I feel so guilty
The story of Judas is a miserable one, and I don’t mean for the reasons you think. True enough, Judas was a greedy, selfish, money-hungry, lying, betraying weasel. But that is not the worst part. The worst is that his massive guilt made him think that he was a bigger sinner than Christ was a Savior.
You can’t approve of what Judas did, but you can understand his miserable conclusion. So could David: “My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear” (Psalms 38:4). Do those words sound familiar to thoughts of your own? “Done it too often, too long. The badness inside me proves I’m no good. I’m too far gone.”
David had good reasons to despair: lies, theft, adultery, murder. He also believed this: “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him” (Psalms 62:1). The crucifixion of Christ, pre-enacted for centuries by the shedding of animal blood in place of people’s, bought total forgiveness for David and all other sinners retroactively, backward in time, and also proactively, forward in time, setting up a tidal wave of mercy that covers us as well. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
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