As Christians, we are called to show others hospitality and open our hearts and homes to them. This can be easier said than done in the hectic world we live in. Our lives are crammed with responsibilities, essential things that need to be done (grocery shopping, housecleaning, etc.), and events we need to attend. The thought of opening our homes to others can be stressful. Here are some ways to open your heart and home without the stress.
Understanding the Importance of an Open Heart and Home
We must first understand that hospitality is a powerful thing. It's not just about inviting someone into your home, it has many benefits like:
Enhancing social connections:
Reaching out to someone for a coffee date invitation or through a heartfelt text lays the groundwork for deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Improving our emotional well-being:
Helping others has a mood-boosting effect.
Discovering purpose and meaning:
If you have a certain talent or skill that you used to help someone else, it may be a key to discovering your purpose.
Boosting physical health:
Having social ties is good for the heart, reduces stress, and helps keep depression at bay.
Increases our capacity for empathy:
Being around other people and learning about their stories and lives increases our capacity for being empathetic.
Photo credit: ©SWN/Image created using DALL.E 2024 AI technology
1. Setting the Right Mindset: Embracing Vulnerability
1. Setting the Right Mindset: Embracing Vulnerability
Inviting people into our homes can be a very vulnerable thing and set off feelings of anxiety and fear. Here are some tips to overcome this.
-Understand your triggers and what sparks your social anxiety. Once you identify a cause, you can find a solution.
-Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. Instead of thinking, 'Something is going to go wrong,' turn it into 'I'm going to do the best I can to ensure a good time and accept my mistakes if something goes wrong.' Ask yourself if your thoughts are based on facts or your feelings. Then, turn your negative thought on its head by asking what's the best that could happen rather than what's the worst that could happen.
-Consider professional therapy.
-Learn relaxation and breathing techniques to calm yourself down.
-Make lifestyle changes to help your anxiety, like changing your diet or getting more exercise.
-Build your social skills and keep it simple. Try smiling at three people today. Then, say hi to three people tomorrow. Try to make small talk with one person in the grocery line this week. Baby steps will lead to bigger steps.
2. Creating a Welcoming Environment: A Stress-Free Approach
2. Creating a Welcoming Environment: A Stress-Free Approach
Everyone wants their home to feel warm and inviting. Here are some tips to help cozy up your space for friends and family.
-Add throw blankets to your couch and chairs.
-Instead of harsh overhead lighting, turn on some lamps for a more inviting, homey effect.
-Blend warm colors like neutrals, sage green, mustard, and terracotta when choosing colors.
-Add some houseplants, but if you have pets, please research which plants are safe for them and which are not.
-Display your personal items. If you love books, make a little reading nook. If you love to cook, display your high-end cookware.
-Also, add some comfy throw pillows to your decor.
-Buy a Glade plug-in or scent diffuser in a seasonal scent.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/WiroKlyngz
3. Mindful Planning: Organizing Gatherings Without Overwhelm
3. Mindful Planning: Organizing Gatherings Without Overwhelm
Sometimes, planning or even thinking about planning a social event or gathering triggers anxiety and overwhelm. It doesn't have to be this way. Here are some ways to plan social events prioritizing joy over stress.
-Define your event's purpose and audience. A black-tie wedding should be elegant, but a child's birthday party is fun. Will your guests be adults or kids? Having clear goals will guide your decision-making process.
-Set realistic goals early on. If you have a year to plan a wedding, then you will have several goals that you will achieve. If you're planning a child's birthday party in a week, then your goals need to be simpler to attain them.
-Create a realistic budget that will keep your event on track. List out every expense, from food to decor to entertainment, and plan for unexpected expenses, too. Budgeting wisely will make you less stressed and have a high-quality event.
-Brainstorm creative ideas. If you are planning a wedding on a budget, I highly recommend Bridal Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields. Although Denise and Alan Fields published the most recent edition several years ago, it still offers excellent ideas for saving money planning a wedding. It helped my husband and me when we planned ours. If you're having a child's birthday party and you have friends with creative talents like face painting or making balloon animals, ask if they would donate their time on a Saturday afternoon.
-Plan early to avoid last-minute stress. This should go without saying.
-Use proactive planning and time management tips. Write lists and set reminders on your phone. Add deposits and when the last payments are due on your phone calendar.
-When prioritizing tasks, base them on urgency and importance.
-By all means, ask for help. If things are just too overwhelming, ask a close friend or family member for help.
4. Inviting with Intent: Choosing the Right Guests
4. Inviting with Intent: Choosing the Right Guests
When planning an event, you don't want to invite just any guest; you want to invite the right guests. Here are some things to consider with guests.
How do you want to feel at your event? Easy and relaxed or uptight?
Do an honest assessment of your friends and family and remove those who are negative, narcissistic, or condescending from your guest list.
Focus on those who are positive and enrich your life.
Consider inviting someone new to your event—a new friend, a coworker, a new neighbor, or someone from your church.
Promise yourself that if anyone gets out of hand, you will ask them to leave.
Invite people who you love being around and can be yourself with.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/andreswd
5. Food Made Easy: Simple Food Ideas for Entertaining
5. Food Made Easy: Simple Food Ideas for Entertaining
Planning the food for any event can be super stressful. First, make sure you set an RSVP date several weeks, if not months, ahead of time, depending on your event. Here are some simple ideas for food when entertaining.
Appetizers
-Meatballs
-Chips and Salsa
-Vegetables and Dip
-Mozzarella sticks, chicken nuggets, etc.
Dinner Ideas
-Crockpot Meals (Think soups or casseroles)
-Lemon Herb Chicken Breast
-Herb Roasted Garlic Chicken with Mashed Potatoes (Look for a no-boil mashed potato recipe you can make in the crockpot.)
-Fettuccine Alfredo with Garlic Bread
-Chef Salad Bread Bowls
-Taco Salad
-Cold pasta salads
-You can make hot sandwich fixings in the crock pot, such as sloppy joes, pulled pork, or crack chicken.
Snacks
-Taco Crackers (Oyster crackers, oil, and taco seasoning)
-Chex Mix
-Nuts
Desserts
-No Bake Desserts
-Crockpot cake (Find a recipe for chocolate lava crockpot cake or butterscotch toffee crockpot cake, etc.)
-Sundae Bar
-Bars (Cereal bars, potato chip bars, s'more bars)
-Brownies
Remember, depending on your event, it doesn't always have to be fancy. It's not about the food you make; it's about the connections you make and keep. Also, remember any food allergies or special diets your guests may have.
6. Incorporating Personal Touches: Sharing Your Story
6. Incorporating Personal Touches: Sharing Your Story
-There are all kinds of ways to create personal connections at your event and set a warm, welcoming tone. Chances are, some of your guests may be just as nervous as you are, so these ideas will help break the ice for everyone.
-If you're using name badges, give them a twist. Writing just a name is boring. Instead, add something fun about the person. For example, George has traveled to Ireland five times, Macy loves the Justice League movies, and Brad loves country music. Other ideas include fun facts, hobbies, icebreaker questions, bucket list items, personal quotes, etc.
-Share a little about yourself and why you wanted to have the event.
-Create a swag bag for everyone to take home relating to the event. You could put your recipes for dinner and dessert, a mini bottle of the wine you drank, or a mini can of soda for non-drinkers, mints, gum, candy, etc.
-Write each person a handwritten thank you note.
-If someone has a food allergy or is on a special diet, plan a dish just for them.
7. Balancing Personal Time and Social Responsibilities
7. Balancing Personal Time and Social Responsibilities
When inviting people into our homes, it's important to set boundaries. Here are some ways you can do this.
-Write your limits and be aware of what you will or will not tolerate in your home.
-Communicate clearly to your guests and use 'I' statements instead of 'you' statements.
-When enforcing your boundaries, stay consistent.
-Make sure you practice saying 'no' ahead of time, and don't feel guilty or apologetic if you need to use it.
-Own your boundaries and be responsible for your needs.
-When establishing boundaries, be respectful of people and never confrontational.
8. Navigating Difficult Conversations: Keeping the Atmosphere Light
8. Navigating Difficult Conversations: Keeping the Atmosphere Light
It can be hard when a tough conversation comes up out of nowhere, especially in a group of people. Here are some ways to handle the situation.
-First, pause and acknowledge your surprise and emotions. Take a deep breath to relax and gain your composure.
-Ask open-ended questions to further understand the full context. This also shows you will listen.
-Be an active listener. Focus fully on who is speaking, avoid interrupting, and reflect on what you are hearing. Paraphrase statements like, "It sounds like you're feeling angry about…xyz." This shows engagement and understanding.
-Maintain calm and avoid defensive gestures. Be mindful of your body language, and always use a respectful tone.
-Always use 'I' statements.
-If needed, reference things like facts, policies, or other information to help ground the discussion in context.
-Agree to disagree for now and realize that you may need to follow up later with the person to ensure a mutual understanding of each other's opinions and ways of seeing things.
Reflecting on Your Experiences: Learning and Growing from Each Gathering
Reflecting on Your Experiences: Learning and Growing from Each Gathering
Once your party or event is over, take some time to reflect on how things went. Write things that went well and were not so good, budget issues that may have come up, extra expenses, etc. Then, take these things and learn from them to make your next gathering even better.
Inviting others into our homes doesn't have to be stressful. With a lot of planning and organization, we can be ready to welcome others at any time.
Originally published June 18, 2025.
