Intersection of Life and Faith

10 Good Questions to Ask on a First Date

  • Michael and Carlie Kercheval Contributing Writers
10 Good Questions to Ask on a First Date

Are you looking for some good questions to ask on a first date? You’ve come to the right place! Oftentimes the first date can be awkward for one or both people as you are both trying to get to know one another and feel comfortable along the way. 

You are both being cautious not to say too much and want to be on your best behavior, giving your date your undivided attention. But what happens if you are both so nervous that you don’t know what to say?

That’s where we can help.

We remember our first date like it was yesterday. It was a tram ride through a beautiful animal-filled forest over 20 years ago in the Pacific Northwest. Not only was the breath-taking scenery of God’s creation the perfect backdrop, the conversation couldn’t have been any better. 

We had several long chats that led to a wonderful time of consecrated conversations that fueled the start to our Christ-focused connection. It was a date that we’ll never forget as long as we both live.

If you are out on a date with someone, it is likely someone that you are considering for marriage. So having some deep thought provoking questions in the queue is a great way to see if the person you go out with is someone that you could see yourself creating a lifelong marriage with.

After talking to many couples over the years, we’ve realized how many couples benefit by having some good conversation ideas going into their first date rather than winging it. By having an idea of what to talk about, it helps ease any nervousness that may surface. 

Here are 10 good questions to ask on a first date.

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  • 1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

    1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

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    While this question may seem rather insignificant, it really cuts to the core of who a person is. You can tell a lot about a person by what they choose to do when they are not under the obligation of work or school. And it is always great to start the conversation with a non-threatening question that can break the ice.

    Photo courtesy: ©Thinkstock/Noel Hendrickson

  • 1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

    2. What is your favorite movie of all time?

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    This is always a fun question. People tend to relax when they are able to share about something that they enjoy but isn’t seen as too personal. Knowing what people like to watch for entertainment also gives some great insight into who they are as a person. 

    We both learned a lot about one another having this very same conversation on our first date! We learned that we both loved military and historical films as well as clean comedy films. And those are the very same movies that we watch together to this day.

    Photo courtesy: ©Thinkstock/Digital Vision.

  • 1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

    3. Who are the most important people in your life?

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    Knowing who is important to someone gives you keen insight into his or her world. This question provides a wonderful opportunity for your date to express their passion for those they value most. This question opens up the possibility of more conversations about family, friends, and love, which ultimately lead right to Jesus. What more could you want?

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  • 1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

    4. What makes you laugh?

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    Questions like this one usually lead to lots of laughter and lighten up the atmosphere. Knowing that your potential partner has a great sense of humor is a really great way to help steer the conversation. We laughed a lot on our first date, so much so that we cried a few times. And do you know what the best part is? We still laugh together (and cry from laughter) over 20 years later!

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  • 1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

    5. If you could meet anyone in the world right now, who would it be and why?

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    This is always a fascinating question to ask. It opens up a space for heartfelt conversation about what is important to each of you. It gives you the opportunity to explore a bit beyond the surface without probing too deep.

    This question also opens up the opportunity to learn more about each other’s worldviews. And of course this question can lead to a series of other questions because it’s hypothetical. It’s a crowd pleaser for sure.

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  • 1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

    6. What is your favorite book of the Bible?

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    Most Christians love to talk about their faith and this question is an easy way to open up that discussion. Even if your date doesn’t have a favorite book of the Bible, that’s okay. It is likely that they will be able to answer question #7 with ease. 

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  • 1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

    7. What is your all-time favorite Bible verse?

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    A lot of people get really excited to share their favorite verse in the Bible. And most of the time they don’t have just one. This is an awesome way to see what fuels them as a Christian. And an added benefit is that if they can’t pick just one, then you have a great opportunity to keep sharing God’s Word. And as you already know, God’s Word is the best thing you could possibly talk about!

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  • 1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

    8. If you could travel to any place in the world right now, where would you go?

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    Dreaming together has been such an important part of cultivating a strong marriage these last two decades. By sharing your dreams on a first date, you are opening up the lines of communication to really share your heart. 

    Heart connection is the first step to getting to know your potential spouse. It is an important part of the “getting to know you” process. And it is also a great way to connect with your date in a meaningful way.

    Photo courtesy: ©Thinkstock/jacoblund

  • 1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

    9. Where do you see yourself five years from now?

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    While not everyone is futuristic in his or her thinking, people love to talk about their passions and love to be heard. It’s fun to imagine yourself in the future because it allows you both to explore your God-given dreams. If this ends up being the person you marry, you are already helping them visualize and speak life into their dreams!

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  • 1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

    10. What is your most memorable experience with God?

    Slide 10 of 10

    This is always a good one. What Christian doesn’t want to share about the goodness of God? From our experience, this is always a great question to ask if the date is going well. We definitely don’t recommend starting off with this question, but if you are both comfortable, it’s a no brainer for great connection!

    First dates can be awkward. However, if you are armed with some great questions going into your first date, it can ease into the situation for both of you. Remember that just because you brought the questions doesn’t mean you need to dominate the conversation. Keep the golden rule for communication that we learn in James 1:19 at the forefront of your mind, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak…”

    As you listen intently to your date’s answers, you will make them feel heard and accepted. Before you know it the date will be going smoothly and you will be enjoying one another’s company without floundering for what to say next. 

    We’re excited for you! Who knows, you may be going out with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with! No pressure. Just have fun and enjoy that first date!

    Michael + Carlie Kercheval have been smitten by one another for over 2 decades. They were college sweethearts before marrying one another in June of 2000. They are the masterminds behind the course, From Roommates to Soulmates™, and co-authors of the popular marriage devotional: Consecrated Conversations. Together they founded Fulfilling Your Vows™ in obedience to the ministry God has placed in their hearts to help equip couples for biblical marriage.

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