"My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galatians 2:20
Thoughts for Today
We need to accept the fact that we cannot cure our loved one's problem. Our best caretaking efforts will not succeed "fixing" things. In fact, we need to understand that we are not responsible for our loved one's cure. Our responsibility is to deepen our relationship with Christ, pray for our loved one, and trust Jesus to guide us.
The simplest definition of codependency is "to be dependent along with." That doesn't mean that you necessarily use the same substances or participate in the same kinds of behaviors as the one you care about. What it does imply is the idea of being so deeply drawn into his or her life-controlling problem that it becomes your problem as well. This can result in your being filled with guilt and blame and other downgrading thoughts.
But that's not who you are. Your significance is in Christ--and in Him is where you find freedom and confidence.
Consider this …
Learning to "live out" the reality of who you are in Christ begins with making a choice: Who will you honor? Then, after that choice is made, you may need to do some work on putting that reality into action in your life.
If you have centered your life around your loved ones instead of around God, this is the point where you need to reaffirm who you are in Christ and recognize the identity and the freedom you have in Him. As it is with all other human needs, establishing a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the most effective way to overcome codependent relationships.
Father, thank you that Christ lives in me. I've been so wrapped up in my loved one's problems that I have forgotten the freedom, the forgiveness, and the righteousness I have in Jesus. As your child, I know the best thing I can do is focus on my relationship with you, pray for my loved one, and trust you to guide me and to help my loved one. Please help me to honor you in my choices. In Jesus' name …
These thoughts were drawn from …Concerned Persons: Because We Need Each Other by Jimmy Ray Lee, D.Min. This group is designed for the many people who have a current or past relationship with a person who has a life-controlling problem.
- It emphasizes the need we all have for each other.
- It helps people focus on Christ rather than on the problem.
- It serves as a powerful evangelistic tool by providing a way to minister to people's felt needs and then pointing them to Christ.Note: This curriculum was written especially for small groups, and we encourage people to use it that way. However, it can also be used effectively as a study for individuals or couples.
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