage them to read and apply God’s messages to them in the Bible regularly.

As Psalm 119:105 says: “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Show them how they can use the Bible for guidance to make important decisions. Share the authentic ways that you do so regularly, and include some stories about how God has answered your past prayers for guidance and blessed you as you followed that guidance. Help young people see that spiritual disciplines are easy to do and enjoyable ways to grow closer to God. For example, young people often hesitate to read the Bible because it feels too long or too complicated to them. You can change that. Help them find one passage to focus on for a week or a month. Then talk with them about what that passage is telling them about God, and about themselves.

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When talking about your life with others, it’s natural to want to present the highlights, such as your best decisions and the times when your faith was strong. But a carefully curated version of your life won’t help the next generation. Actually, it will create an impossible standard that will make them feel discouraged that they can’t succeed as much as you have. What young people really need is for you to share your real story of faith – including how messy it has been, and how much God has helped you in the process.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, the Bible reminds you of how God’s power helps you overcome your weaknesses: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” When you share honestly about times you were weak, but God’s power helped you, you can show the next generation how God’s grace works. So, be specific about your mistakes. You can share a story of when your pride cost you a relationship with a person, but God forgave you and taught you to be humble, or when you worried about money, and God came through to provide what you needed.

Sharing your failures gives you valuable opportunities to share the power of God’s mercy and grace. The young people you’re talking with might be struggling with sins that are weighing them down. They might be feeling a lot of shame or even believe that what they did is unforgivable. You can encourage them to pursue God’s forgiveness and move forward with real hope. Also, let them know that it’s okay to wrestle with doubt – and that honest questioning is a valuable way to learn more about God and grow closer to him. Talk about the seasons when you didn’t sense God’s presence with you, when a tragedy made you question God’s goodness, or when a Bible verse just didn’t make sense in your life. By being vulnerable about your own doubts, you show them that asking tough questions is part of the process of developing deeper faith.

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When young people come to you with a question, you might be tempted to give them a Bible verse or a quick, authoritative answer. But what they need more than your answers is your attention. They need to feel seen, understood, and really heard without judgment. James 1:19 says: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

So, focus on listening well. Ask open-ended, curious questions. Fight the urge to interrupt or offer advice right away. When they share a struggle, try asking them questions to help them reflect for themselves, such as: “How does this make you feel?” or “If you could change one thing about this, what would it be?” This shows them that you’re processing their experiences along with them. By asking questions, you can help them think more critically and arrive at their own conclusions, guided by the Holy Spirit.

Sometimes, the most powerful mentoring tool is silence. When they take a break while talking, let the silence hang in the air for a few extra beats. Resist the urge to fill the void. This provides an emotional space for them to gather their thoughts and feelings so you they can share more. Be sure to validate their emotions, even when you disagree. Even though you might disagree with a conclusion they’ve reached or a choice they’re considering, it’s important to validate their experience first. Once they feel understood, they’ll be more receptive to the wisdom you want to share with them.

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This loud world can give the next generation bad advice on two of the most critical areas of life: who to love and what to do for a living. Young people are facing lots of pressure about their relationships and careers. As someone who has experienced the importance of pursuing God’s wisdom and developing discernment to make the best decisions, you can give them the perspective they need to see that it’s worthwhile to seek God’s guidance and to choose God’s leading over anything else as they’re figuring out which direction to go.

Proverbs 1:5 says: “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.” Talk about how you pursued God’s wisdom and developed discernment in your own life – both in your dating relationships and marriage, and in the jobs you’ve had throughout your career. Help young people understand that God has created them with unique and important purposes for their lives. Encourage them to get to know their values and interests well, and to be their true selves in their relationships and when they’re figuring out their career paths.

Let them know that they don’t have to worry about trying to conform to this fallen world’s ideas of what their relationships and careers should look like (such as pursuing unhealthy ways to express their sexuality in their relationships, or by choosing money over meaning for their careers). Instead, encourage them to follow God’s advice in Romans 12:2: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 

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People in the next generation can often feel disconnected from history. They can fall victim to new age philosophies because they lack an appreciation for the long history of our Christian faith. Hebrews 12:1 points out: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

You can help the young people you’re mentoring see that they aren’t running their faith races alone, but that they have faithful believers across history cheering them on. Your role as a mentor is to connect them to the great cloud of witnesses by showing them that they’re part of the great story God is writing throughout history. Introduce them to the stories of famous Christians who struggled and overcame their challenges with God’s help. You can tell them about C.S. Lewis grappling with grief, Corrie ten Boom offering forgiveness in a concentration camp, or Martin Luther fighting for the Bible’s accessibility.

Sharing the stories of Christians from the past who had inspiring lives can broaden young people’s perspectives and show them that the kinds of challenges they face (like doubt, suffering, or injustice) have been faced and overcome by faithful people who lived before them. You can also explain the historical meaning behind the traditional practices of your church, such as why you say the Lord’s Prayer, celebrate Communion, or observe Lent and Advent. By teaching them the meaning behind your church’s traditions, you can connect them across time and space to their family of believers throughout history and around the world. 

In conclusion, you have a unique and irreplaceable part to play in the lives of the next generation. You can mentor them well without having all the answers or being perfect. All you need to do is be present, honest, and willing to show them how God helps people in all situations. In this loud world full of noisy messages competing for young people’s attention, you can teach them how to hear God’s voice and experience the peace God wants to give them!

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