Rules for Men
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
* Do something she dislikes & points are subtracted.
* You don't get any points for doing something she expects!!
* Sorry, that's the way the game is played...
Simple Duties
You take out the recyclables and stack them neatly by the curb.....+1
You take out the recyclables at 4:30 am, as the truck pulls away...-1
You load the dishwasher whenever you dirty a dish..................+1
You leave dishes in the sink.......................................-1
You leave them under the bed.......................................-5
You leave the toilet seat up.......................................-1
You leave the toilet seat up in the middle of the night
(and she's pregnant)..............................................-20
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty...................0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex........-1
When the Kleenex runs out, you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom.-2
You make the bed...................................................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows..........0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets........................-1
You make sure there's plenty of gas in the car for her.............+1
You make sure there are barely enough fumes in the car
to make it to the nearest gas station..............................-1
You check out a suspicious noise at night...........................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something................+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....................................+10
It's her father...................................................-10
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party...............................0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy....................................................-2
Named Tiffany......................................................-4
When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze at her lovingly..+1
When mingling, you introduce her as "the ol' ball and chain," and pat her on the rump............................................-5
Flowers
You buy her flowers only when it's expected.........................0
You don't buy her flowers when it's expected......................-10
You buy her flowers as a surprise..................................+5
You give wild flowers you've actually picked yourself.............+10
And she contracts Lyme disease....................................-25
Driving
You lose the directions on a trip..................................-4
You lose the direction and end up getting lost....................-10
You end up getting lost in a bad part of town.....................-15
You get lost in a bad part of town and meet
the locals up close and personal..................................-25
She finds out you lied about having a black belt..................-60
Originally published November 14, 2002.
