"A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants." (2 Timothy 2:24-26 NLT)
Thoughts for Today
Care-fronting says to the other person that you care about them enough to confront them about the issues that are important to you.
Your purpose is to gently help your loved one with a life-controlling problem see themselves as they really are. With caring confrontation you chip chip away—bit by bit—the wall of delusion that hides the reality of the downward spiral of their life-controlling problem.
Consider this …
For the rest of this week, we will look at some of the practical elements of caring confrontation. The first element: focus on the action, not on the actor.
We need to be careful not to criticize or label a person as "bad." Instead, focus on the behaviors causing the problem. The action, not the actor.
When the person tries to use a defense like rationalizing or anger or denial, always bring the discussion back to the behaviors. Emphasize what your loved one does rather than attacking him or her personally.
Lord, I need your strength and your wisdom. In my frustration, I know I've often looked at my loved one as a bad person because of what he does. Help me focus on his behavior instead. In Jesus' name . . .
These thoughts were drawn from …Concerned Persons: Because We Need Each Other by Jimmy Ray Lee, D.Min. This group is designed for the many people who have a current or past relationship with a person who has a life-controlling problem.
- It emphasizes the need we all have for each other.
- It helps people focus on Christ rather than on the problem.
- It serves as a powerful evangelistic tool by providing a way to minister to people's felt needs and then pointing them to Christ.
Note: This curriculum was written especially for small groups, and we encourage people to use it that way. However, it can also be used effectively as a study for individuals or couples.
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