"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." —Henry Youngman
Winning a war takes devoted commitment to a cause. When an army burns a bridge behind them on their way to a battle, they are cutting off their only possibility of retreat, fully committing to fight for victory, even to the point of death.
Today, it’s time to burn down a bridge that some people keep as an out in their marriage.
Lie 5: Divorce is an option.
I mean, jeez. Really? What happened to “till death do we part”? Entertaining this idea puts a cap on the commitment you’re willing to give to your spouse and will allow other distractions to take away concentration from your relationship. If that little idea’s in the back of your mind, it’s killing your marriage, guaranteed.
Now, there are allowances in Scripture for divorce in extreme circumstances…
- Matthew 5:32 — Jesus said, “Except for sexual immorality.” He made an exception for people whose spouses were acting out sexually. In some of those cases, you can move forward with divorce.
- 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 — If you become a believer and your spouse is a nonbeliever, remains a non-believer and they leave you, divorce is allowed.
- Death probably counts too… But not if you cause it! (There is that commandment about murder, but let’s not go there.)
Just remember: An exception, by definition, is exceptional for extreme cases. It’s normal for marriage to get tough—even so tough that you don’t think you can handle it anymore. But your two options are not “stay in this miserable marriage, or get divorced.”Your two options are: 1) disengage, be unhappy, numb, and live separate lives under the same roof, or 2) actively engross yourself in whatever is necessary to bring life to your marriage by letting Christ handle what you can’t handle anymore.
Holy Spirit, You are the great Counselor and by Your counsel, I burn my bridges. I’m all in until death do we part. Jesus, I no longer live, but You live in me. I fully surrender to Your leadership. Father, the battle belongs to You. I rest in You and trust in You to bring us to a point of victory over the world, the flesh, and the devil. Amen.
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