6 Ways for New Parents to Make Time for Their Marriage

The key to still having time for your marriage is intentionality. It's easy to put the marriage on the back burner because all your time is consumed by caring for a newborn. It's essential to remember that this won't last forever and is just a season of life. It is also necessary to honor the time you want to invest in your marriage.

The less time you invest in your marriage, the more likely you are to become distant. This emotional distance will become a breeding ground for a lack of communication, infidelity, and other areas that may strain a marriage even further than having to adjust to life with a new baby.

Just as it takes sacrifice to care for a newborn, it also takes sacrifice to invest in your marriage. If your spouse must get up early to go to work, get up with them. Make time to pray together or spend time talking. Go throughout your day and discuss your week together. Share your prayer requests and let each other know that you're praying for each other.

Throughout the day, send texts and let each other know that you love and are thinking of one another. Although this may seem like a small investment, it can yield significant benefits in maintaining the health of your marriage.

Instead of focusing on the lack of time you have for your marriage, capitalize on the time you do have. Figure out each other's rhythm and go with it. One of you may have to make sacrifices to join the other person's rhythm. You may need to stay up a little later than usual or get up earlier than normal.

When no one is awake, this brief pocket of time can be utilized to great benefit. Reconnect with each other by sharing your struggles and challenges with raising a baby. More than likely, you both have the same struggles, but you are not expressing them due to the amount of time you need to focus on your child.

It's not just about quantity time, but quality time. If you spend half an hour talking and expressing deep feelings, you will feel more connected than spending two hours on a date together. Because this season may not allow you to go on extended dates, you have to make the most of the time you do have. Everyone gets the same amount of time throughout the day. Waste less time getting ready in the morning and focus more on being with each other.

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Not only is time a significant factor in whether couples spend time together with the newborn baby in the house, but it can also be a lack of finances. Because all the rest of the money needs to go toward food, diapers, and clothing, there may be little or no money left in the budget to allow for concentrated time to invest in each other. Prioritize your marriage and allocate a budget for it. Even if you were able to save $50 a week from your paycheck, at the end of the month, you would have $200 to spend on a good time together. When you know you have that money earmarked for your marriage, it may be something you look forward to.

Limit your dates to once a month but make them worthwhile with the money you have already spent. Not only will it be satisfying to know that you are not accruing debt to have date nights, but also that you are investing in each other with allocated money that can be used toward rich, rewarding experiences that you will have to look back on with joy.

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Although it is ideal to allocate time in the morning or evening for devotional time, reading the Word, and praying, consider doing it together as a family. If the baby wakes up between 5:00 and 6:00 AM, use that time to pray together. Shower in the evening, so that showers are not something that needs to be done in the morning. Pack lunches early and make sure they are done for the day. Don't spend that early time getting ready for the day. Utilize your time the night before so you are ready and set for the morning. Then, use half an hour to pray together.

Pray together as a family and allow the child to sleep on you or tend to their needs while praying. God still enjoys a family that prays together. He is pleased when he sees you caring for one of his treasured creations. When you still honor him by giving him time, even if it's interrupted, God is pleased. God promises to fill our souls with the spiritual water that always satisfies. He will fill your soul if you honor your time by giving him even a small fraction of it during the day.

If finding childcare to invest in concentrated time is the main problem, invest in hiring a babysitter. Some apps will help you find local babysitters in the area who are trained in CPR and willing to watch your child while you go out for the night. Even if you cannot do this as frequently as you once did before children, you will find that this concentrated amount of time to go out to dinner, see a movie, or do something fun will help breathe new life back into your marriage.

Although it's challenging to trust someone in today's world, it's essential to trust someone enough to invest in your marriage. Check with your local church to see if there are any teens you know who are trained and available to watch your child. Leave the child with a couple in the church whom you trust, who can watch them for the evening. Don't be so distrusting that you can't find anyone to watch your child.

There are many loving couples, even older ones, whose kids and grandkids have grown up, and they miss having a small child around. They will love your child like never before, and it will give you the time you need to relax and fully emotionally invest in your spouse.

Investing time together in fun activities does not necessarily mean going out all the time. However, it helps to be away from the home environment, where you can be easily distracted. You can invite friends over to play a game or talk. If you find that you cannot leave the house due to the child's schedule, consider inviting friends over. Tell them it's a low-key event and that you just want to hang out and relax.

You can even ask them to bring food items with them so that you don't have to cook. Let them know that you will not be doing a lot of heavy cleaning—your focus is on your child. Your true friends will understand and want to make time to see you, love your child, and love you as well.

Having friends over can also be a rewarding experience, as you can play a game and get to know each other better. Avoid watching screens if possible. Although movies can be a way to connect, you may find that you didn't get a chance to talk deeply with your friends at the end of the movie. Deep, intimate conversation is needed when you are focusing on another person for an extended time.

To thrive, you need to be emotionally and socially connected to others. Make sure that whatever activity you do is focused on talking with each other. Get quickly past the superficial and into the deeper aspects.

New parents need to make time for their marriage. Couples may feel pressured to make this a regular time or to emulate what they had in the past. However, with this new transition in life, your investment in marriage will also be different. Go with the ebb and flow of your schedule. Don't feel pressured to continue going out and spending a large chunk of time if a child is ill or taking up much of your sleep time.

Sometimes the best way to connect is to put the baby down early, have someone at home to watch them, and relax in bed, talking and sleeping. Do whatever you need to do to recharge your batteries and invest in your marriage.